Sulekha Rawat: Memoirs

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Imagination

Posted by Sulekha Rawat on 3/26/12 • Categorized as Mine

spacer 
On the pristine cloak of my imaginative mind,
tiny traces of skin and caked-up blood under my fingernails,
are the only things left to remind me of you.
The scratches on my arm are testimony to my struggle with you.
Blood stains on my clothes tell a story of their own,
a gory, messy and bloodcurdling tale of a voilent tussle.

There was no corpse at the end of this struggle,
or was there? Do dead hearts count?
Is a lacerated and broken heart considered a victim?
Is the heartbreaker ever branded a criminal?

I didn't mean to scratch you or harm you in any way,
it was an act of self preservation.
I couldn't let you go, was afraid of being left alone.
I held on tight, gripped so hard,that
instead of bringing us closer,I pushed you away forever.

Maybe you didn't know the true meaning of love,
or you didn't care to understand its implications.
Just uttered 'Love you', one fine day and were done.
I treasured your love, basked in its warm shade.
I breathed in its sweet aroma,
lived for it every waking and sleeping hour.

So when you turned and walked away, something snapped,
I couldn't bear the thought of losing your love.
I had to make you see reason and understand.
My heart refused to believe you no longer cared,
It had to make an attempt to keep you within.

The more I struggled to voice my feelings,
the more you resisted my efforts to hold on.
My fingers dug into your arm,
you pried them off, one by one, bruising me,
hurting me, scratching my arm in the process.

I don't know if the blood on my clothes is mine,
or is some of it yours?
Can't make out who hurt whom more?
Whose pain is unbearable?

Was I wrong in loving you so much?
Or were you right in shrugging off my hand.
Should I have let you go without a fight,
or held on with all my might?

Sulekha Rawat
Tagged as: alone, fight, hand, Imagination, love, mind, pain, reason, warm

12 Responses to “Imagination”

  1. spacer Kriti says:
    March 26, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Letting go is always bloody – some the color of red and some invisible… Awesome Mitr

    Reply
  2. spacer sulekharawat says:
    March 26, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Thank you for the wonderful compliment, Mitr spacer

    Reply
  3. spacer Portia Burton says:
    March 26, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    very touching! The corpse of dead love isvery hard to carry.
    -Portia

    Reply
    • spacer sulekharawat says:
      March 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

      Portia, It is a heavy burden but so worth the pain spacer

      Reply
  4. spacer Janaki Nagaraj says:
    March 26, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    I second that…awesome. You seem to be mirroring my thoughts.

    Reply
    • spacer sulekharawat says:
      March 27, 2012 at 11:34 am

      Janaki, As writers we explore each and every medium and genre of prose and poetry and find our niche, thanks.

      Reply
  5. spacer Rachel says:
    March 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    I have a lot of trouble letting go as well. I'm in process now… spacer

    Reply
    • spacer sulekharawat says:
      March 27, 2012 at 11:35 am

      Rachel, letting go sometimes is like dying but we survive and move on.Thank you for sharing.

      Reply
  6. spacer tumultuousjourney says:
    March 26, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    This is an awesome piece, so true and heartfelt. I let go once of the wrong love, I let go of the one I should have held on too!

    Reply
    • spacer sulekharawat says:
      March 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

      Tumultuousjourney, Your name is very intriguing spacer We are young and we make mistakes but if someone is meant to be in your life, they will be spacer Thanks for the visit and the compliment.

      Reply
  7. spacer flimflamsam says:
    March 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    so sad. ex's suck. been there done that

    Reply
    • spacer sulekharawat says:
      March 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm

      Thanks and welcome Flimflamsam.

      Reply

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