i have planned to stop breastfeeding cayden when he turns 1. if not for the love of my son, i would have stopped earlier. it was getting too stressful for me. not to mention embarassing – because cayden will sometimes pull my shirt up in public, without any warnings. add to that, because i have exclusively breastfed him, he didnt know how to drink from the bottle. he refused to drink my expressed milk from the bottle so we had to give him formula. even so, he would only manage about 3oz of milk and it would take him 3 hours at least to finish it! often times, he wouldnt drink milk while im at work. he will wait for me to feed (fortunately, by the time i went back to work, he eats solid food na).

2 weeks before we travelled to the philippines (for his 1st bday party), i suffered from cracked nipples (yes, both sides!). it was very painful to breastfeed. no, excruciating! cayden had no choice but to drink from the bottle. again, he would only manage a few gulps. afraid that he’d starve himself, even with the soreness, i still tried to breastfeed him despite the pain (really, for the love of him!). i applied lansinoh cream but it didnt help much. it took a long while for my nipples to heal just because i didnt have the heart to completely stop cayden from breastfeeding.

then he was hospitalised. he wasnt feeding much. hence, the iv drip. when he got out, he breastfed once and that’s it. he just stopped! he fed from the bottle! my plan to stop breastfeeding him at 1 became a reality and the guilt was less because i had no choice. i didnt plan to have sore breasts!

he can now consume about 28-32oz of milk in 24 hours (4oz at a time). the funny thing is, he would still sometimes try to suck from the breast but would stop soon after and he’ll look really embarassed, like he doesnt know how to!

im so glad he learned to drink from the bottle na! i feel liberated! when we have our 2nd child, i’ll make sure i’ll train him to bottlefeed (expressed milk naman =D) so we both have an option. it doesnt mean naman i’m loving him less. right?

sort of… =D

only 1 week (3days) of nursery left and he’ll be graduating lol. my mom is arriving next saturday so no more school for cayden. no more expensive childcare! (3days = 108.30£!). whew!

what made us very anxious (before he started going) was the fact that he only had 1 settling-in session at the nursery (2hours only!) and that was weeks before he actually went. to top it all, we came from a holiday abroad on a long haul flight! so we arrived saturday, he went to nursery on monday! poor baby. fortunately, he wasnt jetlagged. he only woke up really early on the tuesday because straight from the nursery that monday, he slept (knackered!).

so far, he’s doing really well. for the first two weeks, he would cry everytime his dad leaves him there (tantan drops him off in the morning, i pick him up in the afternoon). but that’s the only time he’ll cry. as soon as his carer cuddles him and shows him the toys, he stops and will play, so we’re told. this week, he didnt cry at all even if his dad is still there. tantan will just put him down when they get there and cayden will go to the toys or to the other kids and doesnt really notice that his dad has already left!

he eats all his baon (fruit, fruit pot, rice, viand, biscuits, cereal) but doesnt drink much milk (will only probably be able to drink about 3-4oz max). we dont know why when he can consume about 12-16oz in 9hours, even if we ask the carer to be persistent (too engrossed with playing?). but as soon as we get home, he’ll ask for his milk.

he also naps twice, for around 45mins-1hour each time

one time when i picked him up, he was nowhere to be found. he was in one of the rooms playing pala. one of the carers there said, he’s in and out everywhere! lol that’s my kid! he looks like a little mouse there being so tiny =D

his very first day, he came home with a bump on his forehead. a bigger kid pushed him. bad!!! after his first week, he got a cold virus and was sick for a week, which made mommy and daddy sick too. and of course, no sleep for me as i had to monitor his fever lest he had another fit. fortunately, he didnt.

