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On Thursday night I and apparently half of Shanghai squeezed into VIP to see Jin perform. The place was so crowded that we actually couldn't get in at first; Kira had to leverage the lust that one of the VIP DJs had for her in order to sneak our group through the back door and past the suspicious security guards.

One thing about Jin: even though this guy has some serious MC talent, I think that we (descendants of Asia) would have gone out to see and support this guy even if he rapped like I imagine Michael Bolton would rap. It makes it all the more sweet that he knows how to work the crowd and ride off the great beats that he has. In no time at all, Mike and I were atop a side platform, idiotically waving our arms up and done in glee. It didn't matter that people of all shapes and sizes were pushing up on us from all angles: this was our hip hop spokesman!

And then suddenly, the tide of shrieks escalated and the camera flashes started peppering the stage, and guess who sauntered down from the VIP deck above the platform to grab a mike and beat box with Jin? That's right folks, it was Chinese pop superstar Wang Lee Hom (王力宏).


Jin and Wang Lee Hom lovin' on Chinese pussy people

Now, let me tell you a little about Lee Hom: if you read what the fans have to say about him, he pretty much qualifies as the closest thing to the perfect Chinese male. He excelled academically growing up in the States but followed his dreams and musical talent to achieve pop stardom in Taiwan and China. He knows how to play piano and violin and apparently writes a lot of his own music. Oh yeah, the ladies find him almost too good-looking (see the comments below). This is scientifically proven because, after we left VIP, Kira couldn't stop talking about how much she wanted to fuck the guy, even though she has an affinity for only giving herself to Anglo-Saxons.


What does he have on me besides looks, fame, talent, fortune, and girls? Oh yeah, all those things. *sob*

The next day, while recounting my previous night's experience with co-workers, I couldn't find a way to say "that guy gets so much pussy" in Chinese, and I think they mistook my consternation for intense jealousy. They're pretty much right, I am jealous up the ass because I'm not Lee Hom.

Which is basically why I'm using this great platform of a blog to reach out to all my readers across the lands to halt the vicious spread of Lee Hom love that I witnessed first hand at VIP as the breasts and asses of dozens of horny young superfans pressed against me in debicel-busting delight. Someone this perfect MUST have something dreadfully wrong with him, and it's critical that an absolutely talentless and unloved schmuck like myself make the truth about him clear to the greater public. Therefore, here goes...

"Wang Lee Hom beats his mother. And his poop really really stinks."

There. Your move, Lee Hom.