Does Your Cat Own You?
See how many yes answers apply to you.
- Do you select your friends based on
how well your cats like them?
- Does your desire to collect cats
intensify during times of stress?
- Do you buy more than 50 pounds of
cat litter a month?
- Do you think it's cute when your cat
swings on your drapes or licks your
butter?
- Do you admit to non-cat owners how
many cats you really have?
- Do you sleep in the same position
all night because it annoys your cats
when you move?
- Do you kiss your cat on the
whiskers?
- Do you feed your cat tidbits from
the table with your fork?
- Does your cat sleep on your head?
Do you like it?
- Do you have more than four opened
but rejected cans of cat food in the
refrigerator?
- Do you watch bad TV because the cat
is sleeping on the remote?
- Will you stand at the open door
indefinitely in the freezing rain while
your cat sniffs the door, deciding
whether to go out or come in?
- Would you rather spend a night at
home with your cat than go out on a bad
date?
- Do you put off making the bed until
the cat gets up and decides to have some
animal fun?
- Do you give your cat presents and a
stocking at Christmas?
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
What's green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it!
How does a frog feel when he has a broken
leg?
Unhoppy.
What happens when you mix a frog with a
bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
What happened to the frog's car when his
parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
What do you call a frog that crosses the
road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the
road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
What's green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill
What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the
chicken.
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a
nap in the corner.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that
nap and feels much better.
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
What does a frog say when it sees something'
great?
Toadly awesome!
What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
What do you call a frog with legs?
Dinner.
What did one frog say to another?
You're such a WART!
Why did the frog croak?
Because he ate a poisonous fly!
What is a frog's favorite game?
Croaket
What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak
Why did the frog go to the hospital?
He needed a "hopperation" !
What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
The one who drinks Canada Dry!
What's red and green and goes 175 miles
an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!
What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."
What has more lives that a cat?
A frog that goes croak every night.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a
gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Why are frogs such liars?
Because they are amFIBians
How can you tell a frog doesn't have ears?
They don't move when a car is coming toward
them.
What did the frog do after it heard a
funny joke?
It started to croak up!
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing
frog jokes!
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