I received my new Social Security card in the mail yesterday--Mouse Hislast Mylast--so the name change is officially complete. FIVE MONTHS LATER. My driver's license now says Mouse H Mylast. I can get on airplanes when the ticket says my name and EVERYTHING. And I will tell you what: it was a pain in the ass, but it feels like the right thing, and I'm happy about it. Hooray! On that note, I invite you to move over to Good Mouse Bad Mouse (newly relocated due to a mean domain claimjumper), where I will be mostly writing from now on. It's been a good run, but this is the end of the wedding-related stuff. xoxoxoxo

P.S. OMG WHAT IS THIS TOTAL NONSENSICAL TRASH MY CLAIMJUMPER IS POSTING?! Ick.

P.P.S. Update from JANUARY 31, 2012: this is how long it took to finish all of the name change bullshit. Done now. But holy crap, that was a process!

Well, micies, there is some good news and there is some bad news in the long chronicle of changing my name back.

Yay: Went to court this morning and got the legal name change done. It took, like, ten minutes once the judge showed up, and he cared NOT AT ALL about my reasons for the change.

Booo: It turns out there are, like, seven billion steps left to go. I have to publish another ad in the paper, send the court another affidavit saying I did so, then I have to obtain copies of the official name change (which cost $10 each) and send them all around everywhere. And only THEN can I start down the long list: Social Security office, DMV, credit cards, etc.

It's definitely going to cost another $100, bringing the total to around $300 so far. Argh, argh, argh.

But at least my name is fixed, now. It's Mouse Hislast Mylast, with Hislast being my middle name, safely relegated to "H" when I want not to be defined by my marriage. Sigh of relief.

So, of course Ya-Ya's wedding was gorgeous. Basically I bawled the whole entire time, and the priest actually made a weird comment about how happy for her I looked (heart is apparently stuck on sleeve). If she wants to, Ya-Ya might come over here and do a recap, once her photos are in. But I think it's not my place to recap. My whole day was bawling, being happy for Ya-Ya and Ya-Ya Man, and Fixing Shit Before She Knew It Had Gone Wrong, which is basically the Best Woman job description. There were some minor disasters and some pretty funny things, and I'm not going to tell you about them, because all she needs to know is it all came out perfectly and the wedding was gorgeous. What I will share is my toast for them, because I think it turned out okay. You have to remember that this was a Disneyphile wedding, replete with carriages and fairy-tale references of all sorts, which Ya-Ya did in a very sweet and tasteful way. So here it is.
***
Ya-Ya and I spent the first years of our friendship waiting for our lives to begin—staring out of windows, driving aimlessly around our suburban neighborhood, and sitting in parks. With the pavement hot under our bare legs we would laugh and dream, our stomachs tingling from the infinite possibility you feel at seventeen, when the world is open and nothing is decided. We had a black notebook we passed back and forth, full of dreaming, but also full of frustration. The eighteen- to 24-year-old-men of our hometown had thus far failed to impress us in a wide variety of ways. The pages of this black notebook are laced with fiercely independent jabs, promises that we needed no men in order to be happy, and assurances that if our dreams of love didn’t work out, Ya-Ya and I would sit together in the old folks’ home, two tiny old women, cursing belligerently and smuggling in cigarettes and liquor.

This makes it all the more remarkable, the thing that Ya-Ya wrote in the margin, shining there like a beacon of hope in a sea of worried cynicism. It came from Little Women, a story so saccharin we despised most of it, a story dedicated to marrying off all four of its female protagonists, fierce or no. And even still, here is the thing she wrote in the margin: “You only need one, if he’s the right one.”

This simple phrase reveals Ya-Ya for who she is. Romantic, even in a sea of terrible first dates. Wise, knowing that a real life lay beyond our frenetic, seventeen-year-old rants. Hopeful, in that small seed planted in the desert of first-heartbreaks. Kind, to offer such a ballast, even though it would take a decade and a few false loves before it proved true. Brave, to hold tight to the idea of true love, such a radical notion.

And true love is funny, because for years and years, it was no easy thing to find. There turned out to be plenty of that endless possibility we felt that summer, but also rivers of tears, mountains, fire, canyons, and other obstacles. When it came, it happened suddenly, effortlessly. Ya-Ya and Ya-Ya Man fell into each other as if beckoned by something so simple and irrefutable as gravity. When she called to tell me, it was as if the world had always been that way.

