my story

spacer My story is one of brokenness, but also of redemption.

I’m a New Yorker who lived in South Africa for thirteen years, running a ministry that I love called Thrive Africa. Right now God’s in the process of rebuilding my heart and my life in the wake of my husband’s unfaithfulness and decision for divorce. You can read more about my journey here >

I’m grateful to know that my story isn’t finished yet.

I”m still (mostly) unwritten.

If you’d like to talk more with me, feel free to send me a message.
I’d love to hear from you.

 

Alece

Comments

65 Responses to “my story”
  1. spacer Traylor Lovvorn says:
    January 20, 2010 at 11:14 PM

    So sorry to hear what you have gone through. My wife and I divorced in 2002 due to my unfaithfulness and addiction. You can watch a video of our story at traylorlovvorn.com/?page_id=72.

    By God’s grace we remarried in October of 2008 after six years of divorce.

    God bless!
    Traylor

    Reply
    • spacer alece
      @gritandglory       says:
      February 3, 2010 at 1:40 PM

      rejoicing with you on the full-circle restoration of your marriage and life. God is faithful!

      Reply
    • spacer Sarahbeth says:
      March 3, 2011 at 8:01 PM

      Your story of restoration moved me to tears. How great is our God!

      Reply
      • spacer Traylor Lovvorn says:
        March 4, 2011 at 8:36 AM

        Thanks Sarahbeth! Indeed He is great!

        Traylor

        Reply
  2. spacer Amy Kim says:
    March 4, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    Hi Alece,

    I just stumbled upon your blog by way of Don Miller’s blog.

    Your story is incredibly heart-breaking, but incredibly inspirational. I truly believe that God has his hand on you and your ministry in Africa.

    Blessings,
    Amy

    Reply
  3. spacer Chrissy
    @christielici0us     says:
    March 12, 2010 at 12:15 PM

    Just wanted to mention I ADORE this picture! :)

    Reply
  4. spacer Bajanpoet
    @bajanpoet     says:
    March 12, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    Your story is powerful… and I’m glad you have so many people (including me!) who love u and are rooting for you. And you’re right – your story is FAR from finished!

    Reply
  5. spacer Mandy
    @BrokenN2Beauty     says:
    March 19, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    Ours too is a story of brokenness. Feel free to visit the newly created site to share our story – for His glory. My heart is drawn to you, as I identify with so much of your experience. I would love to connect with you more!

    Reply
    • spacer alece
      @gritandglory       says:
      March 22, 2010 at 12:43 AM

      thank you so much, mandy. i hate that you can relate with this kind of brokenness, but i’m encouraged to see the ways you’re allowing the Lord to use your story for His glory.

      Reply
  6. spacer Vineet says:
    March 23, 2010 at 6:18 PM

    Hi Alece
    I pray that I would never do to my wife, what was done to you and I thank you for being willing to share your pain and restoration through our Lord Jesus Christ! He is able to do more than we can imagine and he is the lover of our souls. I pray that you will be able to find joy in the Lord every moment and that He will continue to lead you in your inspirational work in Africa. When I lived in the Middle East, I made several friends from different parts of Africa and I cannot wait to go and see them in their homeland and celebrate Jesus with them and their loved ones.
    Your brother in Christ,
    Vineet

    Reply
  7. spacer Jim T. says:
    May 17, 2010 at 2:49 AM

    Hi Alece,
    I have read your blog frequently over the past months. Your story and mine are simular in many ways, and my marriage broke up back in 1996, so I now have the benefit of reflection. God sent a wonderful woman my way and we have a great marriage that walks with God always, we have been married almost ten years now. Healing was a long process, but He will heal us if we are patient. I thank you for the wisdom your site imparts to others who are broken and healing. God Bless
    Jim

    Reply
  8. spacer Minister says:
    May 19, 2010 at 6:23 PM

    Hi AleceI pray that I would never do to my wife, what was done to you and I thank you for being willing to share your pain and restoration through our Lord Jesus Christ! He is able to do more than we can imagine and he is the lover of our souls. I pray that you will be able to find joy in the Lord every moment and that He will continue to lead you in your inspirational work in Africa. When I lived in the Middle East, I made several friends from different parts of Africa and I cannot wait to go and see them in their homeland and celebrate Jesus with them and their loved ones.Your brother in Christ,Vineet
    +1

    Reply
    • spacer alece
      @gritandglory       says:
      June 22, 2010 at 12:20 AM

      thank you for your encouraging words, vineet. be blessed.

