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FOOT

February 21st, 2012

Holly’s cheerleading competition was apparently a cheerleading exhibition which is wayyy better because we didn’t have to hang around all day for awards.  I had not seen their routine before Sunday because I am one of those mothers who idles in the parking lot playing solitaire on my phone, but after seeing the exhibition, I have come to the following conclusion: cheerleading is dangerous! Jesus H!

Holly was like 15 feet in the air half the time and was thrown like a hackysack several times and they even carried her around holding on to just her foot.  FOOT. Singular.  I still haven’t figured out why she’s afraid to do a back handspring when she’s not afraid to get carried around by her foot.

She’s a funny kid, though. She had asked me to record “19 Kids and Counting” because she has a weird fascination with The Duggars (and really, who doesn’t). We watched the first episode last night and I have to say it was dead ass boring, UNTIL. Michelle Duggar was going to a bible study group and was collecting her handouts and one was a treatise on how to maintain your husband’s “manliness.” And it included shit like “Don’t be financially independent” and “Don’t resist your husband’s affections” and “Don’t make your own decisions” and “Don’t listen to ANYONE, REALLY, EXCEPT YOUR HUSBAND HUSBAND HUSBAND”  and I went OFF and paused the t.v. and starting ranting and told Holly, “Listen, you must never ever ever believe any of that shit, ever, I’m serious, listen to me when I tell you…” and she rolled her eyes and was all, “Okay mom, I won’t and besides I’m NEVER wearing those heinous long skirts so you don’t need to worry.”

It’s not about the skirts! But ha!

I don’t care how many babies Michelle Duggar has, but I do care that she is teaching her daughters that they have no worth in any context other than husband-worshipper.  Fuck that shit. I’m surprised she doesn’t call him “Mr. Duggar.” Actually, that’s infinitely preferable to “Jim Bob.”  JIM BOB.

I got Elliot signed up for a dorm room next year (hope springs eternal). KU had this great deal – if a  student decides to return to the dorms for a second year, he has the option to get a single room for the double room price. The rooms are in one of the older dorms, but Elliot didn’t care (Adaptability!).   I would have killed for a single dorm room. I’m sure my roommate would have too, since I snored.

Running shit:

On Sunday, I ran 1.6 miles without stopping.

Here’s why people get all disgusting and philosophical about running: it isn’t about running.  The idea of running for 20 minutes was ridiculous to me. I was positive I couldn’t do it. Tim was like, “I think you can do it.” I was like, “WHATEVER, you don’t even know.”  He said logical things like, “In January, you didn’t think you could run for 90 seconds.” I said, “YOU JUST DON’T EVEN KNOW.”

As I did the warm up walk, I was all fussy and felt like crying, for pete’s sake. CRYING. Just because I didn’t think I could run 20 minutes. What’s more, I didn’t even want to try.

I don’t like to try things when I think there is a high probability I will fail.  And I think this is a good philosophy, for the most part. Right? Why set yourself up to lose?  But the key to that statement is “high probability I will fail.” There was a very low probability I would fail in this case, and I have trouble telling the difference.

The Couch to 5K app actually helped. As I headed out, the little screen said, “Don’t let this run scare you. Just keep a steady pace. You’ve been training for this for 5 weeks.” In my case I had been training for it for 9 weeks, since I did four of the weeks twice.   I had the robot voice set up to notify me every five minutes and when it notified me that I’d run 15 minutes for 1.17 miles I almost stopped in disbelief.   That was my goal when I started this – not a 5K, but running a mile without stopping. I said, out loud, “I DID IT!” and did a really embarrassing Rocky sort of thing. I knew I was going to be able to finish the 20 minutes and it really wasn’t going to be all that hard. And when I was done I was like, well, goddamn. I wonder what other things I could have done in my life if I’d trained for nine weeks and then gave it a shot.  Now I suppose I have to run a 5K.

Posted in Exercise sux, Kids

28 Comments on “FOOT”

  1. spacer Poppy K says:
    February 21, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Jane – you rock! You’ll be registering for your first 5K in no time at all. I applaud your endurance.

  2. spacer Miz Robyn says:
    February 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    You totally kick ass, you crazy runner you. spacer

  3. spacer Lorraine T. says:
    February 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Well done. You just need to change the penultimate sentence to read “I wonder what other things I can do in my life if I train and then give it a shot.” We are stronger than we think.

  4. spacer mainquestion says:
    February 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    I wonder what other amazing things you WILL do WHEN you train and then give them a shot?

  5. spacer badger reader says:
    February 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    My childhood friend’s mom was very subservient and had to get the grocery list “approved” before going to the store and couldn’t deviate from it, etc. Once the youngest was in school, I remember the mom broached the subject of getting a part time job during the day to not have to “ask” about every single penny being spent. It did not go over well and it just BLEW my little 12 year old mind as my own mom is very assertive and vocal and I could not imagine WANTING to be in such a marriage.
    Your running stats are awesome and I think you are amazing for sticking with it.

  6. spacer Michelle says:
    February 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    You must get yourself to TWOP and read the Duggar thread. It’s insanity, and the depth of the Gothard-ism that the Duggars live by is horrifying. Someone on TWOP found the entire pamphlet online that Michelle handed out at that study and it is just unbelievable.

  7. spacer maddy says:
    February 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Awesome on the running!

