Wild Goose Festival: Coming Full Circle

July 5th, 2011 § 1 Comment

Image by Muffet via Flickr

A couple of weekends ago I went to Wild Goose Festival at Shakori Hills here in NC. I was blessed that the event was so close, and that my wonderful husband covered for me at camp so I could be gone (generally it isn’t possible to take a full day off from camp, much less two full days in a row!). I don’t get the opportunity to be in a place where I am surrounded by people who share my theology, passions, interests, and beliefs so closely. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate diversity and am happy to be around folks with whom I disagree, but don’t we all like to be surrounded by an affirming, like-minded circle every once in a while?

Living in the middle of nowhere is nice, but it can be a bit overwhelming and at times discouraging. I’m blessed by my online community, and it is even more a blessing to meet them in person. I know this especially after having attended Big Tent Christianity last fall in Raleigh.

I was blessed to attend this first-ever historic event, modeled after the UK’s Greenbelt festival. I heard some incredible speakers, conversed with some incredible people, met a few of my favorite authors and theologians, and just had an all-around good time!

And although I didn’t expect it, one of the highlights of my experience was hearing the incredible singer/songwriter Jennifer Knapp. Yes, the Jennifer Knapp you remember from about 10 years ago. Yes, the Christian artist who revealed last year that she was a lesbian and had disappeared from the Christian music scene. That Jennifer Knapp.

I remember her vividly, having seen her a few times with my youth group. I remember my (straight male) youth minister commenting that he would marry her one day. That comment is even more amusing now, and of course for completely different reasons.

The last time i saw her was in 2001, almost exactly 10 years ago, at the Ichthus music festival in Wilmore, KY. I had just finished the 10th grade, and I had no idea that I would be an ordained minister 10 years later. I remember being really interested in boys, dating a cute soccer player for much of that year. I remember thinking it was really cool that Kirk Cameron was speaking at a Christian event (Nick at Nite was still airing Growing Pains) — who would have guessed how I would feel toward Cameron’s version of Christianity today? I remember sitting up late hearing some Lakeshore friends play Jars of Clay songs, and feeling like I was cool because I knew the songs, and even harmonies to some of them. I remember not showering for a few days, but it was OK because not many other folks did either. It was very, very dry and dusty.

Fast forward 10 years. Last weekend, I attended the Wild Goose Festival. I have just finished the ordination process and am a full clergy member of the UMC, and I only have an inkling of where I will be 10 years from now. I am not as interested in boys, but I am proud to have been married to a boy for 2 years now who is almost nothing like the cute soccer player I was dating in high school (except for the cute part). I thought it was really cool to see so many members of the LGBTQ community at a Christian event, being completely included, not hated or made an example of, just fitting in — who would have guessed how I would feel about that today? I sat up late with new friends, some of whom I respect greatly having read some of their work, sharing stories and drinks, feeling like I was included in a way I don’t often feel, because I had something to contribute to the conversation, like harmony over a melody. I didn’t shower while I was there, but it was OK because not many other folks did either. It was very, very dry and dusty.

It is incredible to have that feeling of coming full circle. It hasn’t sunk in until now the journey I have been on for the last 10 years. But when I heard Jennifer Knapp sing “Daddy, Daddy do you miss me …” and continue with the rest of the song “Whole Again,” I realized I was at a turning point in my life. I certainly don’t feel as put-together as I didn’t back then, but I have come to love the feeling of uncertainty and unknowing. Life is not a puzzle to be solved, but an adventure to be lived. The more I discover, the more questions I have, and the more I seek.

Of course this is a turning point in more than one way, the most obvious being that I will be starting a new ministry in September. Although I am fully still with the ministry of the camp I’m at now, I look forward to the challenges that await me. I know the experiences I had at Wild Goose and the relationships I have formed with new friends there will shape me and my ministry, and I look forward to what the next ten years have for me.

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Tagged: Christian, Christianity, jennifer knapp, Kirk Cameron, LGBT, life, ministry, Religion & Spirituality, Shakori Hills, wild goose festival

§ One Response to Wild Goose Festival: Coming Full Circle

Chasing the Wild Goose on Independence Day says:

September 10, 2011 at 5:36 am

[...] Wild Goose Festival: Coming Full Circle (revcooper.com) [...]

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