San Francisco Sexuality Resources

A New Look at Sex
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Introduction

This guide provides brief descriptions and contact information for some of the sex-positive cultural resources of San Francisco, California.

Before beginning, we should pause to mention that:

This guide is only intended for (and frankly only of use to) consenting adults, since the overwhelming majority of the organizations it describes are restricted to participants over the age of 18 or 21.
This guide comes with no accuracy guarantees, may eventually go out of date, in some points is (by necessity) based on second-hand suggestions rather than the first-hand experience of its creators, and in using it you release its creators from any liability concerning it. In other words, it is at best a starting point, and never a substitute for using good judgment.
There is always time in life for new experiences, but some health and safety mistakes can't be undone: if you haven't learned enough about safer sex to know what you need to do to preserve your own health and that of those around you, or aren't sure whether you're the sort of person who can stick with what you've decided, then this isn't the guide you should be reading right now.
Common courtesy, and asking whenever you're unsure whether something is OK, never go out of style.
Three national non-profit organizations actively defending the freedoms which sex-positive culture depends on are the ACLU (see www.aclu.org), the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (see www.ncsfreedom.org), and the work the Planned Parenthood Foundation does to maintain access to birth control and STD prevention measures (see www.plannedparenthood.org). Consider supporting their work if you can.
If you sometimes travel to other cities on the West Coast, then you may also wish to check out our Sexuality.org West Coast Awards.

Sex Education

Good Vibrations hosts classes each month in its stores: most are mixed-gender, but a few are women-only.
A new organization called OneTaste is offering sexuality and sensuality classes at their dedicated venue on Folsom Street.
The SFSI educator training is open for anyone to take, though it makes the most sense for people who would like to staff the SFSI volunteer hotline.
The Insitute for the Advanced Study of Sexology offers independent graduate coursework, and several certificate programs, in sexology.
In cooperation with Joseph Kramer, founder of the Body Electric School, the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality is now offering a Sexological Bodywork Certificate.
Heartwalker Studio offers several classes related to sexuality, in some cases in a men-only format.

The monthly zine SanFranSexy is also worth a look, both for event advertisements as well as a sense of the local culture.

GLBT Resources

General

You'll find a wide selection of community events, newspapers, and flyers at the city's impressive GLBT Community Center (the Berkeley equivalent is Pacific Center). Another community institution is A Different Light Books, the city's oldest and best-known gay and lesbian bookstore. In print the SF Bay Times contains excellent listings of GLBT resources and events, and online larrybob's list is often useful.

San Francisco's newest GLBT institution is its GLBT History Museum, the only such museum in the United States, and one of only two in the entire world.

Lesbian or Bi Women

Dance and social venues for women include The Lexington (San Francisco's full-time lesbian bar) and El Rio (offering dancing, music, and open-mic events). The Women's Building offers both affordable meeting space for community groups as well as events of its own, and butch/femme socials are also held once a month.

Gay or Bi Men

One popular educational resource is the Leathermen's Discussion Group, which hosts educational programs for both novices and experts on a wide range of leather interests. In a more specialized vein, men with uniform fetishes may wish to check out Men of Discipline. For bears and their admirers there's Bears of San Francisco, and there's also a bay area Radical Faeries hotline.

Bi Men and Women

BiFriendly hosts bi-friendly social events in San Francisco and surrounding areas.

Transgender

For most alternately-gendered folks, TransGender San Francisco is a solid place to start: it's the oldest transgender educational and social organization in the United States. Some FTM folks may wish to start with FTM International, which is the longest-running educational organization for FTM's and trans men in the United States.

Trannyshack remains the most popular drag event in the city, and a nightclub called Diva's may be the country's only full-time transgendered strip club.

Dancing

Mixed-gender/orientation Clubs

Even including this section may be a lost cause, as clubs come and go so quckly. But at least for the last several years the high-energy EndUp has been a fixture of the local scene. The crowd depends on the event and the night of the week.

Recently there has been a trend of dance parties positioned much like off-premise swing events but advertised to a younger crowd, with an emphasis on dressing up, and restricted in attendance to couples and women only: Pleasurezone is one example.

One source of current information on the club scene is the San Francisco Bay Guardian web site.

Fetish Fashion and Gothic Events

Dress-up events include Bondage-a-go-go and events sponsored by Vau de Vire.

BDSM/Leather/Kink

Community Event Calendars

For the mixed-gender BDSM community the EroBay calendar is excellent. For the men's leather community, there's the San Francisco Leather Page. For the women's leather community, there's the Exiles calendar.

