Personal tools
  • Log in / create account
Views
  • Article
  • Discussion
  • View source
  • History

Jedi Mind Trick Your Future Boss Into Hiring You

From Wired How-To Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search
spacer
spacer
The ability to surf Craigslist is insignificant next to the power of the Force. Photo by Howie Le/flickr/CC

spacer spacer

"Mind tricks, or mind control, refer to a spectrum of Force powers that influenced the thoughts of sentient creatures, most commonly used to coerce into agreement by suggestion through voice manipulation, or to cause one to reveal information." Wookieepedia.

We're not necessarily suggesting you dress as Obi-Wan Kenobi for your next job interview. It's highly unlikely that approaching an interviewer, gesturing casually to the collection of hopefuls clustered in the reception area and muttering "those aren't the candidates you're looking for" will get you anything other than an escorted trip out of the building. Yet there are ways that you can use the power of your mind to nudge a potential employment outcome in your favor, to help you sidle into the career — or at least the job — that you want.

This how-to was written by Brad Moon, who spends his days playing with gadgets, complaining aboot the music his kids listen to, dispensing tech industry advice to tech-wary investors, writing Wired How-Tos, blogging for GeekDad — and slipping in Canadianisms whenever he can.

Contents

  • 1 Do Your Research
  • 2 Application
  • 3 Interview
    • 3.1 Dress Appropriately
    • 3.2 Time Your Entrance
    • 3.3 Manipulate Your Body Language
    • 3.4 Manipulate Your Actual Language
    • 3.5 Above All Else
  • 4 Promotion
  • 5 Suggest a Job

Do Your Research

You have access to the web; use it. Learn everything there is to know about a potential employer. Harness your internet force from within. Research tells you what sectors are hiring, what companies are likely to hire (based on factors like product demand), what skills are in demand and what it's like to work at a particular company.

Application

Newspaper want ads are old-school, while submitting applications one at a time through company HR websites or showing up for job fairs is time consuming — time that could be better spent playing Star Wars: The Old Republic. The most time-effective solution is searching for jobs through mass posting websites. With an account, you have access to more jobs, you can filter to more effectively target a specific job, automated tools make short work of some of the repetitious parts and some even have apps so you can stay up to date on new postings from your smartphone.

Follow instructions when submitting a resume and cover letter. Sorting through hundreds of applications is a painful process, and while you may think you're making a compelling case for yourself by providing a 20-page opus of your many professional accomplishments, in reality the reams of paper you forced a HR screener to leaf through have likely killed the possibility of ever meeting your potential future boss. Which means, of course, that they will never be your boss.

For spot-on tips on crafting that killer resume, check out our How-To.

Interview

Dress Appropriately

Before picking an outfit and accessorizing, it's worth knowing that studies have shown that within 10 seconds of meeting you, an interviewer has probably decided whether you're right for the job. Learn as much as you can about the company culture and tailor your interview appearance based on that knowledge. If the company favors jeans and T-shirts in the office, then conservatively dressed-up casual should be fine; if everyone wears dark-colored suits then anything less during an interview may well seal your fate. Forbes has a detailed guide for the guy who needs to dress for success. And for the ladies, here's Forbes' Dressing 101.

Time Your Entrance

Arrive early for the interview, but not too early. Sitting in the waiting room for 30 minutes gives off a whiff of desperation. Make your entrance about 10 minutes before you're scheduled and you give yourself time to relax while presenting a valuable punctuality vibe. Whatever you do, don't be late.

Manipulate Your Body Language

Be polite with everyone you encounter. Receptionist, other applicants, the delivery guy — anyone you meet. You don't know who might be observing or reporting on your behavior.

Shake hands with your interviewers, but be sure to do it the right way. (Sorry, but no fist bumps.) Dry off your hands to avoid the "eeeeew, I touched an amphibian" reaction. (Keep a tissue in your pocket for this purpose.) Pay attention to your grip, going with slightly firm to show you are confident and let go within three seconds. Take care to avoid crushing someone's hand — it's never good to have your future boss think you're out to dominate him, and personally injuring an interviewer never ends well.

Manipulate Your Actual Language

During the interview, use your voice to your best advantage — your voice can be used to project confidence, assertiveness and authority, which in turn has the effect of inspiring confidence in your abilities in your future boss. Guys should speak in a lower pitch, while women are better off avoiding highs and lows.

