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Jealousy is a complicated issue and it can be a destructive emotion if our partner is constantly making us jealous on purpose. I dated a lot of guys who did that. I normally tried to resolve the issue in the beginning but if it couldn’t be solved after trying so many times, I eventually gave up and left. And the guys only realized their mistakes and started treating me with respect after I started seeing a new man. It’s too bad that they only regret it when it’s already too late.

Normally, if my guy intentionally flirted with other girls to make me jealous, firstly I would express my anger and disappointments. As always, I only worsen the problem. I guess he really enjoyed knowing that I was jealous and hurt. So he made it more fun by being more flirtatious and even flirting with more girls! So, if you’re a woman like me, I’m sure you know, how I wish that my curses could come true!

And when honesty didn’t solve the problem, I decided to try another solution. I flirted with guys that he could see as a threat to our relationship. I knew that the strategy worked so well when he seemed sad all of a sudden and even ignored girls who talked to him. But unfortunately, he started to flirt with them again as soon as I became sympathetic towards him.

So I tried the next solution. I tried to ignore him and focus on my life. I hated girls who flirted with my boyfriend, so I had to be better than them. Therefore I worked hard, as a result I’ve become stronger, better and even more appealing to other men. But then, my action had caused him to feel more insecure, so he had to flirt with more beautiful and better women just to hurt me more and make me more jealous. Well! I actually should thank him for teaching me to be strong, because he didn’t give me any other choice than finding a better way to manage my jealousy. You know, some people would punch a wall to manage their anger, I’d work even harder so I’d be the best among those bitches. And in the end, I’ve become more focused on my goal, but I’ve also become heartless and emotionless. That’s because he always hurt my feelings every time I opened up, so he caused me to shut down emotionally. And I bet this is why some married women stop showing affection for their husbands. Because if they show affection, they’d probably end up getting hurt.

But I don’t want to be in an affectionless relationship. I want to be affectionate, romantic and supportive of my man without being mistreated by him. But after going through the same experience over and over again, now I realize that a man who would constantly try to make his partner jealous on purpose, is actually a jealous man who feels insecure about himself, he’s lacking self confidence and he also doesn’t feel confident about his relationship. He’s scared of falling in love, he’s scared of losing, he’s scared of rejection and he’s scared of failure. So this type of man is scared to get the woman he wants because he thinks he can win her by making her jealous. But he’s not scared to flirt with other women because he doesn’t have feelings for them, so if they reject him, it won’t hurt. And another reason a man makes his partner jealous can be because he wants to show her that he’s ‘hot’ and a lot of women would chase him. It’s like another way of telling her, “Hey! I can treat you like a trash. But lots of other women are willing to deal with a jerk like me. You’d better take good care of me or other women will!!”. Oh My God! He’s so worth it, is he?! Ok girls! Let’s compete with each other and see who’s gonna win that gentleman!

So, jealousy issue can become a big thing to a certain extent. At one point, I’m being forced to ignore it.  When everything is said and done, I’d just to leave it all to God to decide. And all I have left is my destiny. After suffering through the pain, I have to make up for the time that I’ve lost and do things that keep me occupied. Jealousy is such a waste of time. Plus if he doesn’t even care that I’m in pain then why should I care to be jealous? Therefore at this point I just let him do whatever, I just ignore him, ignore the women and ignore my jealousy. Even if I feel jealous, he’s not gonna be responsible for my feelings! So why can’t I just ignore him and focus on my life. If it’s meant to be, maybe one day he’ll realize that I have done my best to support him, but he hurt me in return and he sabotaged my efforts. Maybe one day he’ll realize what he’s missing. But, if it’s not meant to be, then I believe that God has a better plans for me and him. Maybe I’ll meet another man who feels confident in himself, who doesn’t get jealous easily and doesn’t have to make me jealous. And maybe he’ll meet a new girl when he’s finally ready and feels more secure in love. Whatever happens in the end, only He knows the secret.

 Jealous Guy – John Lennon

I was dreaming of the past
And my heart was beating fast
I began to lose control
I began to lose control

I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy

I was feeling insecure
You might not love me anymore
I was shivering inside
I was shivering inside

Oh, I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy

I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy

I was trying to catch your eyes
Thought that you was trying to hide
I was swallowing my pain
I was swallowing my pain

I didn’t mean to hurt you
I’m sorry that I made you cry
Oh no, I didn’t want to hurt you
I’m just a jealous guy, watch out
I’m just a jealous guy, look out babe
I’m just a jealous guy

Tags: How To Overcome Jealousy, Jealous Partner