Questions. You probably have some.

Okay, so what’s this site about?

There are two main things we tend to talk about around here:

1. Destuckification: working through the stucknesses that get in the way of you doing your thing.

2. Mindful biggification: the art and science of getting your thing into the hands of your people without feeling icky about it.

I should add that my duck doesn’t like the word “coaching” and I’m not such a big fan of the m-word. So we’re mindful biggifiers.

And then sometimes I also write about my own process: my conversations with walls and monsters, for example.

Or what it’s like to work on a pirate ship when you’re a pirate queen with a duck. Good times.

Really? You don’t do email? Ever?

I know. It’s insane. My duck and I have been on email sabbatical since January, 2009.

Luckily, the pirate ship has a full-time First Mate and Emailographer.

What’s with the duck?

She’s my business partner. See also: the story of Selma.

How long have you been doing this?

This site went live August 2005. In March 2006 Selma and I made it official, and The Fluent Self became a business.

We started getting more seriously biggified after we started blogging (that was June 2008 — you can peek at the archives for a sense of just how much things have changed since then).

But helping people work on their stuff has been a thing for a long time. I’ve been teaching in some form or another since 1993.

I heard you’re the one who invented the word biggification?

Yup! Also “stuckified” and “right people”. I am enormously useful. Clearly. See the glossary (it makes your hair all shiny!) for other Havi-isms that you might run into around here.

I left a comment on the blog and it’s not showing up. Do you hate me?

Oh, sweetie. No, I don’t hate you!

Assuming you didn’t throw shoes or write something obnoxious (and of course you didn’t!), one of two things may have happened to your comment:

My pirate crew moderates comments for me and they’re not always online. Chances are that your comment just hasn’t been processed yet.

Also, occasionally a comment trips our spam filter for no reason. It could take a day or two.

Do you accept guest posts?

No. Sorry.

Never? Really? Is there a workaround?

If you’re a Shivanaut (or someone who might eventually get around to thinking about becoming one), and you want to write a guest post for my Shiva Nata blog, you can send a submission to support AT ShivaNata DOT com, with “guest post” in the subject line. That would be neat!

Can I buy advertising on your site?

Nope.

Will you review my ____________?

If we’re dear friends and I love your work, you probably don’t need to ask.

Otherwise, not likely. Not because your stuff isn’t great, but because I don’t have the capacity.

Thousands of people read this site, and you would not believe the number of asks I get. Learning to respect my capacity has been one of the big crazy lessons of running a business.

I have questions about how to subscribe to a blog.

On it! Right here is where you can subscribe — either by email or by rss.
If that made no sense, see: What is this rss thing of which you speak?

I really want your stuff but I can’t afford it right now.

Oh, honey. I can imagine that you feel frustrated when you want something and can’t afford it, because you need to know that you’re going to be taken care of. That makes complete sense .

I want to acknowledge that frustration because it sucks when you’re in it. I know.

And I’ll add that there’s all kinds of free and useful stuff here on the blog (actually, there’s an entire page full of free stuff). Please know that it’s there for you, and that I truly hope it’s helpful.

Why do you have all these things that cost money?

You’re not the first person to ask that question. The answer is here. If what you’re really asking is why it costs so much, I answered that one too.

Should I buy your stuff?

If you have to ask, probably no. I’d honestly be much happier if you just hung out on the blog and soaked up the good. I wouldn’t want you to pressure yourself into a hasty decision because that’s probably not good for anyone.

Can I barter for stuff?

Sorry. Not our thing. Our non-policy is even on our official boring policy page where all the official boring policies live. Well, not all of them. But the most boring ones.

Where are you located?

Portland, Oregon. We have a center called (The Playground!). You should come.

A few times a year you’ll find me teaching in places like San Francisco or Taos or Asheville.

And once every year or so we go to Germany for a month or so of teaching there and eating bread. Mmmmmm.

You can take a look at the events page for more about where we’ll be and when.

I’m coming to Portland! Can we hang out?

Fabulous. You will love Portland.

I’m going to have to say “probably not” to hanging out, though. Between being insanely busy and introverted and highly sensitive, I’m trying to work on respecting my capacity. And I just don’t have the capacity to meet with all the many amazing people who come through. I’m so sorry.

But maybe there will be an event at the Playground while you’re in town. That would be awesome.

Can I ask you more questions?

The best way to get a question answered is sign up for the next Habits Detective teleclass. It’s free. And you’ll have a chance to ask me stuff there.

Also: you might want to take a look at previous Ask Havi posts in case maybe one of those is relevant to your situation. Ooh, or the Blogging Therapy ones. Those are kind of helpful too.

Do you have a disclaimer?

I do! It’s several years old, but I can disclaim with the best of them.

I want to send you fan-socks!

Ohmygod. I love fan-socks. My mailing address is on the contact page. Or, really, at the very bottom of every page on the site. That’s where I go to look it up too.

Yay. Hope that helps.
Big love,
Havi (and Selma the duck)