Speak loudly enough to be heard, but don't shout. Shyness and hesitancy can be interview killers, as they have the effect of raising doubts among the interviewers even if the answers you give are the 'right' ones. Don't talk too fast as this makes people think you're either nervous or giving them a sleazy sales pitch. Monotone is boring, so include some inflection in your speech, but whatever you do, avoid a higher tone at the end of every sentence (as though you are constantly asking a question?).

Note: Do not attempt to use The Voice; you are employing Jedi mind tricks, not Bene Gesserit manipulation.

Above All Else

Do not confront the person interviewing you. Do not compliment their hair. Do not smell their cologne or perfume. Do not attempt to use The Force to move their pen. Do not do anything that comes off as antagonistic or creepy.

Don't avoid questions.

After the interview, send a follow-up "thank you" e-mail.

Promotion

Being promoted to a new job within the company you already work for offers significant advantages when it comes to Jedi mind trickery. In particular, you have easy access to your target, your future boss. With this access, you have every opportunity to set the stage for your advancement. The ultimate goal in this scenario is to have your future boss already considering you as the ideal candidate for a job — before it's even posted. Don't resort to stalking or ambush water cooler conversations; the idea here is to be subtle, not forceful.

Be seen and be heard. Invisibility does you no good. But when you speak up, make sure you actually have something to say — nothing saps Jedi powers like spouting a bunch of time-wasting bafflegab in the middle of meeting just to be heard. Avoid openly criticizing others, and give the appearance of being a team player by turning negatives into positives. Speak in a confident, professional and concise manner.

Dress to impress. That doesn't mean wearing a tux to work, but you don't want to be noticed because you're the one who shows up dressed as though every day of the week is Casual Friday.

Network. Find out who your future boss listens to and cultivate contact with these people. Doing so gets into the head of your future boss in multiple ways: He or she sees you on a regular basis with the trusted lieutenants (positive association), you hear about potential issues and have the opportunity to be the one who helped resolve them, you may hear about an upcoming job before it's official (and will already have at least some of the inside scoop on what to say or not say during an interview). Ideally, one of these people might suggest you as a good candidate to their boss — your future boss.

Suggest a Job

Perhaps the toughest of all the Jedi mind tricks to pull off successfully, this one also has the highest potential payoff: landing your ideal job, created just for you. How do you manage to persuade a future boss to not only hire you, but to hire you for a job that doesn't exist?

Go back to step one: research. You need to find the company's two-meter thermal exhaust port (aka the weak spot in its operations). Ideally, this would be something that's been pointed out by the media, giving you more ammunition.

If you are successful in identifying a flaw that's costing the company in some way, put together the job description for a position that would address the weakness. Naturally, the job description will correlate nicely with your skill set and experience.

Identify your future boss — the person who has that ideal combination of standing to gain professionally from the new role, already having direct reports, and who would make sense to own the role within the current corporate organization — and contact them with a short, articulately worded pitch. Don't bombard them with all your ideas and job description up front; keep it short and simple with the goal of being asked to come in to discuss it.

Don't send the pitch to HR. Chances are, they'll file it in the round cabinet without giving it any thought.


This page was last modified 17:40, 24 April 2012 by amyzimmerman. Based on work by howto_admin.

spacer StumbleUpon
All text and artwork shared under a Creative Commons License.
Toolbox
  • What links here
  • Related changes
  • Upload file
 
spacer
spacer

Subscribe to WIRED

Renew

Give a gift

Customer Service

Navigation

Welcome to the Wired How-To Wiki, a collaborative site dedicated to the burgeoning DIY culture. Here you'll find all kinds of projects, hacks, tricks and tips on how to make each day better than the last. Anyone can contribute new items or edit an existing item.

Create an Article
  • Special pages
  • Recent changes
  • Help
Most Recent How-Tos
  • Turn Your Timid Toy Keyboard Up to 11
  • Evade Awkward Situations With Fake Caller Apps
  • Be a High-Tech Rock Star on the Road
  • Banish Annoying Video Ads From Your Internet Experience
  • Escape the Screen and Start a Summer Book Club
  • Prune a Behemoth Twitter Account
  • Entertain Your Pets With Gadgets While You're Out
gipoco.com is neither affiliated with the authors of this page nor responsible for its contents. This is a safe-cache copy of the original web site.