      Reply
  9. spacer idelette
    @idelette     says:
    August 27, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    I m so happy to have stumbled upon your blog. I am a South African girl who’s lived away from her continent for 11 years, having married a Canadian … I am so sorry to hear about your experience … But I love your heart. Blessings …

    Reply
  10. spacer Morag Roy says:
    September 22, 2010 at 3:13 AM

    Thank you for your raw portrayal of the devastation of adultery and divorce. My journey with divorce was 21 years ago, so I can partially share some of your pain, but each pain is unique. Each wound needs to be examined, washed clean and allowed to heal. Thank you for not glossing over or cheapening forgiveness….it is a tough journey. Your story mirrors my beautiful nieces story. I hope as she begins her healing journey that your frank words will carry her some of the way.

    I have the privilege of being born and bred in Africa [Zimbabwe] and know how that continent and its people wrap themselves firmly around your heart. I return from my present home, Australia, each year and work with Youth For Christ in Bulawayo. Their ministry is with children in crisis. Thank you for continuing the work of Thrive Africa. I wish/pray our Aussie young people could have the love for God and courage to overcome trauma that the children of Africa Thrive on!

    May God continue to bless this ministry and redeem you, precious young woman, from the ashes!
    Morag [Ragsie in South Africa!]

    Reply
  11. spacer joseph cantone says:
    November 1, 2010 at 6:18 PM

    I KNOW EVERYONE IS SAYING YOUR STORY IS NOT FINISHED-AND ITS NOT.

    IM GOING FARTHER THAN THAT I’M SAYING YOUR BEST DAYS ARE AHEAD OF YOU.
    GREAT EVENTS LIE JUST AHEAD.

    LOVE TO YOU IN JESUS JOE CANTONE

    Reply
  12. spacer Julia says:
    December 28, 2010 at 10:29 PM

    Hey am soo glad I stumbled across your blog!! I have this heart for missionary work and have done some..seems to just be in my system and i love the new cultures and challenges, and definitely will interest me to keep up with you. Blessings and love be showered upon you!

    Reply
  13. spacer Iris says:
    January 1, 2011 at 6:44 AM

    Found out about your website from an infidelity website – someone suggested reading your story. My heart goes out to you as I am currently – right now as I type this – in the middle of trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces from my husband’s multiple affairs. It is such a long story but I found out in 2009 that my husband had been unfaithful. I stayed because I thought that’s what God wanted me to do but then a few months ago, he left me saying that he was confused about his feelings for me (and the last woman he had an affair with – turns out that they have feelings for one another). He came back home after a month. Still, I’ve stayed – trying to do what I thought God was telling me to do but as of yesterday , I told my husband that I can no longer do this. After school is out, I’ve decided to leave him and our home. There are some underlying issues that are not being addressed and until they are, we are going to end up back where we are right now – and my heart just can’t take that. Thank you for your story – for your honesty. I will keep you in prayer! Please say a prayer for me as well!

    Reply
  14. spacer Dawn Groves says:
    January 1, 2011 at 11:22 PM

    Thank you for sharing your story and your journey. I came to your blog because a friend shared a link to it about One Word and wandered over to read you story. You have put a voice to my life of the last 3 years. You have said the words and felt the pain that I have lived. Your transparency has really blessed me!

    Reply
  15. spacer Angela
    @Angela_DeSouza     says:
    January 3, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    Hi Alece,

    I am so sorry that your heart got hurt. God is so faithful in restoring a broken life and I know he is going to do awesome things in and through you. Praise God for your passion for South Africa, I am a South African living in the UK but still have a heart for Africa.

    I have written three books on my story and how God has done amazing things in my life. I can send you the PDF’s if you would to have a read and perhaps even review them on your blog.
    kingsdaughters21.blogspot.com/p/contact-angela.html

    Love
    Angela
    xxx

    Reply
  16. spacer Linda says:
    January 8, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    So you are Rob’s friend Alece, author of the one word resolution? I can’t believe I found you! I’m going to get one of those little signs for my blog to encourage deeper conversations about faith in a non-threatening way. (People can be so touchy!)

    My word is “Know”… as in, Be still and KNOW that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

    I look forward to coming back and reading your story. Sorry to hear you’re going through some stuff now. In spite of the struggles, what an interesting life you have! God bless you…

    Reply
  17. spacer patty says:
    February 8, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    love2u.

    Reply
  18. spacer Teresa C says:
    February 23, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    Hello Alece,

    I am so sorry to hear about your pain, but I know God is in control, even of this. Sometimes it’s so hard to understand people, situations or God even. But I know this will work our for your good and His Glory. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your story, blessings to you and thank you for stopping by my little blog.

    Reply
  19. spacer Sanele says:
    April 18, 2011 at 5:54 AM

    Although your story brought me to tears as i read it earlier today, I must say I love how with God there’s always hope/sunshine after darkness. so I liked how you didn’t conclude your story with despair, but hope:

    “While I wish this wasn’t part of my plot, I take heart knowing that God isn’t done with my story yet. He’s still writing.

