This post is part of Minimalist Holidays, a series inspired by the idea that you can enjoy the holidays more when you do less.
Thanksgiving is famous for the meal. But when I was a kid, Thanksgiving was famous for the wait before the meal. It seemed like the grownups fussed over the food and table setting forever before the Big Turkey Reveal.
Sure, you could distract your kids with a few Thanksgiving printables and a box of crayons, but there's a bigger opportunity here. This year, involve your kids in the actual work of Thanksgiving.
When you give kids real, meaningful jobs to do, they become more invested in the celebration -- and the joy -- of Thanksgiving. I believe this is true for any special occasion, and, indeed, at home day-to-day.
Not only will you educate your kids about real-world stuff (how to set a table, how to make Dad's famous sweet potatoes), you'll help them build confidence in their own growing abilities. My daughter feels pretty proud when she sets a beautiful table, knowing she's earned the family's admiration and gratitude.
I'm not saying kids necessarily like doing the work. Few kids do, and that's okay. The payoff is the shared goal, the working together, and (yes) having more hands on the big job of pulling off the Thanksgiving meal. Chances are the cooking, setup and cleanup happen over several days, so they'll have plenty of open time to play with their cousins, watch movies, and sneak spoonfuls of Cool Whip.
In the meantime, give them a job. When dinner is finally served, everyone will feel the pride of having pitched in.
Here are some ideas for kid-sized Thanksgiving jobs. Choose a good fit age- and interest-wise:
Learning to break down a large project into doable chunks is a skill that will serve kids well (think: Science fair, term paper and, oh, life). Sit down with your kid and plan out the menu. Then take it a few steps further:
You'll probably go on more than one shopping run for Thanksgiving supplies -- bring your kid along. He'll learn about comparison shopping, ingredients, and he'll start getting excited about the festivities.
Oh, the cooking. There are a million small and big ways kids can help. Thanksgiving is a great holiday for kids' cooking as so many traditional recipes are simple. Cranberry sauce, for example, or mashed potatoes or pumpkin pie (especially if you use a ready-made crust).
On the Parent Hacks Facebook page, both Brystal and Daria tell me that they volunteer to make the pies every year...specifically because the kids can practically make them by themselves.
Decorating doesn't feel like a job, especially for kids. If you've got crafty or aesthetically-interested kids, put them to work making the table look pretty. Decoration can be as simple as construction paper placemats in Fall colors, colorful leaves/twigs/berries from the yard, and a few tea light candles.
Let the kids do the actual table setting, too. If the job is too big, just have them fold the napkins or set out the silverware...anything to get them involved.
Some more ideas:
Being a gracious host (even to your extended family) is a skill kids need to learn. Give them an informal script to follow if necessary.
What goes down (the hatch) must be cleaned up. I'm not suggesting hard labor in the kitchen, but I do think kids need to be responsible for clearing their dishes and helping with the cleanup. (Motivation spin: the sooner the table is clean, the quicker the dessert comes out.)
Older kids, especially, can be expected to take a shift in the kitchen, especially when it's framed as respectfully giving older family members a break.
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What do you think? Is involving kids in Thanksgiving preparation a good idea...or should we just let them play?
Which kid-friendly jobs do you delegate during Thanksgiving?
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Between now and the end of the year, Christine Koh and I will share ideas for simplifying the holidays so you can focus on whatโs important: enjoying the season with your family.
Visit the Minimalist Holidays page for links to the entire series.
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Amy found that terry washclothes are more practical than regular cloth napkins (good for wiping faces, tables, spills...). She's even come up with an attractive way to store them within easy reach.
Read the full post at Raising Arrows: Large Family Napkins
Related (for families with younger kids): Baby washcloths as "green" mealtime napkins
More: Hacks for mealtime
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How do I get my three year old to stop saying "poopy" to everyone all the time?
Isn't that a question we've all asked ourselves?
Toddlers and preschoolers are just beginning to embrace and experiment with the power of language. Bathroom-related humor gets a reliably big reaction.
It may be crass, but let's be honest -- it's funny! The scene in Bridesmaids that got the biggest laughs involved ladies pooping in sinks. Walter the Farting Dog and Captain Underpants are popular with practically every kid. That toilet coffee mug? #1 bestseller in the mug category at Amazon.
Which is not to say your kid should walk around saying "poopy" all day. But I think the first step is to acknowledge the humor (especially when all of his/her friends are giggling uncontrollably, reinforcing the situation).
The next step is to briefly explain why potty humor needs to stop, but with as little reaction as possible (because the reaction is the reinforcer). Say something like, "Ha, ha, Aidan. I know you're joking, and 'poopy' can be pretty funny. But we don't make potty jokes because it's not polite."
[I don't call it "potty talk" because two- and three year-olds have to talk about the potty all the time. My intent is to distinguish talking about bathroom-related stuff (which is fine) from crass joking (which isn't).]
After that, be quick, decisive, but low-reaction with your followup ("No potty jokes, remember?"), and add a mild consequence if necessary ("Oh, well. We have to leave now because your potty jokes aren't polite."). Eventually the bathroom humor will fade.
Different strategies for different kids, of course, but it worked for me.
Parenthackers, what worked for you? How did you handle the toddler/preschooler poop-joke phase?
If you've searched Parent Hacks in vain looking for a solution to your parenting problem, email hacks@parenthacks.com with the subject line I NEED ADVICE. We often post community members' questions. Perhaps we can offer some wisdom. At the very least we can commiserate.
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Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More by Doing Less, with coauthor Christine Koh, will be available in bookstores and online March 2013.
I gotta say: I AM SO PROUD OF THIS BOOK, and I hope you will be too. You helped inspire it. Find out more (and sign up for email updates) at the Minimalist Parenting website →
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