April 27, 2005
Amsterdam III - The Finale
Here we go again. The last set of pix to post from the recent debacle in Amsterdam.
Friday night in Amsterdam, we found ourselves heavily sauced and coffee'd up. Blurry blurry shit. If it wasn't for these pix, damn, I would not remember any of this.
The infamous Teaser's Bar in central Amsterdam. We watched a dude die here. Well, almost die. He wasn't moving and his skin had turned an ashy shade of gray. I have no idea what brought this on either. Some people said they saw the guy get choked. Others said he just fell off his chair and bam. In any event, it was a sick scene as a few cops showed up to clear the mess and almost got their asses kicked. One drunk reveller dumped his entire beer out on one of the cops. NYPD they were not. Two fucking cops. What is that? If this was NYC and some fuck dumped a beer on a cop, there would be 150 cappers on his ass asap. Anyone remember Amadou Diallo? Shit, that was over a wallet. Imagine if a cop was actually assaulted.... The Dutch police are weak. Bottom line.
Not really sure what's going on in this pic. It ain't pretty, that I'm sure of.
Only a mother.......
At this point of the day/night/time-has-no-meaning we found ourselves looking for some club called Escape. We tried walking there. So what do you do when you have a long walk ahead of you? You load up on booze. Every country has their own version of the infamous bodega.
Beeeeeeeeeer. Good canned beeeeeeer.
It's amazing this monkey wasn't arrested. Then again, we were in Amsterdam where you could dump your beer on a cop and have nothing happen to you...
Weeeee weeeeeeee weeeeee. Look at the little weewee.
MORE PIX. CLICK LINK BELOW.
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Posted by evil at 09:49 PM | Comments (2)
April 26, 2005
Amsterdam II - We're Not Done Quite Yet
There's more pix to post; more degeneracy to share. Shall we?
Ahem. Ahem. We were just browsing here.
Read on to the next pix for an explanation.
Ok, so how do I explain what's going on here? Let's see. We were all drunk. Walking somewhere in Amsterdam during the day and enjoying the buzz along with the fine weather. Due to the heavy ingestion of Heineken, we needed to make multiple rest stops at various bars for more booze and quickie bathroom breaks. In the past 2 photos, what you see is a bathroom break but not at a bar. This was taken at a McDonald's in Amsterdam. Most of us had to go pee. One of us (Boris) had to do a #2.
Being the good friend that I am, I tried to snap a few pix while he was on the bowl. He wanted no part of it. You can't blame him there. But that's not what's funny about these pix. What's funny is what Boris said to me as I was walking out of the toilet. He said "Dude, give me a little bit. I'm gonna nap for a bit." Huh? I thought. He wasn't kidding. There he was - sitting on the shitter in a toilet in McDonald's in the heart of Amsterdam - all ready to close his eyes and nap for a while. God Bless him.
An hour later, when we checked back at the McD's restroom, he was no longer there.
At the Heineken Brewery.
Heineken Brewery.
More of the same.
Check out the cutie next to the guy with the weird had.
More pix. Click below to see.
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Posted by evil at 07:07 PM | Comments (1)
April 25, 2005
And You Thought We Were Done - Amsterdam Part I
Yes, this is a temporary yet early detour from our recent retirement. In fact, it's hard to convince yourself to retire when you just spent the past 72 hours in Amsterdam with a dozen of your whitest black friends. Or at least 11 of your normal friends and your one whitest black friend. You know who you are Mr. "I Got A Hundred Million Clips...."
In any event, Amsterdam had to be chronicled and who better than us right? I mean, besides for the KiDD (now broke by the way....) from Rio, who else can puff, drink, crush, snort, wallow, swallow, wretch, slobber, jab, upper-cut, grenade, wax and violate better than my retard friends? Very few people. Very few.
So here goes - Amsterdam 101.
At Newark airport. Gav was kind enough to bring a case of Miller Lites with him to the gate. Genius! Fucking Genius!
Miller Lite. For the taste of course.
Please, no pix of the fat guy.
The anti-hero of the trip. Did I mention that this guy drove to the airport with 2 other dudes - Gav and Jizzy. They polished off a bottle of Jack just in the car ride to the airport. The first thing that Borka did when it saw me was tackle me. The first thing that Borka did when it saw Fish was kick him in the balls. By the way, do Fish even have balls?
It has begun.
He rode up and down on this bannister from the duty free shop to the bar and back.
More pix!!! Click below to read entry in full.
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Posted by evil at 08:27 PM | Comments (6)
April 16, 2005
This Is Not A Goodbye
It's more of a - my heart's not in it anymore and the love is gone. The KTB honeymoon is temporarily over. There's only so much coke, Tara Reid, Tabby and booze I could imbibe and write about.
