My Story

I am a neglected child.

My favorite thing used to be to snuggle or play with my owners. They used to sit on the floor and watch me play. They brought me toys. They cleaned my litterbox every week.

I was livin’ it up, man.

That’s no longer the case.

It all started the day I noticed my owner’s belly growing insanely huge, and I started thinking, “What the heck is going on here??”  I’m not a very big cat, but even I didn’t fit on her lap anymore.

And then one day, they left up and me in the middle of the night. They were gone for two whole days. I started to miss them, so I left a hairball on the front doormat as a welcome home present for when they got back.

Finally, they came back, and brought IT home with them. She was kinda cute, but man, could she belt one out. The little thing wailed like a screaming banshee for the first four months of her life, and it literally ate up all of their time.

I was no longer queen of my own castle.

As a side note, they were not even happy with the present I left them, despite my repeated attempts to yack up the best hairball ever. Ungrateful owners… what can you do?

It’s all been all downhill from there.

Some random tidbits about me:

• Likes:
  • Sleeping.
  • Cuddling.
  • Blowing chunks in sneaky places around the house.  Then I sit back and see how long it takes for my owner to find them.  It’s a fun game.
  • Pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.  Actually, that’s not true.  I hate rain.  Pina coladas I like.
• Dislikes:
  • IT. Although, she’s growing on me. As soon as she stops trying to pull my tail, we might even be friends some day.
• Favorite Activity:
  • Licking my butt. Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
• Favorite time of day:
  • When THEY get dropped off at daycare, and my owner sits down in the office to work. Her belly has finally returned to snuggling size, so the lap is once again mine.
    

    Some days, this is the only way to get attention.

  

  And other days, I just need a beer. Can you blame me?