Burning the Khandava Forrest

by Tony Giannetti on February 16, 2012 · 0 comments

Agni

Where is the light, find the Shri, remember the teachings, to go or not to go, what is the future….these are the statements and questions that are burning through our community, or at least, through my own head. How do we find the light? When my studio said my class would no longer be called Anusasra-anything is when the fear started. I won’t enumerate the thoughts as they’ve been well covered here and in other forums…it’s nothing new, nothing special about me or the particulars of my situation, just fear. Fear compounded by calls to be patient, wait, let it take it’s time, it’s course, wait for the next announcement, and the next, and the next. I always tell my students, “Yoga is sometimes very uncomfortable, but it should never be painful.” Basically, I felt like I had to stand and wait in fear. Discomfort turned to pain. Something had to shift. I needed to backup and change my alignment.

Darcy Lyon always reminds us that jumping right for the light and ignoring the darkness is a spiritual bypass…attaining a moment’s peace built on a house of cards. The real work is to slog through what’s eating you and come through the other side.

There’s a story in the Mahabharata where Agni, the god of fire, is trying to burn down a large forest where all manner of demons and agents of darkness have hidden. Everytime he starts a blaze Indra sends rain to protect those hiding away in the density of the trees. Arjuna and Krishna work together to make a dome of arrows covering the forest so the rain cannot fall and Agni ignites the conflagration. Arjuna uses his archery to help destroy the demons as they try to flee. Only one of the forest inhabitants, the architect Maya, is left at the end and he builds a beautiful city hall for the heroes to rule from.

While I do believe that Anusara will sustain itself and come through this in time, there’s a rational possibility that it won’t. The fear for me was, “Who am I as a teacher without or outside this system?” I took my first Anusara class in 2000 shortly after I started yoga, and started teaching in 2004. There was a time when I knew yoga without Anusara, but it was brief. The work it seemed, was to go ahead and consider what I would do post-Anusara…who would I be? It was time for an answer…time to let it all burn down and see what would be left over.

I got home from my day job, grabbed a glass of wine, and went to my yoga room to sit, pace, and think. I started with the question Abby Tucker basically asked us that framed the last module of her teacher’s mentorship: What is your voice as a teacher? You have to know what you want to say before you can even worry about saying it skillfully, with UPAs, linking instructions, and a heart woven theme. I remembered two things, Patanjali’s first yoga sutra, and the Central Teaching Elements.

The first sutra basically says, “Begin where you are.” We hear this a lot in classes…it’s a key teaching. Twelve years ago I went to a mat for the first time, and where I was then was enough. Where I am now is more than I was then, so it must be enough now, too.

I then realized most of my fear was not about my seat as a student…there are always great teachers, in both asana and philosophy, and I know who they are and how to recognize others. My fear was who I am as a teacher, the potential loss of a credential from a recognized authority, a loss of guidance on how to construct classes, etc. I asked then, “If I had to go off on my own, either by choice or by force, what’s the single most valuable thing from Anusara I can take with me as the starting point to continue growing?” The answer came back, rather quickly, in the voice of one of my most valued teachers. I flashed back to 2004 when I was thinking about taking an immersion and training and Scott Lewicki told me, “Whatever you do, make sure to go to the back of the manual and read and think about the Central Teaching Elements. Those are key to making a good class.” I rummaged through my stacks and found my original manual…not the new editions, the one I first learned from, scrawled all over with the frantic notes of someone intensely seeking to do this thing, and do this thing well. I found the Central Teaching Elements and slowly tore them out of the manual and taped them to the wall of my practice room next to my poster of Darren Rhodes doing all the poses on the syllabus.

Standing back I had to smile. These pages are the only ones I didn’t scribble all over with notes and questions. Instead, only #13 is highlighted in yellow. “Enjoy yourself and have fun in class! Remember, the easiest way to connect to Grace is through a soft, smiling heart.” That’s how I teach. That’s how I’ve always wanted to teach…keeping it fun, warm, and inviting, with the stories, philosophy, asana, etc., all used in service of reminding myself and those around me of our human gift to enjoy enjoyment. And a single tear of happiness rolled down my cheek as I remembered for the first time in years that I highlighted that sentence BEFORE the official training began.

I have not resigned from Anusara, Inc. and am waiting…waiting with anticipation and even some anxiety, but not fear. I hope it will become something even greater than it has been. I hope I can tape those pages back into my manual. But now l know what I’ll do if I find I have to leave or if the organization collapses: Teach from where I always have, and the way I wanted to before I even joined.

Light found.

Creative Commons photo via Flickr by Idol

For a more complete overview on what’s been happening, please visit: Anusara Controversy: Overview and Timeline

John Friend takes a Leave of Absence

by Brad on February 16, 2012 · 2 comments

 Here is the latest letter from John Friend, The Founder of Anusara Yoga, sent this morning in the wake of the Anusara controversy:

Dear Friends,

The last two weeks have been intensely heartbreaking for me.

I am deeply sorry for choices I made, which have caused such a firestorm of pain and suffering in our community

I have profound grief for the damage done to our Anusara yoga community: teachers, students, and friends.

Presently, I am completing my current event in Miami, which I felt too irresponsible to cancel.

On Monday, I will be stepping down and taking a leave of absence for self-reflection, therapy, and personal retreat in order to take care of myself, and consider the next best step for myself and Anusara. Professional counselors and advisors will help me to determine the duration of my sabbatical.

Within the next 10 days, I will make a full public statement that will transparently address the entirety of this situation, and present a detailed outline of the reorganization of Anusara yoga. Also, I will be able to finally write and call individually so many friends who have been reaching out to me.

This devastating experience has profoundly impacted my heart and soul, and will serve to guide all my future actions with integrity.

Humbly,

John Friend

(actual letter below)

For a more complete overview on what’s been happening, please visit: Anusara Controversy: Overview and Timeline

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