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Rules of Procedure

Adopted September 22, 2011
Approved September 23, 2011
Effective September 23, 2011
Amended January 14, 2012
Amendments Effective January 15, 2012

WHEREAS it is deemed only necessary and appropriate for a court of justice to be guided by inscribed and predetermined principles,

And WHEREAS it is determined that this court, hereafter denominated the Supreme Cart, remains yet without such guiding principles,

And WHEREAS Section 3 of the Judiciary Act of 2011 (Cartiorari Act), as enacted by the Congress of the United States assembled, charges this court with the right and honorable task of the “formulation of rules that shall govern its procedure, which, before taking effect, shall be certified and transmitted forthwith to the Congress for a vote thereon,”

BE IT HEREBY proclaimed that the following shall serve as those rules required of us by the strictures of statute and justice:

Part 1. The Court.

Rule 1-1. Nomenclature. This court shall be referred to formally as the Supreme Cart, and informally as the “Cart” or the court.

Rule 1-2. Jurisdiction. The jurisdiction of the Cart shall extend to all mobile gastronomic enterprises situated throughout those parts of (a) the County of Arlington, Virginia, (b) the District of Columbia, and (c) the City of Alexandria, Virginia, which are reasonably proximate to public transportation of a reasonably rapid and efficient character.

Rule 1-3. Composition. The Cart shall at all times be composed of at least one Justice (see Rule 1-4), as well as a Reporter of Decisions (see Rule 1-5).

Rule 1-4. Justices. The Justice(s) shall review petitions (see Part 2), write opinions, and transmit such opinions to the Reporter of Decisions (see Rule 1-5).

Rule 1-5. Reporter of Decisions. The Reporter of Decisions shall publish the final decisions of the Supreme Cart and maintain a reasonably orderly system of citation. The Reporter of Decisions shall also serve as a Justice (see Rule 1-4).
(a) Citation. The Reports shall take the form [Month] Catt. [Decision], so that the first opinion of the third month of publication shall take the form 3 Catt. 1.
(b) Formatting. Except for the aforementioned requirements of Rule 1-5 and Rule 1-5(a) above, the Reporter of Decisions may format the reports of this court as she sees fit.

Part 2. Procedure.

Rule 2-1. Docket. Cases shall arise before the Supreme Cart by either of two methods: (1) sua sponte appearance (see Rule 2-2), or (2) as a result of a properly filed petition for cartiorari (see Rule 2-3).

Rule 2-2. Sua Sponte Appearance. The Cart may, at any time, acting sua sponte, select alimentary establishments within its jurisdiction to be subject to adjudication before the court.
(a) Proclamation. Whenever the Cart shall see fit to proceed sua sponte, it shall so proclaim in a grant of cartiorari identical in form to that required by Rule 2-3 below.
(b) Appeal. No such decision shall be subject to appeal or further review by this or any other tribunal.

Rule 2-3. Petition for Cartiorari. Any member of the public, regardless of residence, citizenship, or proprietorship, may petition the Supreme Cart to grant cartiorari in a particular case by leaving a comment to the page entitled “Petitions for Cartiorari.”
(a) Grant of Cartiorari.
If the court determines that the petitioned-for mobile gastronomic enterprise is within its jurisdiction and is ripe for review, the court shall grant cartiorari to the petitioner.
(b) Denial of Cartiorari.
If the court determines that the petition is not appropriate for review, it shall promptly deny cartiorari to the petitioner.
(c) Appeal. No decision to grant or deny a petition for cartiorari shall be subject to appeal or further review, though the Cart may, in its sole discretion and at any time, revive a petition for cartiorari it has previously denied.

Rule 2-4. Petition for Reconsideration. Any member of the public, regardless of residence, citizenship, or proprietorship, who may believe a decision of the Supreme Cart to have been wrongly reasoned or concluded, may petition the court for reconsideration of its decision by so commenting on the posting containing the relevant and allegedly unsound opinion, including a description of the alleged error.
(a) Grant of Reconsideration. If the court determines that the petition for reconsideration is of some merit so as to reasonably require the further cogitation of the Justices, it shall grant the petitioner the reconsideration she has requested.  
(b) Denial of Reconsideration.
If the court determines that the petition for reconsideration is of little or no merit, is moot, is merely inflammatory or suggests the work of a mere contrarian, or fails to contain the requisite description of the Cart’s alleged error, the court shall deny the petitioner the reconsideration she has requested.
(c) Appeal.
No decision to grant or deny a petition for reconsideration shall be subject to appeal or further review, though the Cart may, in its sole discretion and at any time, revive a petition for reconsideration it has previously denied.

Rule 2-5. Argument of Parties. While these rules make no provision for oral argumentation, and while the dictates of justice preclude ex parte communication between the party or parties and the Justices of the Cart, the representative or proprietor of any subject of any proceeding before the Cart may present her case by so commenting on the relevant grant of cartiorari or grant of reconsideration.

Rule 2-6. Amici Curiae. All other would-be commenters, who feel some urge to opine on any aspect of any proceeding may do so as an amicus (or amica) curiae by so commenting on the relevant grant of cartiorari or grant of reconsideration.

Rule 2-7. General Commenting. General commenting is permitted and encouraged throughout the documents of the Supreme Cart, on any subject reasonably related to the post to which said comment is appended, subject only to the minimal oversight of the officers of this Cart.

Part 3. Supreme Cart Bar.

Rule 3-1. Bar of the Supreme Cart. The Bar of the Supreme Cart is hereby established. The Bar of the Supreme Cart shall be completely voluntary, with membership in said Bar unnecessary for an individual to participate in proceedings before the Cart as an amicus curiae, or to submit petitions for cartiorari to be considered by the Justices of the Cart.

Rule 3-3. Duties of the Board of Bar Examiners. An agency of the Supreme Cart, hereafter denominated the “Board of Bar Examiners,” shall be charged with
(a) determining the qualifications of applicants for admission to the bar of the Supreme Cart, and
(b) licensing those individuals who successfully meet those qualifications for admission to the bar of the Supreme Cart.

Rule 3-2. Requirements of Membership. Admitted members of the Bar of the Supreme Cart must, in order for licensure to continue, satisfy a “continuing legal education” (“CLE”) requirement, to be determined by the Board of Bar Examiners.

Rule 3-4. Composition of the Board of Bar Examiners. The Board of Bar Examiners shall be comprised of the Justices of the Supreme Cart or their delegatees.

Part 4. Openness and Transparency Initiative of 2012.

Rule 4-1. Generally. In the spirit of openness and transparency which must pervade any house of Justice, the Supreme Cart shall encourage lay participation in the workings of the Supreme Cart, through membership in the Bar of the Supreme Cart (see Part 3 of these Rules) and submission of written materials to the Supreme Cart Law Review (“SCLR”) (see Rule 4-2).

Rule 4-2. Supreme Cart Law Review. The Supreme Cart shall establish a Supreme Cart Law Review, by which lay persons may contribute to the scholarship of the Supreme Cart, through submission of comments and articles reasonably related to the purview of the Supreme Cart.

Rule 4-3. Revelation of Identity. Because even openness and transparency must have their limits, this Part shall in no way be construed to require the Justices of the Supreme Cart to reveal their identities.

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