it was a different experience for all of us. it sorts of prepares us for when cayden goes to proper school. we wake up at 7am. tantan takes a shower while i cuddle with cayden in bed. after tantan, it’ll be my turn and cayden’s in the shower. tantan will make his baon and eat breakfast while we shower. then he’ll take cayden and feed him breakfast so i can prepare cayden’s baon. we leave at 8am. the boys, to the nursery. me, to work. tantan will go home after to get his things and will cycle to work. after work, i pick up the tot. so that has been our routine for the past 4 weeks. it will end after saturday next week. it will be soooo much easier with my mom =D heehee but because cayden has settled in quite well already, i also feel a little sad for the little boy. i know he’ll miss having other kids around him. but we promise to bring him out as much as we can. it’s summer anyway, time for fun in the sun =D

still fresh, off to the nursery

still in a happy mood, going home (d na fresh lol)

just 3 days into our holiday in the philippines, cayden got sick. we were at my parent’s house and around 5pm, we noticed that he’s got a bit of fever. took his temp and it was around 38degC. asked my brother to buy tempra and gave him his first dose. at around 9pm, we went back to the condo where we were staying.

i was monitoring his fever and it was just playing between 38-38.5. didnt go to sleep as i was waiting to give cayden his next dose of paracetamol. i also tried spongebathing him but he was complaining so didnt pursue. tantan went to bed and i surfed the net to pass the time. at around 12:45am, i noticed cayden’s eyes just rolled and i knew that he was having a fit (seizure/convulsion). i shouted at tantan and i carried cayden to the lounge. i noticed that he wasnt breathing and his mouth was turning black/blue. i didnt know that part of convulsing is the inability to breathe. kala ko nag stiffen up lang tapos nag roll ang eyes. so i gave my son mouth to mouth, which was what we were trained and told to do (if baby’s not breathing) back here in uk. he started breathing again after 2-3 minutes. tantan phoned the reception and asked the guard to hail a cab. we actually have my brother’s car with us, as we were planning to go somewhere the next 2 days but tantan didnt want to drive as he was too panicky and afraid that we might ran into further harm. went to the lobby and it’s taking a long time for the guard to get a cab so i asked tantan to get the car as i was afraid cayden might have another fit. he was moaning a little too. scary i tell you!!!

while tantan was getting the car, the guard was able to get a taxi. i told him im going ahead and tantan can just follow. fortunately, makati med is just 2 blocks away from where we were staying. i rushed cayden to the ER, asked the hospital guard to pay the taxi driver for me (gave the money, told him to pay driver 100 pero driver asked for 150 instead, kapal talaga! abuso!! sobra sobra na nga ung 100 e tsktsk). at the ER, we were met by the resident doctor who asked what happened. what annoyed me the most was when he laughed and gave me the stupid-naman-look when i told him i gave my son mouth to mouth. he said it’s not necessary as not breathing is expected when convulsing and they recover after a few minutes. but i didnt know that! im not a doctor nor a nurse! i told him that and he was a bit embarassed by his reactions.

they gave cayden a suppository to get his temp down and was given a spongebath. then the pedia residents came. they asked for cayden to be weighed (me first then the two of us). and they couldnt get the weight right! i told them cayden’s last weight from his last weigh-in a few days before we left uk. they were asking me if im sure im giving them the right weight. hanuba!!! in the end, they got it right.

we couldnt get a proper room (all the pedia private rooms are occupied). we were given a semi-private one (we have our own room with aircon and tv but we share the toilet and bath with 4 other rooms). we asked that once a private room becomes available, they inform us right away so we can transfer. ok lang sana the semi-private one kaya lang the aircon didnt seem to work. cayden was perspiring (we reported it several times and was only fixed the day before we were discharged). anyways, we got discharged na, we werent able to transfer as all the rooms were booked.

cayden didnt have fever na after we were admitted. they still kept us there to monitor. if temperature spikes, he might have another convulsion. since tantan had it when he was young, we were told we have to monitor cayden’s temp everytime he’ll have fever because seizure might happen again. scary!!!