Education

The best place for most people to start is the Society of Janus; they have a rich schedule of educational events and panels each month, and also offer a monthly munch for new people. Other possibilities include EduKink.

The Knotty Boys and Rope Bondage Dojo offer bondage workshops, Cleo Dubois offers multi-day workshops on a variety of topics, and Midori has moved into education full-time.

Women who prefer to learn (or socialize) in a women-only environment should look into joining Exiles and attending their monthly workshops. Workshops are also hosted in conjunction with the annual International Ms. Leather contest.

Social, Support, and Play Organizations

Two mainstays of San Francisco's leather community today are SF Citadel, which hosts events almost every day, and Wicked Grounds, San Francisco's new kink cafe.

Leathermen who enjoy the social and erotic company of other men will probably want to look into the 15 Association, which sponsors regular play parties and the annual Bootcamp weekend. Similarly, leatherwomen will probably want to look into Exiles and San Francisco Girls of Leather.

Organizations focusing on spanking include SF-CP, and organizations focusing on animal roleplay include The Stampede and Dog-and-Pony.

Men's Leather Bars

The Powerhouse (which also offers SM demos during the month) is very popular.

Out of Town Organizations

SM Odyssey in San Jose offers parties and workshops. Backdrop offers parties, workshops, and a library for their members in Mountain View. Pleasure Bound offers social events in Sacramento.

Swing Clubs

On-premise events include those by Club Kiss, Tangerine's Dream, and Twist.

Sex Clubs

Mixed-Gender Sex Clubs

The Power Exchange is now open again at a new location. Other facilities hosting sensual events include Mission Control SF.

Men's Sex Clubs

Blow Buddies (which also hosts Golden Shower Buddies, Naked Buddies, Leather Buddies, Underwear Buddies, and Bear Buddies on various nights of the month) has an excellent local repution and is extremely popular. Eros is particularly clean and well-lit, and very popular on weekends. Mack has a rougher reputation than the other clubs, according to Betty and Pansy's Guide. Although there are no bathhouses in San Francisco (the aforementioned clubs are not technically bathhouses, as they do not provide fully private space) but in Berkeley there's one called Steamworks.

A "loose, goofy, and semi-spontaneous" group of men's j/o enthusiasts called SF Jacks meets at least twice a month.

Polyamory Organizations and Resources

The Bay Area Polyamory mailing list is one way to stay in touch.

A list of local poly-friendly therapists and services is maintained at the polychromatic web site, two examples being Geri Weitzman and Integrated Healing Arts.

Workshops on Spiritualized Sexuality

Same-Gender Classes

The Body Electric School offers their full range of men-only and women-only classes in nearby Oakland. The Flesh and Spirit Community specializes in men's workshops, while Love Journey specializes in women's workshops.

Mixed-Gender Classes

The Institute for Ecstatic Living sponsors workshops throughout the year at the Harbin Center. Other organizations offering mixed-gender workshops in this area include Dakini Temple, the Body Electric School, Celebrations of Love, and Center for Healing and Expression.

Shopping

Sex Toys

Good Vibrations is the place to go for most sex toys and video rentals. For a more extensive selection of BDSM equipment, try Mr. S Leather and Stormy Leather.

Clothing

Try Stormy Leather and Madame S first for women's leather and fetish fashion. Mr S Leather is an excellent choice for most men's leather and fetish clothing (as is the vendor area at the annual International Mr. Leather Contest), though you can also check Leather Etc for deals when you're in the neighborhood.

Romantasy and Dark Garden sell corsets.

Popular boutiques for women's lingerie include Chadwick's of London, My Boudoir, Toujours, and Les Cent Culottes.

For drag clothing, try Piedmont.

Body Modification

Most folks recommend Black n Blue Tattoo for tattoos, and Body Manipulations for piercing.

Annual Events

The Von Gutenberg fetish ball in March
The Sex Worker Film Festival in May
The Masturbate-a-Thon fundraiser in May
The San Francisco International Lesbian and Gay Film Festival in June
The Pride Parade in June
The Folsom Street Fair in September
The Good Vibrations Independent Erotic Film Festival in September
The Exotic Erotic Ball in October

HIV/STD Testing, Reproductive Health, and Counseling

HIV/STD testing referrals are available through the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, though one commonly-used location is the San Francisco City Clinic. A Planned Parenthood clinic is located dowtown at 1650 Valencia St, and offers drop-in hours for emergency contraception. Kink-aware physician and psychotherapist listings (e.g. Vanguard Leather) are available on the KAP list.

One well-respected sex therapist in the San Francisco area is Claudia Six.

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