Sure, there is murder and rape in New York, and massive fiscal problems. No ordinary person can afford to live in Manhattan, so it's become the domain of thieving investment bankers, the super rich fleeing the countries around the globe they have fleeced, CEO's who routinely rip off billions from shareholders, and all their attendant flunkies and servants.

But Big Mike isn't worried about the cost of living, corporate fraud, insider trading, or massive budget deficits. Oh No. As Big Mike prowls the city, flanked by bodyguards, he's concerned you might try to have some fun. Perhaps you might like to stay out late and party in the city that used to be the world's nightclub capitol. Oh no; Big Mike makes sure the clubs close early. Maybe you want to relax and have a smoke? Oh no, Big Mike has implemented draconian no smoking laws - even in bars. Maybe you've worked up a king sized thirst walking around the Big Apple, and you'd like to slake that thirst with a Big Gulp. Oh no, unbelievably enough, Big Mike is now about to outlaw large sized sugary drinks.

You land at JFK and think you're in the Home of the Free, Land of the Brave? Think Again. Big Mike's city makes Singapore look like Bangkok. If you've come to New York to lie cheat, and steal, (perhaps you've just taken a position with Goldman Sachs), then you're welcome in the Big Apple. But if you think you're going to do something really crazy, like order a large soft drink, you're just a dreamer. In the new America, the super rich don't just buy power - they also tell you exactly how to live.

Next up: Big Mike wants to know; did you wash your hands after you used the potty?

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