    My first break-up won’t be my last chapter. ”

    Promise that God will see you through.love!

    Reply
  20. spacer Ginnie F says:
    May 23, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Alece, I had the privilege of meeting you on my mission trip to Thrive in 2004! You picked us up at the airport in “JoBurg” and gave us all hugs. On the trip to Thrive I got to sit up front and talked with you about your life and the ministry. I remember thinking to myself what a strong christian woman you are and how I admired you. You obliviously still are today an dI am so glad to see you are doing well in-spite of what has happened. Thank you for being an inspiration and a Godly sister to look up to. God is going to continue to bless you and do amazing things thru you! God Bless~Ginnie

    Reply
  21. spacer jenn says:
    July 8, 2011 at 11:19 PM

    Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. I’m sure many other people will find healing through your experiences. (There were several posts I wanted to comment on as I read your story, so I decided to just comment here instead.)

    I have a story that is similar to yours in some ways, and different in others. And both of us had to deal with so much publicly instead of privately. You because of your work, and me because my husband was all over the news in middle TN. (It was more than just infidelity, but I learned everything at the same time – and it was immediately public.)

    I admire you because 5 years later, I still haven’t had the courage to tell my whole story. Obviously many people already know it, but I don’t talk about it. Through my blog people know I’m a single mother and that I’m divorced. They know my ex-husband is in prison. They know I was pregnant when he left. But I always fear rejection if I say anything more than that. Some stories are just too ugly to tell… I don’t know if I ever will, or if I should.

    Anyway, thanks again for your story. God bless.

    Reply
  22. spacer Gene
    @DGeneStrother     says:
    July 10, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    A good blog. I am adding you to my blogroll. If you would rather I didn’t, let me know.

    Reply
  23. spacer Cindy Holman says:
    July 19, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    So sorry to hear about what happened to you. I’ve walked a similar journey – only in our case it was me that was emotionally in a situation with another man. Our marriage was saved – but there was a high cost for us and me personally – felt like my right arm had been cut off in having to release those feelings and build again with the man who had become distant from me. We have rebuilt our marriage and lives – celebrate 30 years in September. I always felt like God was telling me no and that somehow beauty would come from the ashes of a broken heart – and He is faithful if not silent to those issues that baffle us. I know that God has a plan for the brokenhearted – and that He is very near to you. I enjoyed your guest blog on Karen’s blog today – I feel like you and I could be real friends :)

    Reply
  24. spacer The best is yet to come by Frank Sinatra says:
    August 22, 2011 at 12:24 AM

    A friend of mine always tells me ” The end of the matter with God is always good, so if it’s not good, then its not the end of the matter.” I don’t know if thats true but I like it anyway. You seem to have a wonderful relationship with God and I pray that you will find healing for your heart. The reason I’m writing to you is because I am in charge of helping new believers connect with God and with ministry at my church. My hunch is that you may have some wisdom on this subject and was hoping you might have some time to share some thoughts with me. Thank you.

    Reply
  25. spacer Kimberly Warne says:
    September 14, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    I’m loving catching up on what you’ve been up to for the last couple of years! I can’t believe it was ten years ago that I spent those two summers in South Africa! I have a new friend at work who is from Joburg and I was just telling her about you the other day. I’m glad you’re staying strong and building a new life for yourself back here in the states. If you’re ever in San Francisco, let me know!

    Reply
  26. spacer Tara says:
    October 12, 2011 at 12:25 AM

    I was referred to your blog through a mutual friend that we share. I feel your pain as I, too, am walking a very similar path. My husband has left me twice… the first time with three hurting, angry teenagers. This second time, pregnant with our fourth child. I believe God has called me to stand for my marriage and believe in the promises He has given me, despite the current circumstances. I know your anger, hurt, frustration, questions… I also know your contentment, joy and peace. Although there are still some days of tears, the peace and strength God has given me is amazing! My journey continues as my story is very intertwined in many different struggles and blessings. I wait for God to move and for His timing… He is a faithful God and absolutely NOTHING is impossible with Him. I look forward to reading more about your story… there is always hope when you find someone who has struggled in the same way you have, but with God’s grace and love have found the healing and redemption that He provides. :) www.createdtobebeautiful.wordpress.com

    Reply
    • spacer alece
      @gritandglory       says:
      December 5, 2011 at 12:57 AM

      i’m so sorry you can relate, tara. but i’m thankful for how God lets us know we aren’t alone… i am praying for you tonight…

      Reply
  27. spacer Christ Centered Teaching says:
    February 8, 2012 at 11:37 PM

    We’re praying for you.

    God said He will never leave us or forsake us.

    When all else fails He remains.

    His love is better than life. (Psalm 63)

    Reply

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