My Unfocused Life
July 15, 2011 in Identity 29
Today I’m excited to welcome my friend Alise Wright to the blog. We’ve been online buddies for awhile now and just recently Katie and I got to meet her in person. Rest assured she is just as awesome in person as she is online. Maybe one day you’ll be so lucky. Alise has a unique story and she’s sharing it today in the context of my favorite subject: Identity. I hope you love it as much as I did.
photo © 2010 Bethany Khan | more info (via: Wylio)
Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself.
I am large, I contain multitudes.
~Walt Whitman
One of the Rules Of Blogging ™ is that you’re supposed to have a focused blog. Pick a topic that you’re passionate about and write about it. Pictures of cats with unique spelling of words, family pictures gone awry, how to have a successful blog – these are the kinds of things that drive traffic to your site and make people say that you’re an uber blogger (well, dorky people like me who use words like “uber blogger” without thinking it seems strange).
I could probably have one of those blogs. When I started writing about the changes in my marriage that occurred when my husband left Christianity and became an atheist, I found that those posts brought a lot of traffic to my site. There are a lot of people who are in mixed faith marriages and sadly, there are very few resources available to people who are sorting that out, particularly for those who started their marriage on the same faith journey. People are looking for others who understand and who are in the same place. Whenever I write one of those posts, it’s easy to see what my “niche” could be.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I believe those posts are helpful, even if just to let people know that they’re not alone. They certainly help me to process through some of my own thoughts about living in a mixed faith marriage.
But here’s the thing. When I write those posts, it’s very easy for me to slip into the role of the wife of an atheist. Which I am. But only in part.
I’m also the wife of a musician. And the wife of a computer nerd. And the wife of a funny guy. And the wife of a good dad.
And beyond that, I’m so many other things.
Writing is a way for me to express my identity. I write in part for others to know who I am. It helps me to bring some level of focus to my life. But I have found that the more I focus my writing on one topic, the more unfocused my life becomes. If I’m the atheist’s wife, I lose other parts of me.
So I will write about being a Christian married to an atheist. And I’ll write about learning to run. And I’ll write about playing in a wedding band. And I’ll write about The One who ties all of these things together for me. And I hope that by doing that, my unfocused blog will bring Him into a greater focus.
Alise is married to her best friend and is the mom to four incredible kids. She loves knitting, writing, playing keyboards in a cover band, and eating soup. She also loves making new friends and you can connect with her on Twitter, Facebook or at her blog.
About Tony J. Alicea: I am a writer, passionate about helping people discover their identity in Christ, see them walk in the fullness of their calling and live an exceptional life.
29 Responses to “My Unfocused Life”
Alise! So glad to see you featured. Such an awesome post! And only cool people use “uber” so no worries.
I so heartily agree that identity is defined by more than one aspect of our lives. Part of my goal with Some Wise Guy is to be more than simply a dad or husband or leadership or man cave blogger, but all that and more.
You have such an amazing story and stories are what resonate with people.
ThatGuyKC recently posted..Why It’s Important to Kidnap Your Wife
Great post! It’s so good to know that I’m not the only one who doesn’t seem to blog on a specific topic “all the time”. I try that from time to time, but then I lose the focus of why I started the blog to begin with – to write about me, about my life, about my journey, about the things I do and the places I go (when I get the chance), etc. I’m not much of an expert on anything to keep my blog focused to one specific thing…so I will just keep plugging away at posts about whatever I want them to be about
.
Shelley recently posted..It Might Not Seem Like Much…
Great article Alise! Such a unique position you are in – I’m sure it brings you to your knees a lot. Marriage can be hard enough without a spiritual battle in your home as well. Blessings to you and your husband!
