Sucking, like rubbing and fucking, is another way for two people to share pleasure, touch, and care. Specific skills, techniques, and positions are not as important as your consciousness about fellatio and the other person and yourself, at that moment in time. You'll do fine, if your frame of mind is in harmony with yourself and your surroundings. In Harmony: easy, relaxed, feeling safe, OK. You are a changing, alive being, and your mood will suit different activities at different times.

Sex is fun-that's why I do it. It gives me satisfaction for my friend to suck my cock, and for me to suck his. Let this be your inner guide, and you will do good by yourself and your friend. Notice, I'm not saying "you should have fun doing fellatio." I'm saying fellatio is joyful: sunny, agreeable, charming, cozy, giving, luxurious, passionate, inviting-if you're not having any of these, you're not doing fellatio, you're doing something else. When it stops being fun, it's time to stop, and find out what happened.

Fellatio is easy to do-all it is, is a penis and a mouth touching; a kiss in passing is fellatio. How they touch can involve anything you want to do, for as long as you want to do it. The most common form of fellatio has one person lying relaxed, on his back, and his friend fellates him.

It might seem like one person is getting all the pleasure as the other gives it-this is not true; each gives to the other and to himself: one gives his penis, the other his mouth; one gives his trust, the other his care; one feels the warm, caressing mouth, the other feels the strong, warm penis-and all are pleasing. It's true that the fellator doesn't always know what to do at first; he might be confused by old habits, cultural fears, or just inexperience-prolonged fellatio, like all human sex acts, must be learned, and learning anything takes time and patience.

Let's say you're with your friend, and you're kissing his body. Then you kiss his erect penis. This is a good chance to explore his penis with your mouth. How does it feel to your lips? Your tongue? Explore all around-feel it's shape, its thickness, its soft skin' the textured crown on top, with its meatus or opening; the fraenum or string-like portion coming down from the head to the ring of skin called the corona; the foreskin if he has one; the scrotum (his balls) at the base-explore all these with your lips and tongue tip.

Then, if you both want, explore the penis inside your mouth-let your lips slide over the head and down the shaft a little (watch the teeth!). how does it feel to your lips and tongue now? Move them around some. If you like, slide your mouth down farther. Notice the feeling of stretch in your jaws, and if the penis gets close to your throat, the beginning of you gagging reflex. Now slide the penis out of your mouth slowly, and see how that feels. Pause for a moment, to let is sink in. You might ask your friend what he experienced.

If I'm doing this, sucking someone, I usually begin to experience a warn closeness. In fact, I usually only like to suck someone when I really care a lot for him, and want to give myself as closely as I can. It's so intimate a mingling of two people: my mouth, gentle, expressive, strong, wet, warm. my speech part, the entrance for my breath, my lips; his crotch, his most sensitive, guarded physical center, his inner thighs, lower belly, testicles, and his thick pulsating penis rooted in and up through him. How delightful to share these. And his trust, his giving me his body, or mixing security and being.

There are lots of things to do with your mouth on his penis, like licking it all over, sucking on it, flicking your tongue tip rapidly across the top. One of the simplest and nicest actions is to move your mouth up and down on his penis. This is called sliding. Make a ring with your lips around the shaft. You'll need a thick padding of saliva to avoid irritation and give the richest, warmest sensations-don't be afraid of it, it's in the spirit of mud pies when you were a kid, and just a fun.You can slide slow or fast, and take as much penis into your mouth as you like. One neat action is to slide down as far as you can, and then draw his penis out slowly while sucking on it, like a peppermint stick.

For a more intense activity, you can slide faster and/or go deeper with your strokes. And for an even warmer closeness, you can also fondle and cup his balls in your hand, and add postillioning.

If you and he decide to bring him to orgasm, sliding is a nice way. If so, he'll probably appreciate stroking as fast and full as you can. Let me relate a few tips about this.

His experience will get more energetic and intense as he approaches orgasm. Your sliding will cause the most stimulation if you encircle your lips firmly around his penis and over the tips of your teeth. This makes a smooth, snug embrace, and helps avoid nips and amputations. Move your head up and down as if it were saying "yes," from just below the top of the penis to as far down as you like. Meanwhile, keep all the other parts of your mouth as relaxed as possible (actual "sucking" is not important here). As you go faster and deeper, get into a regular rhythm. If things start to get very excited, you can move from your shoulders and upper back instead of your neck, so that you're bouncing up and down with your whole upper body. By using these muscles you give more energy to your strokes and avoid fatigue better.

If you're wary of gagging, you can wrap one hand around the bottom half of the penis and slide on the top part. If so, it's nice to move your hand up and down too, doing it so that as your lips move up to the fraenum, your hand moves down to strike against the bone just above the penis (called the mons pubis) and also because your hand pulls the skin tight, which increases sensation. In fact, even if you don't use your hand too much, you can hold it at the base to pull the skin tight.

If you're really into giving every inch of goodness possible, you can add simultaneous sideways motions of your head. First, learn to do the sliding so it comes easily. Then, as you move up and down, rotate your head from side to side as if saying "no." The two motions need to be coordinated, so, for example, as you come up, turn your head from the center to the right, at the top turn your head to the left, and as you go down, back to the center.

Let me emphasize that the above actions take time to learn. The best way is by becoming familiar with one activity in an easy, relaxed way, and adding on from there. Doing a rapid slide may seem strange and uncomfortable, and if you experience it this way, it's best to take your time about learning it, and only when you feel very save, that it's OK with your friend and you to slow down, stop, or whatever. Remember, none of these activities is any big deal. What counts is you having a good time. Sometimes when I'm in my spiritual mood, I get into the feeling of this up-and-down motion on the erect penis. There's something very basic about it, as if I was sensing a bottomless glow coming up from below my mind. I believe that each of us has a genetic memory, a meaning as old and wise as the universe itself. We're not usually conscious of this, the base pattern for our life experiences. But the up-and-down on the penis is part of this pattern, and can trigger in us green-life warmth, as if the universe were saying, "Yes! This is very mysterious and good. Grow!" Pay attention and see what comes up.