Men, Women, And Sexual Intimacy - What Most Of Us Want And How We Differ

Wednesday,at 4:26 am  

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In the course of my many years of counseling men and females, I've often worked with the sexual difficulties that usually happen between individuals dating. Probably the most common complaint from men concerning sex is frequency, and the most frequent complaint from woman is not enough emotional intimacy.

There's a very good reason why these are probably the most frequent complaints. Men and females are really different in relation to sex!

The biological sexual drive, or lack of it, relates to just how much testosterone is present. Men biologically have significantly more testosterone than ladies. Men's biology equips them to be prepared for sex most of the time, which can be nature's way of ensuring the survival of the species.

Females, however, typically don't experience a biological sexual drive unless they're in the middle of their period. This fact can create a huge problem.

I've frequently heard men complain that:

"It is not fair. The woman I'm dating is in command of our sex life. If she wants it, then we have it. If she does not, then I've got no say about it. Why does it constantly have to be her way?"

"The person I'm dating complains that she really needs to feel intimate just before we make love, but I get to intimacy by way of making love."

"I do not reach out for sex at all anymore due to the fact I'm tired of being rejected. The woman I'm dating says she would like to be pursued in a romantic manner. This feels like a no-win to me."

"I think if she actually cared about me and my desires, she would have sex with me even if she wasn't turned on."

I've frequently heard ladies complain that:

"He constantly appears to be ready for sex, but I do not feel turned on unless we're feeling close. I can't just watch TV all evening and then feel like making love."

"I generally feel turned off by sex, as if having sex is far more important than caring about me. Whenever I do what he wants, I feel used, and when I do not, I run into his frustration, resentment, blame or withdrawal. It seems like a no-win."

"The guy I'm dating usually comes to me like a needy little boy, eager for me to pacify him or validate him with sex. Ugh! There's nothing erotic about an insecure, desperate little boy!"

"There has to be something wrong with me. I just hardly ever feel turned on anymore."

The very real problem here, at least for most men under forty, is that they're biologically motivated and females are mostly emotionally motivated. Heterosexual ladies get turned on when their guy is warm, open, caring, and personally powerful. Most women aren't turned on by a man who's closed, distant, angry, blaming, or clingy.

The difficulties of frequency can get resolved as men and ladies learn to understand and accept one another's differences. To find out what those differences are, check out: david de angelo, double your dating deangelo and david deangelo cocky and funny.

Men have to understand and accept that females are not as biologically motivated as men are. When females can accept that a man's biology is really present for them, they can quit putting men down for it and begin supporting their men in creating much more emotional intimacy, romance, and individual power.

When a woman can appreciate as opposed to demean her man for his sexuality, she can discover ways of meeting his desires without feeling used.

Understanding and accepting each others differences and desires can lead both men and females toward much more satisfying sex lives.

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