Cindy Holman recently posted..Adopting A Puppy
Thanks for writing this Alise and thanks for sharing it Tony. I’m with you Alise, my blog is very fractured. I think God is part of all that we as believers do and, in our case, all that we blog about. I’ve written a book about a part of my life that was very difficult. I want my blog to illustrate that, having dealt with my past, I now have a full and fulfilling life – full of many blessing, big and small. As my book is being released, I’ll be happy to blog about some of the issues it raises, but I’ll still do all of the other topics as well. I don’t want my past to define me now any more than I did at the time it was happening. That’s the point of what I like to call my ‘well rounded’ blog.
It all comes down to trusting Him-trusting that He can use everything in my life for good and for His glory. That is the hope that I hold on to so tightly when I don’t understand this life {which is more often than not}. So nice to “meet” you, Alise.
Keri recently posted..The Crossroads of Frugality and Integrity
Such a great post, Alise. My ‘focus’ in blogging is God and people so yeah, obviously not very focused. Really I guess you could say it’s encouragement, but that can go a thousand different directions too. Anyway, I love how you expressed this. Thanks!
Jason Stasyszen recently posted..Light Friday Hit List: 7/15/11
Thanks Jason! I have categories like “faith” and “interfaith” and “significance” and I do try to stay within those topics for the most part, but they’re so broad that it doesn’t really matter!
Alise recently posted..Guest Post at Expect the Exceptional
Calloo! Callay! Three cheers for Alise today!
As you’ve probably surmised, I’m right there with you–what with my blog being “random” and all. Like you, I’m not a person of a single focus, but have many, many interests (for me, this has been both bad–I never finished college–and good: I’m free to write what I want).
Congrats on your “unfocused” life!
randomlychad recently posted..I Was A (Grown-Up) Hypocritical Harry Hater
For me, as long as it’s honest, I’m cool with random when it comes to blogs. I don’t think those are the fast performers like the ones that are very clear about their mission, but as a reader, I still enjoy them.
Alise recently posted..Guest Post at Expect the Exceptional
Alise,
Thanks for offering me guidance in deciding what to write about on my own blog. I just started and am struggling to find a focus. I’ve decided now that it doesn’t have to be THAT narrow. I’m going to write about the things that are important to me — regardless of the subject they fall under!
Diane
Oh, I’m probably an awful person to offer blogging advice! I’m very much a throw it at the wall and see what sticks kind of person. But absolutely – I think if you write what you’re passionate about, people will read, even if it bounces around a bit.
Alise recently posted..Guest Post at Expect the Exceptional
Thanks for sharing, Alise!
It’s easy to let ourselves become defined by one particular scene or theme in our story, I’m glad you have the courage not only to speak openly of the story of your family, but also not become limited by that.
Love your last line about the One who ties all these dissimilar threads together. We are all works in progress, aren’t we?
Stephanie S. Smith recently posted..Is Building Your Social Platform in Conflict with Building Christ’s Kingdom?
Thanks Stephanie! You’re right – it’s very easy to let one part of our story BECOME our story. Especially if you’re a writer and you’re trying to build some kind of platform and you KNOW that’s the way it works (did I just admit that?).
Alise recently posted..Guest Post at Expect the Exceptional
For many, the process of blogging is about introspection – and then sharing their insights with the rest of the world. It seems that you’re ready to share your heart and soul with the rest of the internet, and that’s a pretty good “focus” to have.
Loren Pinilis recently posted..Vocation: How God Prepared David to Battle Goliath
Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I’m hard to shut up. That spilling over into my writing life is no surprise! Thanks for commenting!
Alise recently posted..Guest Post at Expect the Exceptional
I am with you! My blog identity (as well as my real life) is not just that I am a mom or a Christian or a designer, or whatever, it’s that I am all those things and more so I write about it all! I think that the followers that I do have are the best ones because they realize the value in writing about life, my life and how I see it through God’s eyes. Thanks for sharing!
April recently posted..You are beautifully and wonderfully made
It’s very easy to get caught up in one aspect and miss the fullness that we have. I definitely don’t think there’s anything bad about a niche blog, it’s just not something that I can do. Thanks for taking time to comment!
Alise recently posted..Guest Post at Expect the Exceptional