ok, let’s talk about his doctors (pedia consultant and residents). OMG! i’ve worked in a hospital all my working life and was never treated like that nor heard of someone being treated like the way we were treated!
the residents:
- parang hindi pedia ang specialty. they dont know how to deal with kids. the way they talked to cayden, parang hindi baby ang kausap. ni halos hindi nga nila pansinin at laruin.
- cayden’s IV had to be inserted twice. the first time was done just in case he will need drips. so when he did need dextrose (he wasnt eating and drinking milk), the nurses found out that the needle (dont know what it’s called, not exactly a needle) is not inserted properly in the vein. wala sya sa vein! they had to do it again. and blood was splattered all over the floor, on my feet and on the resident’s legs. bad trip!!!!

the nurses covered his hand because he was tugging at the thingy

with the drip

- they were trying to be intimidating by saying medical terms, talking like they know-it-all. kainis! e hindi naman ako naintimidate. sorry!

consultant:
- we didnt choose him for his skills. we got him because we didnt know any doctors in mmc and he was the consultant of the month or something. he was more concerned that we’re wasting our holiday in hospital rather than telling us what’s wrong with cayden. he was only telling us cayden hasnt got fever anymore but will have to be monitored. we only knew of him having a slight ear infection and slight tonsilitis when he said, “ok na ear infection”… “ok na tonsils nya”… duh!!
- he kept calling cayden “SHE” e ang laki laki ng sign that cayden is a boy! i even corrected him but still persisted on calling cayden SHE

- on the day of our discharge, he came around 12pm. he said to just give the nurses 30minutes for them to process the discharge orders. 3pm na wala pa din. the nurse found out that doctor forgot to discharge us. tsktsk!
- we asked for a medical certificate and a fit to travel note as requested by our travel insurer, who paid for the medical expenses. oo daw. same day makukuha. iprepare lang daw and will be ready before we go home. as usual, he forgot! we had to request for it and wait 5 days (seperate payment pa tuloy bec we had to request from the medical records pa) before we got it. it took longer because he went on holiday and didnt bother telling us (not that he needs to pero if you’ll forget to do something, make sure you’re available to do it in the next possible time! and alam nya we’re not gonna be in manila for long!)
- para din syang hindi pedia the way he treated cayden. walang tlc! imagine, he knows cayden had problems sleeping (kasi mainit) and he knew kakatulog lang nung bata. he wants to look at his mouth and tonsils. you know what he did, he forcedly open cayden’s mouth and he was poking un-gently. my jaw just dropped for lack of words to say! nagising si cayden and syempre he cried and was grumpy for a while.

on the medical certificate it says, febrile convulsion secondary to viral infection. that’s where we learned of cayden’s diagnosis. we werent exactly told when we were in hospital. everytime we asked, they’ll just say cayden’s fine.

as for the nurses. we only have praises for them. super maalaga and magaling. the philippines will be sorry to lose them for greener pastures.

oh by the way, the pedia consultant’s name is dr. clemente (jose ata ang first name).

waiting to be discharged

my sister said we should have gone to asian hospital. i told her it’s an emergency. we’ll go somewhere near d b?

cayden recently had fever after contracting a cold bug from the nursery during his first week stay there. fortunately, he didnt have any convulsions. although we had to go to A&E (er here) because his temp rose to about 38.5 again and we’re scared he might have another fit. he was given ibuprofen with his paracetamol and that worked.

anyways, avoid that consultant if you can!

we were very anxious before our flight because it was cayden’s first. and a long haul at that. we always book a middle eastern carrier so the travel time is halved from origin to stop over to destination. aside from the fact they often offer the cheapest airfares =D

the flight itself wasnt eventful, thankfully. cayden slept when he’s supposed to. ate plane food. he only cried once because our connecting flight to the philippines was delayed (instead of leaving at 10pm, it left around midnight and he was so sleepy already and couldnt settle bec it was too noisy all around) because someone wheeled a passenger on a wheelchair, left him at the waiting area and nobody knows anything about him. they had to trace where that person came from and he had to board first because of special needs.

