CHANFLES!

North East Los Angeles is definitely on the road to regrettable gentrification,  as richer people start to buy up the places poorer people didn’t even think were worth owning. Crappy homes bought by shitty people. What will become of the neighborhood? Take a guess. The most astounding part of this process of displacing the poor is the delusions of all parties involved. Those with money invest in “up and coming” areas (barf!) with the hopes that they can flip their investment and cash out. Mostly they do succeed. And the poor think that the arrival of fancy shops somehow means they will be miraculously included into that world and be able to enjoy some luxuries in their transformed neighborhood. They tend to get priced out of the hood before the conveniently located Starbucks or Yogurtland they so desperately want actually opens.

The delusions, expectations, and realities do not match up. I laugh the most when I hear that people want nice things locally, that the community is ready to support fancy shops in non-fancy neighborhoods. According to the internet, your “upscale” store concept will always be a success, and locals will flock to it because they want nice things in a community rampant with poverty. It rarely pans out.

I had been planning to write a long post at some point of all the failed local businesses that tried to cater to the fancy lads, but I keep pushing it further back. Maybe I will just start from now and mention the latest failures, the store closures most boosters try to ignore. Even though I did appreciate Figueroa Produce and bought stuff from there regularly, I knew it was going to come to an end eventually.

And it has. The promise of support that locals claimed would materialize for this grocery store seem to have been false. The internet lies again.

Everything means something. Nothing means anything. People like to ascribe significance to mundane happenings or to belittle significant acts as irrelevant. All the time. It is a human habit.

Having vanquished the ghosts of my Catholic upbringing I can now see signs as I want to see them and parse them as best suits my needs. It’s a better way to live.

But not all is good. Take this photo above, it was some sort of mini or model plane, drone-like, flying over El Centro. Shit freaked me out. Soon we will find out the sinister plans of these silent lil’ planes.

I saw more signs all week, click ahead if you’d like to see me read the tea leaves.

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Flaunting their wealth in front of their fancy new high school…

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Welcome to the New Downtown Los Angeles!

Have you heard the good news?

Some darted into discount clothing and electronics stores. Others waited to catch a bus.

Then there was the crowd that five years ago wasn’t here. A group of stylish 20-somethings were having a bite at Umamicatessen. Just up the street, the Los Angeles Brewing Company had a batch of office workers gathered at the bar for happy hour. Some well-dressed diners were beginning to trickle in to Figaro, a massive new French restaurant near Sixth Street.

Are you one of the average working class people that works, lives, or visits Downtown Los Angeles on a regular basis? Well you can fuck off now cuz nobody wants you here. The heart of this grand metropolis is getting a spit shine, picking up the trash, kicking out the poor, and hosing down the piss to make room for the new “creative class” that will miraculously revitalize our city (whatever that means) with their coffee consumption, penchant for expensive food, and fascination for lil’ doggies. We have decided to swap out the human piss and shit that comes from institutional neglect for the much more agreeable excrement of trophy dogs. It will be lovely!

Maybe we can build the world’s largest communal toilet, a much needed service in downtown, next to the proposed football stadium just to balance things out?

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Men not amused by this guy with a camera.

It took me over a month. But here it is, my roundup of our very own LH Xmas Parade. I think I did a crappier job than my usual crappy standards. Still, in some sense, by which I mean the ratio of price paid to product consumed, I think this is still possibly the best value for your parade coverage dollar.  Maybe.

Click here to find out!!!

My stay overnight in La Jolla was dark and miserable as it turns out to be a mostly ugly suburb where the terrain is designed for autos and you walk fearfully on unlit sidewalks hoping you don’t get hit by the river of cars. But in the light of the morning we headed over to the cove area and saw some birds and seals which redeemed this previously damned town. A little bit later we happened on this decent place for a meal that helped to further improve the mood.

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