Brokelyn

Then there's this problem.

Press a button and it’s done. Single-serve coffee machines are delicious, easy, and a sure sign of your upward mobility. But The New York Times is blowing the foil lid off the terrible truth: those little plastic cups factor out to about $50 or more per pound. Apparently, single-serve coffee is one more devil spawn of Starbucks. The Times writes:

“Americans under the age of 40 are thinking about coffee pricing in cups,” said Ric Rhinehart, executive director of the Specialty Coffee Association of America. “If you asked my mother how much coffee cost, she would have told you that the red can was $5.25 a pound and the blue can was $4.25. If you ask people in their 20s and 30s, they’ll say coffee is $1.75 to $3.75 a cup.”

Of course, it follows that anyone charging $175 for a coffee maker will probably rip you off on the coffee itself, especially when they pack it in tiny, excessively wrapped, proprietary containers. Consider it the Gillette safety razor of coffee. Here’s the Times’ full story.

The best for your buck? Photo via Yelp.

The best dollar slice in all of New York City is Percy’s Pizza at 190 Bleecker St. in the Village, or so says the NY Post, who lauds it as a “tasty thin slice that crackles when you bite into it … Not too salty, not too greasy, it’s lightly sauced and not overwhelmed with cheese or sugar.” Of note, before going super cheap-o in December, the space was an outpost of South Brooklyn Pizza, which charged a ludicrous $4 a slice (I don’t care how good your damn tomatoes are), but it didn’t catch on amid the nabe’s other cheap eateries. The Post also reveals the ingredients to make the average eight-slice pizza cost a mere $4, so Percy’s is banking just 50 cents a slice. What say you, Brokesters? Is it worth a trip into the city? Do you have a favorite $1 slice in Brooklyn? It’s hard to beat those beer-and-a-whole-pizza deals. [via the skint]

Oh... yes! Photo courtesy of Frankie's Spuntino.

There’s a giveaway at Frankies Spuntino, but sadly, it isn’t a 7-course “Foodie’s Dream Threesome” with messieurs Castronovo and Falcinelli. The Carroll Gardens Patch reports that Sweet ‘N’ Low (based in the Navy Yards) is giving away dinner for eight to a Brooklyn couple married for an increment of five years (heh?) with the best love story. From the Patch:

Couples who will have been married for 5, 15, 25… (you get the idea) years in 2012 are asked to submit their love story in 300 words or less with a photograph to:

Franklin Park. All photos by Emily Paup.

If you live within two subway stops of Tom’s Diner, you may have gotten into a long, whiskey-breathed argument about where Prospect Heights actually is. At the very least, you’ve likely cringed at the phrase “ProCro.” Smartphone lookups only blur the boundaries—Google Maps includes the Barclay’s Center in the postage stamp-sized area, and an old NY Magazine article suggests that that a block-wide sliver on Prospect Park west is part of the neighborhood. I object vehemently to both assertions, and I’m not even drunk right now. One thing’s for certain: there are some really solid happy hours in the region arguably known as Prospect Heights. Here’s a list of places where you can get tipsy and then try to figure out where the hell you are.

Girl Scout taste-alikes at Family Dollar, photo by Tom Sullivan.

If you love Girl Scouts as much as this ex-fat kid, you know that nothing quite beats the anticipation of that first bite of Thin Mints or Samoas, fueled in part by their only-once-a-year availability/hairy-nosed wombat level of rarity in our fair borough. (As of this writing, they go on sale exactly 27 days from now, according to this cookie countdown stopwatch.)

Enter Family Dollar. A few days ago, an Instagram photo of several boxes of cookies from everyone’s favorite discount store chain went around Twitter (Thank you @KateHarding.) While not legit Girl Scout cookies per se, the cookies on the box looked an awful lot like the Tagalongs, Thin Mints, and Samoas that I have an inappropriate obsession with/hoard shamelessly in my kitchen pantry/stress eat on a regular basis.

