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spacer Mummification: Materials

July 11th, 2011

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Mummification is a specialized form of bondage and sensory deprivation which involves wrapping the subject in some material or combination of materials. Mummification can be either quite severe or relatively gentle and comfortable, depending on the materials and techniques used. Regardless of severity, it tends to be one of the more involved “scenes,” as a full body wrap takes quite a long time to accomplish. But for those who enjoy it, it’s definitely worth the time and effort! Most people associate mummification with full body wraps, but the same techniques can be used on isolated body parts. For example, an electrical tape “head wrap” serves as an interesting and potentially severe hood, while arm or leg wraps can quickly immobilize a submissive.

The general idea is simple: you’re going to make a mummy, rather like what you remember from those old black-and-white horror movies. This is done by wrapping material around the submissive’s body. How you go about it will depend on your goals. For a gentle, comfortable wrap, you could use elastic bandages. If you want this to be more about bondage and helplessness, use duct tape over pallet wrap, wrapping the legs together and the arms against the body. For sensory deprivation, wrap each limb separately before doing an over-wrap… and you might consider inserting foam ear plugs before you wrap the head and cut off the mummy’s eyesight.

Some materials are fairly common in mummification, and they can be broken down into a few broad classes:

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spacer Punishment – Must It Always Be So Physical?

June 16th, 2011

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Few topics in the BDSM world generate as much debate as does the issue of punishment. Whatever form it takes, it is an integral part of every D/s relationship, and is the source of much misunderstanding.

It’s important to understand one fundamental thing about punishment. By it’s nature, it is something that is not enjoyable. It is unwelcome, to be avoided, and acts as negative motivation (“I’ll not do this because if I do, something I don’t like will happen to me.”) Many novices confuse “punishment” for something that is erotic and enjoyable: a spanking, a flogging – something desirable. But it is not. Punishment is not play. Punishment is meant for one reason only: to alter behavior. It is a useful and necessary tool, and exists in some form in every close relationship we have. With it, dominants can teach submissives how to behave and help submissives modify their behavior to better please.

There is only one fundamental offense: displeasing the dominant. Failing to do so or intentionally displeasing the dominant is grounds for punishment, and it is the dominant alone who makes the decision as to whether or not the submissive has been pleasing. Punishment can take many forms – from a disapproving look to a beating – and is limited only by your imagination and how well you know your submissive.

Is there too much corporal punishment in the scene? It is the easy way out for many dominants. Often it is a reaction, rather than something that is considered. It takes much more effort to come up with a non-physical method of correction. Many of us were brought up with corporal punishment, learning that misbehavior should lead to physical pain. Those social influences can be very powerful. In the long run, however, physical punishment is usually the least effective way to alter behavior.

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spacer How To Spot A Dominant

May 20th, 2011

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There is no way to spot a Dominant at ten paces. Unfortunately many submissives, and particularly novices, are impressed by these superficial things, making it easy for Dominant fakers. Anyone can learn to swing a flogger, talk in BDSMspeak, and wear 13 pounds of leather; but these do not a Dominant make.

If you want a quality partner you’ll have to take some time and get to know them. In some ways, choosing a good Dominant is similar choosing a good partner in general. In others it’s quite different because of the unique style of our relationships. They key difference is that when we go into subspace, we make ourselves vulnerable in ways that we may never do with a vanilla partner. This makes the D/s relationship far riskier and we must take extra care when choosing partners. Here are some things to look for, to avoid, and to ignore in your search for a quality Dominant.

A Dominant Is…

Respect

A quality Dominant shows respect to submissives, and to everyone. He or she asks questions about your life, listens to the answers, and doesn’t put you down.

Balance

A quality Dominant keeps a balance between their vanilla and BDSM lives. They can talk about their family, pets, other things that have nothing to do with BDSM. They have a sense of humor about the lifestyle, and don’t take themselves too seriously. Avoid Dominants with a chip on their shoulder, or who cannot hold a job or keep friends. Especially avoid people who complain about their ex partners or about everyone else in the scene. One day you will be the ex and they will be bitching about you.

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spacer Anal Sex Play

April 30th, 2011

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Anal sex (or anal intercourse) include sexual acts involving the anus, including pegging, anal–oral sex, fingering, object insertion, insertion of the penis into the anus of a sexual partner. Anal sex has been around for as long as sex itself. The anus was probably the second body cavity investigated by Neanderthal Man or maybe the first depending on the sexuality of the Neanderthal. The first of all Dominants. Take what he wanted when he wanted. Master of his domain. So, we are at a loss as to when it became a perversion or taboo, something dirty or demeaning, humiliating or forbidden. When the term “Stick it up your arse” became a derogatory remark rather than a term of endearment. Who knows these things?

Anal sex is not exclusively and solely something experienced by gay men; it is very much a part of lovemaking between heterosexual couples. Men and women of all walks of life enjoy anal sex as an alternative to vaginal lovemaking. It’s not for everyone, that must be clearly understood from the outset, but for some anal sex has become an added spice to their erotic play. Yet another sexual experience to be shared between two people. Be it a taboo one at that.

The biggest hurdle some people have with anal sex is one small four letter word “shit”. “Eat shit and die mother fucker”. Yet another phrase we have all heard. “Shit” however actually plays a very small part and can be almost totally controlled although the bacteria cannot be. So the next hurdle would be the preconceived notion that: “It is dirty”. Well probably not anymore than having sex during a woman’s period. Or screwing for two weeks and not washing. Which ever way you look at it we are conditioned from birth against anal play. To understand some of the rhetoric expounded against the act of anal sex we must first look at where it has come from. Religion? Community Standards? Historical Records? Probably all of these things and more.
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