Four years ago, at the Beijing Olympic Games, Procter & Gamble's ad campaign was "Proud Sponsor of Moms." I complained loud and long about that one—how leaving dads out in such a glaring way was insulting and demeaning.
Now they’re back, and are ramping up their insulting, demeaning message a few notches. P&G's campaign for the upcoming London Summer Olympics? "Thank you, Mom." Excuse me? Only mom? Again? Really? How 'bout "Thank you, Mom and Dad." Apparently not. As far as P&G is concerned, dads simply don't exist.
Frankly, I've had enough. I've spent more than 15 years looking at—and critiquing—advertisers' portrayals of fathers, and like most dads, I find that the majority of advertising is rather irrelevant to me. But there's a difference between creating ads that are irrelevant and creating ads that completely deny that fathers exist. (Even Jif peanut butter, famous for their “Choosy Mothers Choose Jif” slogan, occasionally proclaims that “Choosy Mothers and Fathers Choose Jif.”) As a single dad, I do all the shopping for my family and I've spent a lot of money on P&G brands over the years. But as far as I'm concerned, P&G no longer exists. I'm taking my wallet elsewhere.
Now, don't get me wrong. There's no question, moms should be thanked. They do a lot. But when it comes to sports, research shows that dads play the primary role in sparking and instilling interest. Dads encourage their children and coach the teams. And dads are usually the ones who spend hours doing the physical practice: They pitch, swim, skate, kick, run, jump, and everything else to help their child gain the proficiency and edge—along with self confidence and resilience in the face of defeat—that every elite athlete needs to succeed.
Plenty of moms do the same, of course. But P&G already acknowledges all the hard work that moms put in. So why leave dad out?
Moms and dads each contribute different—yet equally important—things to their children’s development. One study, for example, found that children—boys and girls—whose fathers encouraged them in sports did better in school and had more successful careers later in life. And both moms and dads are striving to give their children the very best.
I have an MBA and understand quite well that women still account for the majority of household spending. But not 100 percent. Not even close. And with more and more men taking on a greater role at home—and doing a greater share of the shopping—the importance of dads as consumers is increasing steadily.
Earlier this year, Chris Routly, a stay-at-home dad in Pennsylvania, started a petition to encourage Huggies to end their “Ultimate Test: Dads” campaign, which a lot of fathers and plenty of mothers) found offensive. Huggies had the good sense to immediately respond and they’ve reworked the campaign to make it much more dad-friendly. Huggies clearly understands that dads account for a growing share of household spending and they understand that positive images build brand loyalty. Other companies, such as Volkswagen, have created campaigns that acknowledge dads, not only as consumers, but as caring, loving parents.
So here’s the message to P&G: This is the 21st century. Today's dads are involved at every stage of our children’s lives. Ignoring us as parents is insulting. And alienating us as consumers isn’t good for business.
If you agree—and I hope you do—please sign the petition at tinyurl.com/P-G-IncludeDadsPetition and urge Procter & Gamble to acknowledge the vital role dads everywhere play in our children’s lives.
posted in All Ask Mr. Dad
Dear Mr. Dad: My 3-year old has been going to the same daycare for 8 months, but he’s still anxious and nervous every time I drop him off. I know that young children can have anxiety problems about unfamiliar places and people, but hasn’t this gone on long enough?
A: I remember dropping off my oldest daughter (now 22) on her first day at daycare, and how hard it was to say goodbye and leave her in the care of people who couldn’t possibly love her as much as I did. And I still remember how she cried and didn’t want to let me go. She got over it within a few days (although it took me a lot longer), and most kids will do the same. But unfortunately, when it comes to separation anxiety, there’s no way to tell you what’s normal and what’s not.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad
Dear Mr. Dad: My mother-in-law has an opinion on every conceivable parenting topic. The problem is that those opinions are usually unwelcome and unhelpful. Besides that, every time she’s at my house, she insists on telling me (and my wife when she’s there) how we should raise our children. What can I do before I snap?
A: I know this is going to hurt, but try to think about things from her perspective. Like every other human being, your mother-in-law has a wide variety of life experiences. But does she have any reason to feel that her advice is better than anyone else’s? If, for example, she is or was a child psychologist or a professional in another parenting-related field, she may feel that her training and experience make her advice especially unique and important.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad
Dear Mr. Dad: My daughter is a really good kid, but she can’t seem to remember anything for more than five minutes. We constantly have to harp at her about things that should be habits, like brushing her teeth every morning. Is there something wrong with her? Why can’t she remember to do things like that on her own?
A: Unfortunately, you and your daughter aren’t living in the same world—at least not at the same time. In your world, people remember to brush their teeth (but do you always floss?). In hers, there are so many other things going on that it’s easy to get distracted. Things that seem critical to you may not even be on her radar at all. So expecting her to act like a mini adult is unrealistic.
What I’m getting at is that from what you’re describing, it’s pretty unlikely that there’s anything wrong with your daughter’s memory, other than losing track of time or having her priorities in a different order than yours. That said, there are a few steps you can take to keep her on track.
Again, the chances are good that your daughter’s behavior is completely normal, but stay sharp and be willing to go the extra mile if it seems like there’s something else at work here.
posted in All Ask Mr. Dad
Dear Mr. Dad: This might sound silly, but is there some way to tell if my daughter is a genius? She’s only seven but I think she’s a lot smarter than I am.
A: As parents, we’re always worried about how our kids are doing, and there’s no shortage of information on warning signs of some terrible condition, or red flags that might indicate something else. But it’s pretty rare to read about signs that our kids might be above average instead of below.
You’d think it would be a you-know-it-when-you-see-it kind of thing. And it can be. Sometimes. In England, a 4-year-old girl was recently accepted into Mensa (mensa.org)—a society of geniuses. Officially, one has to be a teenager to get accepted, but this little girl’s IQ came in at 159 (Einstein and Stephen Hawking just squeaked past her at 160). By age two she had taught herself to add and subtract and was reading elementary school books.
Cases like this are quite rare. And I’d bet that for every one of them, there are at least 10 kids who are just as smart but whose high intelligence goes unnoticed because they’re bored out of their minds and spend their time screwing around instead of working.
So what are the” warning” signs of extreme intelligence? Here are a few indicators suggested by the American Association of Gifted Children (aagc.org). Your daughter may be a genius (IQ of 140+), or just gifted (IQ of 110-140) if she:
If a few of the above are true for your child, it’s probably worth getting her tested.
Okay, assuming your daughter is really, really smart. Now what? Here are a few ways you can nurture and encourage her intelligence even if she is the smartest person in the room—including you.
posted in All Ask Mr. Dad
Dear Mr. Dad: Ever since my daughter turned 13, all she does is pressure my wife and me to buy her extravagant, overpriced clothing. We’re going through a bit of a rough financial patch and there’s no way we can afford what she’s asking for. Any advice?
A: Clearly you were never a teenage girl. Okay, neither was I, but I did survive my two oldest daughters’ bouts with teen wardrobe insanity and still have most of my hair. My youngest, who worships her older sisters and apparently was taking good notes during their adolescent years, is threatening to become a teenager herself in a few years and has already developed some very firm ideas about clothes.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad