Idea Province

I have more ideas than I'll ever use: ideas for movies, inventions, utopias, T-shirts, businesses, and more. I could hoard them, but what would be the point? If you have ideas that you're squandering, send them to me - Rhys Southan - at mrsouth (-at-) gmail (-dot-) com. I'll post them for the world to take... if the world has any use for them.

Shower Joke for a Stand-Up Routine (Lewdness Optional)

I had this idea while taking a hot shower, instead of my usual cold one. For convenience, I’ve already translated it into stand-up speak, even including the gratuitous salty language. On its own, the joke isn’t much, but it might be a good start to a longer routine about hygiene.

“I take cold showers. Ya know why? I just like hot showers too damn much. With cold showers, you just wanna get the fuck out. When I’m taking a hot shower, I keep coming up with excuses to stay in longer. ‘I know my anus isn’t going to get any cleaner. But am I absolutely certain that I washed my scrotum as effectively as I could?’ I don’t use Tilex. I used Tilax. I encourage all that mold and mildew to grow. That way I can ‘accidentally’ lean into that scummy wall, and maybe even wipe my whole body against it a few times, just so I have to start my shower all over.”

3 years ago

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