anyways, what made our trip stressful was the fact that our carrier transferred terminals in heathrow and we werent informed. we thought we’re flying from terminal 3. we were supposed to be in terminal 4 pala. imagine the hassle of hauling 4 big luggages, 4 small trolleys and 4 odd bits and pieces in a train to transfer to the other terminal. and tantan had to move everything by himself – i was carrying cayden and my mom had a frozen shoulder. fortunately, the train is exclusively for terminal transfer and not much passengers on it. anyways, we made it on time and once we’ve checked in, everything went smoothly.

cayden just played with his trunki while waiting for our connecting flight. we were joking that he’s like a politician campaigning because as his dad was pulling him on it, he was waving at the people waiting on the side. cuteness!

another annoying thing pala that happened – on our flight back, we were seated in the middle row and there were 3 seats. tantan was on the aisle, i was in the middle, then an empty seat. a middle eastern woman with a baby then boarded and took the empty seat. she was holding her son, with her arms taking over half my seat. i told tantan we should swap seats because having a baby on my lap, i need space. that woman said she didnt want tantan to sit beside her. i told her the problem and she said she’ll put her son in the bassinet once the plane takes off. yes, she did lay her son there but there were still times when she’s violated my space. kainis!!! i totally respect their beliefs and traditions but she should have been true to her word. hindi lang naman puro babae ang sakay ng eroplano d b?! wag mamili!

anyways, here are cayden’s pics

the space looked cramped. it’s actually bigger than that. we just had so much stuff!

After searching high and low for a very affordable condotel to stay at in pinas, someone offered us a discounted rate at Malayan Plaza in Ortigas. Actually the one who offered the discount is not from Malayan. She just have a cousin who has a unit there and who, she claims, knows people from the management so they’ll be able to give us a very good discount (50% off of the current rates). We were eyeing another unit but Malayan turned out cheaper and very close to cayden’s party venue. Super ideal di ba?

Anyways, we had no reason not to trust this girl. Afterall, she’s a good friend of my brother. And even if I haven’t met her personally, we’re pretty much close online contacts. Actually, I have spoken to her over the phone many times before – as in chika. She assured me many times that everything has been set up. No need for a downpayment and we just have to turn up at Malayan.

36 hours before our flight, I got an email from her saying she wasn’t able to talk to her cousin about our reservation. Basically, we haven’t been booked! Imagine my distress and frustration. I didn’t need news like that 36hours before we leave!!!! She told us we could still go directly to Malayan, no need for reservations. I know we can do that. But what we were after, in the first place, was the discount. I was thinking back to all those offers we had to forego just because Malayan was the cheapest one.

I gave my friend and siblings in pinas a frantic SOS. My sibs couldn’t do much because they can only search online and phone the condotels they could find (I can do that from here). And none are cheap enough for our budget (bear in mind arrival is in 2 days’ time). Surprisingly though, I wasn’t hysterical. I thought, it could have been worse (flight cancelled because of the Icelandic ash?). we can always stay at my parent’s house if worse comes to worst.

Fortunately, my friend was able to find us somewhere to stay. He actually asked our ninong sa kasal (whom I was too embarrassed to ask. He’s his boss) and he offered his mom’s unit in Makati. Fortunately, no one’s renting the place so we can stay there at a discounted rate (even lower than that of Malayan! And Malayan was just a studio whereas this, a 2-bdrm unit). talk about blessing in disguise! Our ninong has other condos but asian mansions is a lot more convenient in terms of its location. It’s along dela rosa street (legaspi village) in Makati and is just 3minutes walk from greenbelt 5. sosyal! lol

It’s even walking distance from Makati med, where we had to rush cayden when he had his convulsion (more on this next time).

