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Reserve your own personal copy of Whim Quarterly. While youโ€™re at it, consider buying a few more for friends, neighbors, pets, your heirs, etc. Click the “Buy Now” link below and the issue will be mailed to you posthaste.

Issue #4.5: The Melancholic Issue

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$8US + $2 S&H

Issue contents…
At long last, Whimpleton K. Junglefowl Industries is proud to present the first ever double-issue of Whim. It’s twice the content and half the laughs, all for a modest 60% markup on the regular cover price. Order today and your copy will be packaged in a personalized, heirloom-quality manila envelope and hand-delivered to your mailbox by an employee of the United States Postal Service for a nominal shipping and handling fee. Still not convinced this is the deal of a lifetime? Check out what’s inside:

  • New Facebook Hand Gestures
  • Six Reasons I Am Not Concerned About the Growing Swarm of Bees Outside the Window
  • Your Guide to the New Reality of Guns in Bars
  • Asimov’s Unabridged Laws of Robotics
  • Ten Misconceptions About Billings, Montana Cleared Up by the Town of Billings, Montana
  • Whim’s Writers Pick Their Favorite Mid-Season Replacement Shows
  • Erotic Baking’s New Wave: Whim Profiles the 5 Best Erotic Bakers You’ve Never Heard of
  • The Worst Guitarists of All-Time
  • Blood Red Tumbleweeds on the Moon: A Poorly Researched Story of the West
  • Frank Norris Facts
  • Lesser-Known Urban Legends
  • Rare and Unusual Coins
  • Matt Passet’s Knowledge Knuggets
  • An 8-Page Insert by Sgt. Facepuncher, M.D.
  • And as always… A FREE TOY INSIDE!

Plus much, much more!

Issue #3: The Choleric Issue – SOLD OUT

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Issue contents…
How does issue #3 of Whim compare to other famous thirds? Is it hours of fun like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? Terrible like The Godfather Part III? Or Ewok-filled like Return of the Jedi? The only way to find out is to buy a copy. Or two. Preferably two. Contents include:

  • A Letter to New Residents of Terre Haute
  • 13 Things Captain Picard Does While High
  • New Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements
  • Shouts & Berbers: A Carpet Column
  • Lesser-Known Follies of Lincoln’s Cabinet
  • Secret Societies: Which One Is Right For You?
  • Point/Counterpoint: What Is the Capital of Slovakia?
  • Important Things to Know About the Orlando Airport Quality Inn
  • Body Hair Power Rankings
  • The Confessions of Lionel Q. Murphy, Inventor of the Murphy Bed
  • One Man’s Quest for the World’s Most Dangerous Game
  • Classifieds from The Boston Bulletin, the Only Newspaper to Survive the Apocalypse
  • Sgt. Facepuncher, M.D. on Why Blowguns Are Decent Weapons for Killing
  • Receipts from Nightmares
  • And as always… A FREE TOY INSIDE!

Plus more!

Issue #2: The Sanguine Issue

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$5US + $2 S&H

Issue contents…
Whim Quarterly Issue 2 contains 36 pages of high-quality, text and paper based comedy, perfect for reading, for swatting insects, for the decoration of a coffee table or even as kindling for fire. Between the covers you will find:

  • Fothergill’s Miscellany
  • “Gaussbombs”
  • A Confusing Discussion About Dessert Preferences on a Loud F Train
  • Back End Web Programmer Familiar with Magento
  • Price Check in Aisle 666
  • To Whom It May Concern
  • America’s 50 Least Desirable Suburbs
  • Here’s to You… Mesa
  • 1792 Plan of Washington by Architect Charles Pierre L’Enfantile
  • Re-Imaginings of Classic Novels Inspired by Typos
  • The Great Altini
  • Pretentious Poetry with Emoticons
  • Obituary: Luigi Gabagoozzini, Beloved Italian Stereotype, Dies at 87
  • FREE TOY INSIDE!
  • 1The Sad, Tragic, and Unenviable Lure of Making the World’s Ultimate Automobile (In 7 Easy Chapters, Set to Music)
  • A Few Problems I Have with My Roommate, Who Happens to be a Penguin
  • Lost Dance Crazes of the 1920s
  • A Running Log of the Premiere Episode of the 7th Season of NCIS (A Show I Have Never Before Seen)
  • Our Future: Fashion Spread
  • Houdini’s Secret Diary
  • Notable Dates Among FDR’s First 100 Days In Office
  • 12 or 13 Things Not To Hold IN One Hand While Holding A Baby in the Other Hand
  • The Misanthropic School of Advertising
  • On the Economies of Magical Lands

Plus more!

Issue #1: The Phlegmatic Issue

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$4US + $2 S&H

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