So till further notice - Goodbye. Don't be saddened though. There's plenty of links in the blogroll to keep one dully entertained till the wee hours of any coke binge. Witzy - you know exactly what I'm talking about here.
In the meantime, you can find KTB posting actively on Flickr. Our Flickr page is here.
Sayonara...
UPDATE (Monday April 18th, 330PM): If for nothing else, do us a favor and remember KTB for this. It's a goody.
Posted by evil at 09:44 AM | Comments (9)
April 5, 2005
You Heard it Here First
Not that it matters or you should care one little wee bit but, a very knowledgeable and personal source of ours insists that rapper Jay-Z and hottie diva Beyonce tied the knot this past weekend. They're married. So far, nothing on the wires on this but that's the way it goes. Congratz you crazy kidz.
Posted by evil at 09:15 AM | Comments (2)
March 29, 2005
Back From FL
Well we're back from FL - home of retirees, veggies and hot mamas. Twas a great time. Even with Pigger succumbing and saying them dreaded two words "I DO."
God help us all.
Check out Terri Schiavo's blog. It's fucking hysterical. And Yes, We Know, We're Going to Hell Here. That's old news.
Posted by evil at 02:27 PM | Comments (1)
March 23, 2005
KTB to FL
Team KTB will be in sunny Florida (thank god) for the next several days. Pix, mayhem and chronicles of the very debauched to follow next week.
KTB is going down for a final bon voyage party for long-time associate Pigger. It is the Pig's farewell weekend. Come next Monday morning, he is Pig no more. He shall forever (hopefully...) be known as Papa Oinker.
Posted by evil at 03:12 PM | Comments (5)
March 17, 2005
Happy St. Pat's
It is now 3:07PM and KTB is heading over to Finnerty's solo. Most of our friends are either married, engaged to be married or with childe. God bless 'em all. It is time to drop Thor's hammer for all the purged souls.
The past few weeks have been a blight of locusts upon a famished, impoverished Somalian commune. SOF. It is time to drown the sorrow's in multiple pints of Smithwick's chased with swills of Knob. Goodbye sobriety. I'm coming home.
Posted by evil at 03:11 PM | Comments (5)
March 15, 2005
The Whole Foods Fiasco - A Photoessay
There was a line extending from Whole Foods' new 14th street entrance down to the corner of Broadway wrapping around the block. People. Lots of 'em. 99.9% of them freeloaders like us. The other 0.1%? Who cares.
Robio gains entrance for the KTB constituency
Hello world
They really went all out for this one. Dancing midgets to follow.
"The drugs are down here guys"
Free food make me happy. Free wine make me happier.
That would be Rick from Mean Rick's Picks. Good stuff. I made sure to tell Rick how much I adored his spicy string beans. They are the perfect vodka chaser.
Yes we are a lucky bunch. Gotham Bar & Grill was representin'.
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Posted by evil at 05:46 PM | Comments (4)
Much Ado About Smack and Other Shit
Ok, I'm such a fucking slacker here. I don't know what's happened to me. Witzy is making fun because I'm in awe of his new Brasilian girl. MMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMM. She's so fucking hot that it's scarey. SOF. Not even playing. Witz, I want to be your penis. Just for 10 seconds. SOF. OK, enough with that.
Sometime later today, I hope to get around to posting pix from last nite's Union Sq Whole Foods Grand Opening debacle. Robio, Kess and I hit that place and made a mockery. That's what happens when you serve free wine and beer to mongrels. Shit falls apart. Rob accosted Mario Batali and I knocked an entire uber-table of apples & oranges down. Sorry Whole Foods personnel. We're actually really nice people in retrospect. You're the ones who fed us all that freebie wine and beer. So you're to blame for the mess I made. Ooops. Sorry.
Where was I? I also plan to get around to writing an excellent review (along with pix) of Mara's Homemade located on east 6th street b/t 1st and 2nd Aves. It's a cajun joint serving fine, fresh crawfish, Abita beer and all things NOLA. I was so impressed by the food there that I'm at a loss for words. A career in food reviews is out of the ? for me. F it. But seriously, I came in to Mara's a cajun snob. The only thoughts racing through my mind upon entering was "there's no fucking way this place comes close to Great Jones cafe." And those that know, you can't blame me for thinking that. Great Jones is - well I don't need to spout exclamations of how good GJ is. Either you know or you don't. And if you know mMMMMMmmMMM MMMM MMM. Yeah, it's that good. THAT GOOD.
