WHO WRITES THIS SHIT?!
Me
I am the guy who writes this shit
here are some facts about myself:
tallest
Age: handsome
Weight: what
Favorite Drink: milk
Favorite Color: also milk
Likes: Myths, myths about myths, mythical myths, milk
Dislikes: birds. who the fuck do they think they are?
they are like pinatas but with no fucking strings
where am i supposed to hang my pinata if it doesn’t have a fucking string?
birds: nature’s answer to fun?
SERIOUSLY
I am not a big fan of any animal that can shit directly into my hair
I guess most animals can do it
but usually they have to like go out of their way to do it
birds? nope
they just fire away
also they make sounds and bring joy to children
I am sick to death of birds
When was the last time a bird made a house for YOU?
HUH?
RIDDLE ME THAT!
I DON’T EVEN HAVE A HOUSE
not to mention bird baths
HELLO BIRDS YOU DONT NEED TO TAKE BATHS YOU ARE FILTHY ANIMALS
HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN WOODPECKERS?
TELL ME that shit isn’t sinister
i saw one of those things drill a hole in a baby’s head
lay a whole bunch of eggs in there
just like that
they’re in league with the trees
they talk to them using morse code
fucking trees man
don’t even get me STARTED on trees
they’re like the icebergs of the land
except like
if your boat hits an iceberg
that is like part of standard operating procedure for boats
whereas if your boat hits a tree
SHIT IS THOROUGHLY OUT OF CONTROL
that makes trees like SIX THOUSAND TIMES WORSE than ice bergs
and one of those fuckers sunk the titanic
you see what I’m getting at here?
basically
fuck birds
37 thoughts on “WHO WRITES THIS SHIT?!”
Hey, thanks for the writing, love it. If I read something of yours out in public, I’d love to know how you’d like to be credited? …I don’t mean read it for payment, just sheer entertainment value?
Just do your thing, man. Read that shit like there is no tomorrow. You can just tell people about the site, and maybe about that sweet dude named Ovid who runs the site.
you.are.so.cute. its killing me fjskla;fjsakl; oh and keep writing you’re amazing and good luck with grad school, you’ll make it through!
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pothead defo
He’d be pretty angry for a pothead
Honestly i think you should write about harry potter its n0t a myth but it’l be fun, if u want the original b00ks just says0.
How can I possibly follow that ^
hey has anyone ever told you
that you remind them of dave Strider from homestuck
OH MY GOSH YES that’s exactly what I thought!
THIRDED
seriously, I just explained this site to a friend by saying “It’s like if Dave Strider decided to pass the time on the meteor by telling the trolls as many human myths as he could.”
I am in complete agreement of this assumption, since first reading your story. Holy shitballs, uncanny as hell.
This is a compliment of course, as Dave Strider’s literary squirreling, like yours, is fresh as pesto, (the fresh kind of pesto, made by real chefs, not that older, yet still pretty tasty jarred pesto.) and twice as slick.
My doctorate is in Old Norse religion. I read your Norse creation story and your rendition of Hymiskvidha, and just about fell off my chair laughing. You’re brilliant! I am rationing further visits to this site to one a day, lest I implode and die from excessive laughter.
Ovid- you are the twenty first century love child of Joseph Campbell and everything that is right, good, and funny about the interwebs. And David Bowie, because I think you are that level of awesome.
hey man I am really laugthing my fucking ass off on this blog but I would like to know more about did Titanic got really sunk by a tree?
yes. it was tragic.
True, but not as tragic as the Hindenburg, when Otarr, the invisible (and quite lonely) Dragon, decided that after years of being bored as shit, “Fuck it, I’m lighting this bitch.” Truly a mournful day.
Awesome. Just when I thought I was going to read facts, I get stabbed in the funny bone. It happens every time I visit this gods-forsaken (Norse, Greek, Egyptian, you name it) site. They don’t want anything as funny as this, apparently. Except maybe Loki… or Hermes. Point is, you manage to be funny, even when writing about how much you hate something I love, congratulations
Birds are Dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs are awesome.
Go fuck yourself.
Gotta say, this logic right here is flawless. I think I respect you just a little bit less now, Ovid.
That’s really only one theory, based mostly on the whole hollow bones thing. It’s like saying that an elephant is the same as a wizard horse because they have the same genetic ancestry. Also most dinosaurs were big enough to lay their loads on the average human skull without any extra effort. So I guess my point is, don’t lose respect for a guy who doesn’t like your shitty relatives, especially when all you share in common is being really fragile and the ability to poop in inconvenient ways?
Hey not to be annoying, but do you have somewhere where you post the myths you retell in case we wanted to read them? By the way you’re awesome. You seriously make me laugh every time.
Oh you mean like the originals? I’m trying to get better about linking them in the posts where they’re cited, but for now that’s all there is.
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I miss the icon of the guy who will do unspeakable things for money. he was cute and seeing him cheered me up. if you don’t want to bring him back that’s fine but I miss him.
you, my friend, are fucking awesome. have you rewritten any other myths?
Dude, you seriously need some Irish myths. You are seriously missing out on them. There’s lots of crazy shit in there. Otherwise, I love your current work. It’s awesome and has made my day.
You should look up Lithuanian Pagan mythology or fairytales.
Especially the fairytales.
They’re kind of ridiculous.
bad languege!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeeeaaaaahhh… you really helped your point there.
前スレの工房ですが、プロ仕様の透明カバーや、