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Shorter Ross Douthat:

Poor Mexican atheist sluts are ruining America and someday the smug liberals who have enabled them will reap this baby-momma godless sex whirlwind

(Obligatory Chunky Reese Witherspoon explanation)

After Amazon’s Magical Affinity Algorithms decided I might like some Romney/Ryan beer koozies…

I thought I would check out some of their other great deals since holiday shopping starts just minutes after you have trampled somebody to death in search of a cheap flatscreen at Walmart on Friday morning at 3AM.

Let’s go shopping!

There is Romney Soap, in vanilla of course, because white bread has no smell.

A Romney Garden Gnome to ward off illegal browns from attempting to mow your lawn, just in case you’re running for president, for pete’s sake!

A Romney Chia Pet because … why not for a candidate whose hair was the most memorable and  distinguished element of his campaign?

I actually enjoy this one, designed to buck up the spirits of a Tea Bagger who still can’t believe that the Republican party went with Romney/Ryan instead of Glenn Beck/Ted Nugent:

Since you will undoubtedly have to endure your embittered lunatic racist wingnut uncle ranting about the blahs and gifts and the welfare and Obama phones over Thanksgiving dinner this Thursday, you can reciprocate the holiday joy by sending him one of these lovely all-occasion cards for Christmas:

Suggested inscription:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOSER! LOOOOOSER!!!!

Merry Christmas,

Bob & Whitney and the twins.

Let’s not forget the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver:

…and lastly, for the literature buff in the family, a very special collection of stories to read all snuggled up in front of the fire on Christmas eve, written by the Romney son the family doesn’t talk about very much

….. certain to put visions of sugarplums, or something, dancing in the young tykes heads.

Family memories. Good times….

And here are ten-ish random songs from Lil Tom, the iPod:

The Frail – NIN
Red Tide – Neko Case
The Summer of ’91 – And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
Stark Pretty – For Squirrels
I’m Gonna Be My King – Infectious Grooves
Dead Souls – Joy Division
Hurricane – Bob Dylan
Redondo Beach – Patti Smith
The Bitterest Pill (I Ever Had To Swallow) – The Jam
Road To Hell – Sleigh Bells
and a gift from Mitt Romney for you people: Pigs In Zen – Janes Addiction

Now some Pizzicato Five because …. Maki Nomiya.

And, since I’m dumping stuff here, I want to express my extreme disappointment with Michael Chabon’s Telegraph Avenue which is a big show-offy self indulgent hot mess. Gah. It was as if Tom Wolfe rewrote Jonathan Lethem’s Fortress of Solitude and then moved it from Brooklyn to Oakland. I’m a huge Chabon fan, but Jesus Christ With A Library Card, what a fucking chore that was to get through. On the other hand I  highly recommend Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain who says more in one paragraph than Chabon  managed to limn in TA’s now  famous twelve-page sentence. Also, too, Mrs TBogg gives a big thumbs up for Jess Walter’s Beautiful Ruins.

Lastly, Charles Pierce has officially dubbed Lindsey Graham: Huckleberry Closetcase. So it is written, so it shall be used…

Discuss whatever in the comments: books, music, television. I don’t care…

Chilly* here today *by SAN DIEGO STANDARDS. Oh, shut up. It’s cold. Also, via the L&T Casey, this.  

Remember this greatest hit from the Daily Caller’s Fail Whale Matt Boyle: And, btw, Dave Weigel and tons and tons of other reporters (including many who work for Buzzfeed) say my style of reporting is brilliant. ‘Genius’ says one of Ben’s reporters to me. So cut the crap, grow up and answer the questions—if you’re [...]

How are you gonna keep them down on the farm once they have been hyp-mo-tized by The Great and Mysterious Obamaton? Well you’re not and Tea Party Genius Chip “Chip” Rogers has got the video that proves that you may have left Possum Squat, West Virginia to become an urban layabout sheeple via the Magic [...]

As you may have heard, there are many citizens of this fair and Godly land of ours who have, after four years of hard concentratin’ and cypherin’, just recently figured out that the President guy is a black Black Man and, HO-lee-shit! “there goes the neighborhood”, and now they want to break up the band just [...]

I have been considerably out of the loop as of late (what with the demands of my running-dog lackey capitalist real life) but I am pleased to see that the media have filled the yawning void that looms before  them following the conclusion of the presidential horse race election by getting all het up over  [...]

Courtesy of the Great and Mysterious billmon: Thanks to GWPDA

Based upon the fact that Tebow has been in on only 60 more offensive snaps this year than my mom has, maybe it’s time to devote the weekly NFL post to someone seeing more on-field action such as the long-snapper for the Browns. Having said that, Tebow is making the kind of sweet side-line QB [...]