My darling Ya-Ya and Ya-Ya Man, as you stand on the edge of the life you will make together, this is my toast to your love, true love—something even grander and more miraculous than a fairy tale.

Ya-Ya wedding week recaps of Mouse and He-Mouse's wedding, part 3...

10.15.2010

It has come to my attention that some people did not ever receive the Mama Mouse tutorial on how to write a really good thank-you note. For instance, I saw one on He-Mouse's desk this week that went like this:

"Dear Mr. and Mrs,

Thank you so much for the great gifts! They are super thoughtful and we like them a lot. It was fun to see you!

Love,
He-Mouse and Mouse."

Um. NO.

It's not his fault at all, micies. I don't think anybody is teaching boys how to do thank-you notes anymore. But Mama Mouse is Southern, and let me tell you, I have probably clocked more thank-you notes in the course of my life than an ambassador. The size of my birthday parties, as a kid, was regulated by how many notes I would have to send afterwards. I remember I got carried away the year I turned seven and invited eighteen kids. She let me do it, but my tiny little hand nearly fell off. The next year, I invited my five best friends.*

Now, all y'all have probably learned how to write a decent thank-you note at some point or another. But on the off-chance that you haven't, here's the handy dandy Mama Mouse tutorial.

1. The Card
...Is very important. Even if it's for something small, the card should never appear goofy, or make a joke, or--worst of all--belittle either the person you're thanking or the action you're thanking them for. Cards like this or this can never sufficiently express gratitude, even if it's "thank you for doing the dishes this week." Nope. Heavy paper is good. Tactile is good. And from there, it should be a card that reflects YOU--when the recipient opens the envelope, he or she should feel that you spent time and energy choosing it for them. For our wedding thank-yous, we chose these letterpressed cards by Souris Mariage sponsor Ruby Press. She customizes the colors, which is bomb, and the paper feels good and heavy. (Heavy paper is also more fun to write on, which becomes a lot more important when you're doing seventy-six thank-you notes rather than five.)

2. The Handwriting
Doesn't matter, so long as it's as legible as you can make it and you do it by hand. You CANNOT do a typed thank-you note, regardless of font, unless you are not able to write one by hand. (REALLY not able.)

3. The Signature
Needs to be legible, even if you usually do the doctor's prescription signature, like He-Mouse, who signs "H njfhdgnjvshfghet." If someone separates the card from the envelope, it still needs to show that it came from you.

4. The Message
Should not ever say the words "thank you," which are probably printed somewhere on the front of the card. Instead, you should express your gratitude in a personal way. It MUST directly reference the gift. The recipient should know that you know exactly which gift in the pile of Crate & Barrel boxes came from them. Usually a wedding gift is a pretty big investment, and it is your job to make their placesetting or their blender or whatever it is seem SPECIAL and DEEPLY APPRECIATED, even if they got you something hideous or you already have seven of said item. However, you have to toe the line between deep appreciation and unmasked materialism. It's fine to be excited about your new Dutch Oven, for instance, but you should always be MORE excited that whoever gave it to you came to the wedding. Specifics are very important in both cases. Extra points for referencing some future event or experience unrelated to the thing you're thanking them for--this emphasizes lasting friendships rather than stuff.

5. Money
The exception to the specifics rule is money. Never reference a dollar amount (be it cash, check, or gift card) in a thank-you note. Instead, say something like "we so appreciate the spending money" or "your gift will go a long way towards the mixer we're saving up for" for a small gift, and "your very generous gift" or "we were able to complete our china placesettings with the gift you sent" for big ones.

6. Salutation
For a thank-you note, I always use a slightly warmer salutation than I might under normal circumstances, although I'm never dishonest. "Love" is appropriate for quite a lot of your guest list, especially at a smaller wedding. "All best" still works for colleagues. For the older, more formal folks, I'd go with "very sincerely" or "with warmest regards."

7. Timing
In general, you have no more than a week for the thank-you note to reach its recipient. There are tales around the South of people smuggling notes in their purse, so they can fill one out in the bathroom during a dinner party and stick it in the hostess's mailbox on the way out.** This is why you should, for goodness sake, WRITE YOUR NOTES AS YOU RECEIVE YOUR GIFTS. You get a