So I came into Mara's with this elitist snobbery and I left completely overwhelmed. We went through 2 three-pound buckets of crawfish. Our tables were covered with the Sunday Times and the little critters were scattered throughout the newsprint. So fucking good. Mara's is definitely a new KTB scavenging grounds.
The anatomy of a "red-dragon/bolivia's finest" deal:
Discreet handshake.
Slip cash to your "friend" Pablo. In this case, "friend" looks like a Walter or Nicholas. Could even be a Julian. Refer to Less Than Zero.
Receive said gifts from friend and tooodalooo. Ciao.
I want to party with Nicole.
By the way, I feel so black today. 50 Cent been on the iPod all day and night.
Hate it or love, the underdog's ontop
And I'm gon' shine homie until my heart stops
Lol, I've lost it. Perhaps its best if I did take that break from blogging after all. Help is needed. Pix coming soon.
Posted by evil at 03:40 PM | Comments (1)
March 11, 2005
Do We Know This Guy?
We know trading blows and the market has been a sideways assfuck lately. But this is bad. This is very bad:
hedge fund trader seeks strap on mistress - m4w - 30In fact, doesn't this guy sit just on the other side of our desk? Or is it the guy who's short KMRT and currently living it up in S.A? This sounds very familiar. Too familiar.filthy hedge fund trader who loves being short crude oil, steel and coal, seeks female dom for strap on fun to help further my pain and make me feel worthless.
i hate hedge funds, i hate traders, i hate all PM's, but i love an asset class that widens out my sphincter shortside.
you must be hot, you must be able to gun me up the ass like my current positions.
i hate myself i hate my life and i hate my job. but i will love you.
please get back to me ... as my year has effectively gone to the sh*tter perhaps we can work out a carve out in lieu of cash payment ...
[CL link via gawker]
Posted by evil at 02:01 PM | Comments (1)
Powerrrr Grrrrrls
Lizzie Grubman's new MTV reality series, Power Girls, debuted earlier this week and we're sad to say we missed the first episode. Not only did we miss it but we forgot to set our DVR to tivo it. With that said, it would be unfair for us to review the show without actually having seen it. But we were able to find a review that in all likelihood bares our exact sentiments.
...For a group of people whose entire job is to kiss ass, these women don't quite manage to ingratiate themselves to the audience. The half-hour was enough to make me wish her offices weren't on Lafayette but were instead in the World Trade Center.Ouch. LOL. Read the whole thing over at lowculture.
Posted by evil at 08:34 AM | Comments (2)
March 10, 2005
Quotes From Last Nite
The following was uttered during a game of darts between myself and 3 other creatures
"she's a good girl if she doesn't hit you."It's hard to explain what that actually means without getting into trouble. Oh woe is the abused boyfriend."you don't want to be an abused boyfriend."
Posted by evil at 10:29 AM | Comments (5)
March 9, 2005
Whiling Away The Day
The market is killing me. I've been short BOOM (NASD:BOOM). My ass is so sore from the ass fucking this stock gave me that even massive doses of Prep H are ineffective. I hope you're able to see the metaphor here.
Despite my anal soreness, I still feel a heck of alot better than this poor white boy. Damn, he got his ass beat. And check out all the peeps in the video (all white) who are just watching him get PUMMELED by this massive black guy. I've never been one for gun control and this just furthers my "armed and readiness." One blast from my Mossberg 12 gauge and the massive black guy would have been a dead massive black guy. Still, it's not like I'm allowed to carry it out in public. My Mossberg that is. I'm applying for a pistol license today. F that.
Posted by evil at 02:08 PM | Comments (3)
A Holiday For Our Ilk
Next Tuesday, March 15th, is a "holiday" we're going to enjoy very much. It's the official International Eat an Animal for PETA Day. Yaaaaaaaaaaay.
Here's what I'm considering eating on this joyous occasion:
1. The aged NY Strip from the Strip House. Cow simply doesn't get any better.We are going to feast ourselves silly.
2. A cheeseburger with everything on it from Burger Joint. Thank MT for pointing this baby out way back...
3. A Bison Burger with the works from Fanelli's served up on their perfectly crispy focacia bread.
4. A smattering of yummy cow via Peter Luger's. Yes, it's still a fave of ours.
5. Delicious baby back ribs from Houston's (my mouth is watering as I type).
6. The big-ass beef rib from No. 1 Chinese. You haven't lived if you haven't had this.
7. Filet mignon from Dylan Prime. Eat and be seen baby.
8. Going with the burger vibe here - Bacon Cheezburger from Corner Bistro. Add the $2 mugs of McSorley's and how can you possibly go wrong.
9. And last but not least - hot dogs galore from Gray's Papaya.