Small keypad, old hands

Date Night

• Mom: I need chocolate
• Me: Rough day?
• Mom: (I have a date with the father of my children this evening.)
• Me: Where are y’all going?
• Mom: Don’t know.
• Mom: Want to join us?
• Mom: It couldn’t get worse.
• Mom: Don’t tell him I said that.
• Mom: That would make him sad.

Wait… What?

• Me:  How’s your trip going?
• Mom:  My arthritis is acting up and I was exposed to TB in Germany what is Instagram?

Updates by Mom

• MOM: toenail fell off. lost within the laundry
• (3 minutes later)
• MOM: Just stepped on it. ouch.
• (5 minutes later)
• MOM: Fed it to the dog so I won’t worry about it anymore.
• MOM: pick up muffins?

Poor “Dave”

• Mom: Dad is on the phone with comcast customer support. It’s not going to go well with “Dave” in Mumbai

Zombie Makeup

• Me: k I’m almost done with my zombie makeup for my project presentation today
• Mom: zombie?
• Me: Yeah the one on exponential growth. dressing up was part of the project
• Mon: oh. I forgot to tell you that you have an orthodontist appointment this morning.
• Me: …
• Me: and you didn’t think to mention this earlier…?

Missed Call

• (3: 23 am)
• ME: You just called me…?
• MOM: SORRY phone just fell into the trashcan

Pansies

• MOM: Just thought I would tell u good night.   Your dad worked in yard today got his panties in flower bed looks nice.   He will work on yours tomorrow.   Love yo