Do you have any of that noppy crunch?

Soon, the days when you could justify buying that big 2-liter bottle just marked “SODA” that was like $2 cheaper than Pepsi will be gone. Yes, even the lowly generic brands many of us rely on to squeak through under budget at the grocery store are getting pricier. Consumerist points us to this WSJ story that shows stores have caught on to us crafty consumers and are raising the prices of private-label goods: 5.3 percent on nonperishables and a huge 12 percent for perishables. Meanwhile, name-brand prices have only gone up 1.9 percent and 8 percent respectively. They still cost 29 percent more than the store-brand stuff on average, but the gap is closing in many areas: Target’s Archer Farms almonds cost  37 cents per ounce, a penny more than Planter’s version, for instance.

The nut (sorry) of the issue here is that you, the consumer, have become loyal to your Archer Farms,  365 Everyday Value or Key Food brand mustard, and the stores think you should pay for your loyalty. So tell us: do you have a favorite generic brand? And will rising prices make you go back to the big boys?

Ah the finer things.

Whether it’s actually a thing that more women have discovered whiskey lately or just one of those pseudo-trend stories, we’ll let you decide. But let it be known, ladies, that ordering a glass of whiskey totally works for you, so you should keep doing it. On that note, All you dudes and ladies who love a taste of whiskey, prepare for an awesome pre-V day outing: New Greenpoint gallery/shop The One Well is hosing a whiskey and chocolate tasting on Thursday, and it’s free! From 6-8pm, sample drinks from Jonathan Wingo from The Whiskey Shop and chocolates from Danielle Lawrence of Raaka Chocolate. The shop will be offering package pricing on vintage glasses with the purchase of a bottle of whiskey, too.

The One Well,  165 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint. 

Ghenet means "Yes, I'll sleep with you but not until you wash your hands" in Ethiopian. Photo by Serious Eats.

Dear Serious Eats web site, we hate slideshows, unless they’re celebrity plastic surgery photos. Love, Brokelyn.
Formatting quibbles aside, check out Serious Eats’ list of 10 modestly priced Valentine’s Day restaurants, which include three in Brooklyn (Olea, Cafe Moto and the “sensually” utensil-free Ghenet). There’s also one in Staten Island (the ferry’s romantic, even if mac and cheese isn’t.) Down at Broketown HQ, we’ve been debating the merits of acknowledging Valentine’s Day at all, with single dudes some of us staunchly opposed and married breeders others looking for any excuse to break out the bubbly and cupid-festooned Joe Boxers… ROAR! Whatever your plans (we’re actually curious, so feel free to pipe in), these places seem worth a visit at some point. Or are you single dudes down on restaurants altogether these days? [via Serious Eats]

If this game isn't the bane of your existence like it is for Dave, check out some of these events.

Real talk: I will be avoiding bars on Super Bowl Sunday this year because I hate both teams and there’s a guarantee I would get beat to death by at least one, if not both, fanbases. You, however, might have a rooting interest besides “the field imploding like in the new Batman trailer,” but no TV and no interest in watching a glitchy Internet broadcast. Lucky for you, Brooklyn is home to many bars that off affordable ways to cater to your readiness for some football, from free wing buffets to cheap drinks to vegan parties to a super mustache bash. 

Bed-Stuy, drink or die. Photo by Clay Williams.

Bed-Stuy is on the rise and for the most part it seems to mostly be a good thing (depending on who you talk to) as cool new restaurants and bars get added to the nabe made famous by Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. But don’t take my word for it: This Saturday, our friend and photographer-about-town Clay Williams and friends are hosting a bar crawl through the Stuy: for $25, you get a free drink at each of four bars, small appetizers, swag from Yelp and a 2012 edition of the Not For Tourists Brooklyn guidebook, which sounds like more than $25 worth of stuff. You can buy tickets online through midnight Friday. See the full list of bars below.