  8. spacer Michelle says:
    February 21, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    I think someone should tell Jim Bob that he ain’t shit. It’s all about God and He is making Michelle fake it.

  9. spacer Nanc in Ashland says:
    February 21, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    I enjoyed the Duggars when the wimminfolk all wore match frumpers but now it’s just sad and really creepy. Are any of the older girls ever going to get married? And I agree with Michelle (the commenter, not the Duggar!)–read the TWOP forums and then take the phrase “throw the hotdog down the hallway” as a writing prompt.

    I walk 1.5 miles to work and home every day and I can’t picture ever trying to run it.

  10. spacer Danks says:
    February 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    I am so proud and impressed with your running!!! YAY Jane!!

    Clearly Michelle Duggar is a sandwich or two short of a picnic. Jim Bob? REALLY? Ugh.

  11. spacer Gina says:
    February 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    Yay! Congrats! Good job!

  12. spacer Sarah says:
    February 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    You rock – with running and with being a kick ass role model for your daughter.

  13. spacer Laura says:
    February 21, 2012 at 8:20 pm

    This little running recap is the best thing that has happened to me today! I’m serious – it has been a shit day, and I’m getting all happy/teary from reading you.

  14. spacer Shelly says:
    February 21, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    The first time I read the sentence, I thought it said that Holly was getting thrown like a “haystack”. And I wondered how the hell you Kansas people toss haystacks in the air. “Hackysack” makes a lot more sense!

  15. spacer Kathy says:
    February 21, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    Michelle Duggar? The simpering baby voice alone is enough to make one hurl.

  16. spacer Christina says:
    February 21, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    YAY!!!! I knew you could do it!! So glad that the training has paid off for you. I’m still officially less than a year from beginning my own running journey and not only have I run 2 5k races and done a couple of 6 & 8 mile runs…but tonight I did an “easy” training run with my friends. We ran for 16 mins, walked for 1 minute, then ran another 23 mins. 3.2 miles total at a 12mile pace. And yeah – it honestly felt pretty easy for me!

    Just keep plugging away. I’m still amazed at how I’ve progressed after I spent 46 years LOATHING running with a passion. Anyhow – I wont pester with my constant encouragement anymore spacer

    Oh, and WHOA on the Duggars eh? That’s some scary shit!! spacer )

  17. spacer Lorio says:
    February 21, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I am so inspired by your running! I’ve started my own modified c25k. I have 3.5 mile walk I do every morning. So I started running for 1 minute then walking 2 minutes. After a week of that, I can now run 2 minute intervals. I never, in a million years, thought I could even do that. The day I run the whole way will be epic.

  18. spacer Janey says:
    February 21, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    OK quit being such a f****g rock star jogger already, you are making the rest of us look pretty damned lame. (And then I read Robyn has been working out 4x a week for the past 6 weeks and she didn’t even MENTION it till today .) Gah, send the freaking Kool-aid over dammit!

    But proud of you both. Though I must hate you a bit first before I admit how envious and inspired I am, cough… Cough..

    Jim Bob must be freaking fucking fantastic in bed for Michelle to endure what she has. Just sayin’.

  19. spacer Kismet says:
    February 22, 2012 at 4:14 am

    “I don’t like to try things when I think there is a high probability I will fail”

    Hmmm, I wonder where Holly gets it?

    I like the Duggars.

  20. spacer Grace says:
    February 22, 2012 at 6:04 am

    Congratulations on the running success!

  21. spacer devil says:
    February 22, 2012 at 7:17 am

    WTFG with your running progress, Jane. You know that we really REALLY want to see video of you doing the Rocky thing, right? That would be awesome.

    Yeah, the Duggars. What a contribution to overpopulation. And anyone named Jim Bob shouldn’t even be allowed to breed.

  22. spacer Liz says:
    February 22, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Yay (on the running)!!!!!!

  23. spacer Sarah says:
    February 22, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Oh, the Duggars… I may have had to leave a comment or two on a few posts floating around the blogosphere re: that gag-inducing handout of Michelle’s. Mainly because I myself was an unwilling PART of their homeschool movement for a few years in my teens. Fortunately my parents quickly realized it was about five percent good stuff and the rest was totally cultish insanity, but man do I feel bad for the kids raised their whole lives that way. *involuntary shudder*

  24. spacer Texxie says:
    February 22, 2012 at 9:07 am

    RUNNAH. I LOVE IT. I really can’t stand it when people get all bitter and uppity about running, or weightlifting (YOU ARE NEXT), or any other kind of exercise, because it’s really NOT about the exercise. It’s about getting through something hard and being able to sit with discomfort. You can leverage that feeling in other areas of your life. I AM JUST SAYING //TONY ROBBINS BS.

    I am proud of you awwwwxoxoxo

  25. spacer Sue says:
    February 22, 2012 at 11:01 am

    The Duggars = Nuts! I bet they are voting for Rick Santorum. Just saying. Lets not turn Jane’s comments section into a political fight. Thank you.

  26. spacer Wendy says:
    February 22, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    Jane – AWESOME JOB!

  27. spacer Laura says:
    February 22, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Congratulations! You did it! Yes, run a 5K and tells us every last detail. Lots of blog fodder. Rocky all you want!

  28. spacer Annette R. says:
    February 22, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Go Jane-LOVE the Rocky theme and you deserve that Rocky moment!

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