Downside, the unit is a bit old. The blinds are disintegrating lol and a couple of the dining chairs are dangerous to sit on. The place needs a bit of updating pero everything’s doable/useable pa naman. and for the price?! I’ll still stay there, no matter what. And we’re very grateful that we were able to rent it out the last minute. We had so much fun there. my family stayed there for most of our stay in manila. We swam in the pool, peeped at those old people in trunks swimming in the next building lol, had fun teasing each other while walking towards greenbelt/glorietta through the walkway in front of the building. Really, Blessing in disguise!!!

night view from pool deck (which is at the upper penthouse – 29th floor?)

view from our room
AM’s pool deck

Pero because of this, we’re thinking of buying our own 2bdroom unit in pinas, to be rented out when we’re not there. we have actually paid a non-refundable reservation fee in one of smdc’s developments c/o my brother (he’s buying his own unit too) so i guess it’s all system’s go. Hopefully, it all goes according to plan! Para no more hassles next time we go back home =D

im back! I don’t have any excuse (about not blogging in a loooong while) other than I’ve been so lazy! Anyways, we’ve been back in UK since the 22nd of may (i know! i know!). It’s good to be back but I wish our holiday went a little bit longer.

Just a quick update: (will elaborate in future posts)
- 36hours before our flight to the phils, we had frantic last minute search for a condotel to stay at
- cayden’s 1st plane ride wasnt so bad
- cayden was hospitalised for 4 days (party almost had to be cancelled)
- we were so annoyed at the pedia who looked after my son in Makati med (beware!!)
- cayden’s party was a success
- im working on the supplier ratings for cayden’s party
- spent happy times with family and friends
- cayden is growing up fast. He has already weaned from the breast
- back in uk without my mom (oh, the mess!!!)
- cayden’s stint at the nursery
- my car’s battery gave me so much trouble!

Tons of stories and pictures, coming up!

we were racking our brains trying to figure out child care for cayden for when we come back from our holiday in the phils. my mom is going home with us but wont be back till the end of june. i started looking beginning of january. nurseries were out of the question because they wouldnt accept us because of our short term requirement (1month child care). i was getting nervous because february came (and was going by very swiftly!) and we still didnt have any prospects.

i even searched and inquired with private child minders/nannies, even though im not really that comfortable handing over the care of my precious son to someone i dont really know. but nada. no one came back. until a friend mentioned about the creche.

i’ve heard about the creche before but didnt really pay much attention because i thought it’s just for one time/one day/emergency-sort of child care. when my friend mentioned it, i immediately contacted our company’s creche and was told that they’d be happy to accomodate cayden. when we went round to see the centre, they informed me that they will care for any child as long as it wont become regular. they can care for a child for as long as needed (1, 2months) as long as it wont look like they’re being used as a substitute for a nursery (haba ng waiting time sa nursery – with our company). so if my mom goes on holiday in december and will be gone for 2 months, they’ll be happy to care for cayden again. it’s not considered as “regular” kasi. no set pattern.

anyways, cayden had his settling-in earlier. settling-in is like a dry-run or practice session. too bad it’s his one and only. it’s usually a 3-4 1hour session. but the one in charge of cayden was on holiday and was off sick and they had some activities at the centre then we’re off already next week, today is the only day. they’re not open on weekends naman.

here’s cayden before we left for creche:

gusto ng mag snack nd pa umaalis! =D

big boy na no? *sob*

when we got there, rhonda (his carer) brought out some toys. i think cayden sensed that we’re up to no good. he wouldnt leave my side and was just making lambing to me (was leaning on my shoulder). i asked my mom to go out of the room. i kissed cayden and then enticed him with the toys. he started walking towards the garden door so i took my cue and left. i was so nervous!

we came back and cayden was on the verge of crying. it was his nap time na kasi so was getting grumpy. rhonda told me that cayden did really well. she was expecting a lot of crying but there wasnt much. it took a while for cayden to realise we’ve left. when he started to cry, rhonda picked him up and gave him a cuddle. after a while, he went down from her lap and started walking again exploring the room. he had his snack and drank some milk. the only other time he cried was when he saw us. he was already on the verge of crying as i’ve said but he looked really sleepy already.

