Brokelyn

You too can make a taco book! Via acherryontop.com

One problem with Brooklyn is that there just isn’t anywhere to learn things. Fortunately, Brooklyn Skillshare and BIG THINGS, a Bay Area arts and culture blog, are joining forces for BIG CITY: Brooklyn, an afternoon of workshops to learn you a thing or two. If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to make a confetti egg (or what one is), bookmaking or how to properly hold a Japanese tea ceremony, experts will be there to share their knowledge. If you think learning things is for nerds, you can still show up to browse the pop up art shop featuring local artists. It all goes down on Saturday from 10:30am to 3:30pm at LaunchPad, 731 Franklin Ave. There’s a $5 requested donation, and while they say no one will be turned away, come on. Don’t be a cheapskate.

Get on the cute bus. Via Flickr's Daniel Roode.

Valentine’s Day is just like any other day, except that everyone’s heart gets a whole lot cuter! No matter if you’re single or coupled up, the most important thing to remember is to keep it cute the whole day long! Lucky for you, Brooklyn is one of the cutest towns around, and Brokelyn’s made you a list of all kinds of cute things to do on Valentine’s Day, ya lil’ cutie.

You should choo-choo-choose to go to this!

If all the rest of these ideas for taking your sweetie out/finding someone to at least Band Aid over your shattered heart for V-Day have failed you, we’ve got one more big chance: our friends at the skint are presenting this Sunday’s special Tell Your Friends (With Benefits) Valentine’s Day show at the Bell House, and we have a pair of tickets to give away! The show is hosted by Liam McEneaney, and features Wyatt Cenac of The Daily Show, Hari Kondabolu (Jimmy Kimmel Live, Comedy Central Presents) and Ashok Kondabolu (of Das Racist), Jessi Klein (Best week Ever, Saturday Night Live) and Victor Varnado (writer for Jimmy Kimmel and Conan O’Brien), with musical guests Bridget & The Squares. Plus, the first 100 people get a free Robicelli’s cupcake!

So funny you'll get preggo.

If you’re finding the weekend before this V-day a little stressful to plan, you might consider the fertile land of Hank’s Saloon for the free and awesome Let’s Get Pregnant With Comedy monthly show this Sunday. Bring your significant other, someone you’re looking to impress, or show up stag with the hopes of pulling the goalie for some lucky bystander, all to the romantic soundtrack of poop and fart jokes! The night will feature Malcom Wilford, Julia Stratmann, Jessica Darakjian, Daryl Ellerbe, Carlen Altman and yours truly. Also on tap is a special screening of Brokelyn’s hit video Brokelandia, which is way better to watch outside of a cubicle, and without headphones plugged into your computer. And for those of you looking to impress your current/sitting-at-the-bar-now-but-definitely-future sweetheart, you can compete for a $20 tab by telling your own joke on stage. That’ll buy a whole bunch of couple-tinis (I think that’s a PBR and a shot of Jack at Hank’s).

8pm Sunday, Hank’s Saloon, 46 Third Ave., Boerum Hill.

Forever alone? Not this year. Photo via one of the MOST DEPRESSING STORIES OF ALL TIME in The Daily Mail.

Being a single on Valentine’s Day I imagine is a lot like being a Jew on Christmas: people around you are caught up in the hoopla of corporation-fueled gifting while the rest of us slog along, pretending we’re perfectly happy not celebrating. And then you have to upload post after post about it on the blog you work for, because allegedly everyone is looking for things to do on V Day, because, even though you’re a happy couple, I STILL HAVE TO COME UP WITH DATE IDEAS FOR YOU. Well, nuts to that: maybe V Day is hard to ignore, but this is still Brooklyn after all, and Brooklyn is nothing if not a seething pit of hormones looking for an outlet. I hereby declare all is not lost for you this year! Get thee to one of these events — they’re cool enough that they don’t reek of desperation (or Axe) but close enough to V Day that, let’s face it, everyone knows what you’re there for.

Bike date, anyone?

Just in time for the worst holiday of all time, the folks at L Magazine have compiled a list of 18 Brooklyn Dates: One For Every Conceivable Dating Scenario. Among these suggested evenings of passion are The Art Date (hit up some art galleries and toss back some PBRs), The Roof Date (WINE ON THA ROOF!), The Let’s Make Dinner Date, which honestly, this lady loves going on solo too, and, on that note, The Treat-Yourself Date for the Single Person, which includes a visit to my absolute favorite heart-break therapy spot, Buffalo Exchange.

What L Magazine refers to as “The Broke Date” is right up this Brokelynite’s alley and includes a free Saturday tour at the Brooklyn Brewery, cheap Mexican eats at Tortilleria Mexicana Los Hermanos in Bushwick and finishes with a cozy beerfest (or winefest) on the couch. So no more excuses, dudes; who says Valentine’s Day has to be extravagant?

For the full list of 18 proposed dates, head over to L Magazine.

Ah the finer things.

Whether it’s actually a thing that more women have discovered whiskey lately or just one of those pseudo-trend stories, we’ll let you decide. But let it be known, ladies, that ordering a glass of whiskey totally works for you, so you should keep doing it. On that note, All you dudes and ladies who love a taste of whiskey, prepare for an awesome pre-V day outing: New Greenpoint gallery/shop The One Well is hosing a whiskey and chocolate tasting on Thursday, and it’s free! From 6-8pm, sample drinks from Jonathan Wingo from The Whiskey Shop and chocolates from Danielle Lawrence of Raaka Chocolate. The shop will be offering package pricing on vintage glasses with the purchase of a bottle of whiskey, too.

The One Well,  165 Greenpoint Ave., Greenpoint. 

FRIDAY
8pm (+ 2/4): poets, puppeteers, musicians and other artists join forces for an evening of puppets + poetry at brooklyn arts exchange, including alphabet arts, dolly parton cover band doll parts, and the occupy wall street puppetry guild. $10.

8pm (thru 2/5): multiple playwrights collaborate on one work without knowing what others are doing at piper mckenzie’s dainty cadaver. the brick, $10.

Can you get your flirt on? Photo via Flickr's Nylons and Cake.

The good thing about going to a flirting workshop is that it’s probably a pretty damn good place to pick up a date, especially for you, the person who’s bad at flirting, because you’ll be in a room with other people who suck at flirting, which means your attempts to pick them up will be even more aww-dorable. Tonight, Babeland is holding a mini workshop on flirting to give you tips on eye contact, body language, suggestive conversation starters and tips for taking it a step further. The workshop is only about 20 minutes long, but, think about it: you’re in a flirting workshop. In a sex shop. A week before Valentine’s Day. If you can’t hook up there, you probably need to go back to remedial sex ed.
7pm tonight at Babeland Brooklyn, 462 Bergen St., Park Slope.

[via the skint]

Bed-Stuy, drink or die. Photo by Clay Williams.

Bed-Stuy is on the rise and for the most part it seems to mostly be a good thing (depending on who you talk to) as cool new restaurants and bars get added to the nabe made famous by Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing. But don’t take my word for it: This Saturday, our friend and photographer-about-town Clay Williams and friends are hosting a bar crawl through the Stuy: for $25, you get a free drink at each of four bars, small appetizers, swag from Yelp and a 2012 edition of the Not For Tourists Brooklyn guidebook, which sounds like more than $25 worth of stuff. You can buy tickets online through midnight Friday. See the full list of bars below.