funny thing was, when my mom was putting him on his car seat, he was mumbling and had his hand up to his ear. his facial expression was like he’s telling us we should have called! lol he slept when we got home.

what i like about the creche is, they dont have much kids under their care. like today, cayden was the only one. when i saw their calendar during cayden’s stay, none was booked yet. if that’s the case, it will be a one-to-one care. i think it’s usually 1:3. they also have a separate space for creche: their own toys, own garden, etc. but they bring the kid/s next door (nursery) so they can mingle with other kids.

anyways, today was a different experience. it was sort of liberating because mom and i were able to do a bit of shopping. my thoughts were still with cayden though and how he’d been holding up. i hope he remembers rhonda as he’ll be staying 9 hours with her mon-wed for a month! i hope he wont be grumpy. we’ll be back on a saturday and cayden will go to creche the monday coming – kumusta ang jetlag? lol goodluck to us!

diy guestbook
~ shabby princess: perfect party brag book ~

it was tantan’s bday last saturday. since it’s just 2 weeks before we head to the phils, we decided to celebrate cayden’s advance bday same day as his dad’s. we wont be back till the end of may so too late to celebrate na. cayden’s bday is on the 9th. the celebration is for our friends here who wont be able to celebrate with us in the phils.

anwyays, it was just a simple party celebrated with only close friends. my mom cooked most of the food. i did the kaartehan stuff. i was planning on some games and prepared some prizes but decided against it the last minute. next year na lang pag madami ng kids =D. besides, baka makaattend some of my sibs. mas masaya!

we enjoyed the day immensely. the weather cooperated. too bad some friends couldnt make it. next year, present na ha? lol. cayden, of all days, was grumpy to start with. he took a nap and woke up not seeing anybody. didnt like it one bit! kaya he wouldnt go with anybody aside from me, his daddy and lowla. he warmed up naman later in the afternoon.

here are some pics:

diy guestbook

thank you to all our friends who came. thank you for all the gifts. thanks to my mom for cooking. thank you lord for giving me my boys! love love them!

oui! oui!

we’re going to paris in august! woohoo! tantan and i couldnt agree on where to go on a side trip in the philippines so we decided to just skip it and do the traveling somewhere close to home. initially, we planned for just a 3day weekend trip for us. but we couldnt find an earlier flight to paris. that would mean, less time to explore. i want our trip to be as laid back as possible. i dont want to be rushing around just to see the major sights. fortunately, tantan was able to scrap some more holidays (annual leave) and set our trip on a bank holiday weekend so we’ll be able to enjoy paris for longer. we’ll be there for 5 days! we’ll skip disney this time because we dont have that much time.

finding the right accomodation was a pain! the cheapest ones are outside central paris. they may be cheap but travel time will kill us. also, tantan found out that it can get too hot in august and the ones we initially found dont have airconditioning. most apartments in paris dont have aircon, heater lang. wawa naman cayden. also, we have narrowed our search to a few arrondissements kaya finding the right one within our budget was difficult.

just when we were about to settle for 2nd best, tantan found this apartment:

no lifts here as this stone staircase is considered as a historic monument

light and airy no?

this apartment is located at Paris 1 arrondissement, which is the geographic centre of paris. it’s just right beside palais royal and 600meters (10mins walk) away from the Louvre. it’s within walking distance to most major sights. it also has good access to public transport. since it’s an apartment, we have our own kitchen, in case maisipan magluto ni mami =D. it also has aircon at me internet!! yey!

heniways, i cant wait! biro mo, paris is just an hour away by plane from us. we’ve been here in england for almost 7 years now pero now pa lang kami pupunta dun! im sure it’s worth the wait =D