Holy Taco

8 of the Best Sayings About the Moustache

By: Ian Fortey | 19/11/2012

The Morning Jolt: Opiate Suppositories

By: Ian Fortey | 19/11/2012

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: November 16th

By: Ian Fortey | 19/11/2012

The Morning Jolt: Dumb Ways to Die

By: Ian Fortey | 19/11/2012

The Fleshlight Box Incident: Aftermath

By: Ian Fortey | 19/11/2012

The Morning Jolt: Boys Night In

By: Ian Fortey | 19/11/2012

25 Things a Straight Guy is Afraid are Gay

The recent election in the US and the legalization of gay marriage in yet more states has made great strides for equality as it relates to sexuality. Back in the day, gay was the worst insult you could sling at someone on the schoolyard.

By:Ian Fortey|November 14, 2012

The Morning Jolt: The Dinner Party

Tonight's dinner is betrayal plus also perogies and maybe corn. Betrayal corn!

By:Ian Fortey|November 14, 2012

Help Jim Tews for the Love of God!

Hey everyone, remember Jim Tews? He used to write for Holy Taco until our secretary took out a restraining order against him and he wasn't allowed within 1000 yards of the building. 1000? That's a lot, Jim! Your ether-soaked rag will never knock anyone out from that far away?

By:Ian Fortey|November 13, 2012

The Fleshlight Box Incident

Not so long ago, the good people at Fleshlight got a hold of me and asked me if I’d like to review one of their newest products, the Alexis Texas Fleshlight, because I’m a journalist who reviews wang sleeves and then shares the results with you, my loyal fanbase. And I’m really good at it.

By:Ian Fortey|November 13, 2012

The Morning Jolt: Ask Propecia

Crack, it's the answer to everything.

By:Ian Fortey|November 13, 2012

Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead Recap (S3 E5)

Last week sure was intense wasn’t it? Can they keep up the intensity this week and, if so, does that mean another shitty cast member has to die? Oh man, I don’t know yet!

By:Ian Fortey|November 12, 2012

The Morning Jolt: Car Bows

No one likes you, rich people.

By:Ian Fortey|November 12, 2012

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Nov. 9th

Last week Wreck-it Ralph wrecked the box office and I actually saw it. Yes, I went to see a children’s movie, I am enlightened. But it had John C Reilly and Sarah Silverman so I assumed it would be good, and it wasn’t bad actually. I’m pleased with my choice even though I bought nachos and they were stale as shit.

By:Ian Fortey|November 9, 2012

The Morning Jolt: Farts in Italian

I will laugh at every fart, every time.

By:Ian Fortey|November 9, 2012

How to Fail an SNL Monologue

Saturday Night Live has been on TV since pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock and observed topical humor about Pocahontas and beavers before screaming “live from New Amsterdam it’s Saturday Night” at about 6 PM to a handful of Puritans who didn’t much care for the aggressive nature of that proclamation.

By:Ian Fortey|November 8, 2012

The Morning Jolt: Farming

Holy shit, chickens are made entirely of chicken.

By:Ian Fortey|November 8, 2012

5 Most Hated Moustaches in the World

It’s November and that means it’s also Movember by nothing but sheer coincidence. Not sure what Movember is? Well then you weren’t reading HT last year or the year before. But whatever – it’s about dudes growing moustaches to raise awareness for your nuts.

By:Ian Fortey|November 7, 2012

The Morning Jolt: The Elegant Ladies of Melbourne

She's a charmer, she is.

By:Ian Fortey|November 7, 2012

5 Ideas for the Next World of Warcraft Expansion

Warcraft, the Mists of Pandaria, has been live for just over a month, and that means it’s as new and cool as Frogger. More or less. It’s time to look forward now and delve into the future of the internet’s oldest and most vaunted MMO. What can the lizard development team do next to keep players interested?

By:Ian Fortey|November 6, 2012

Mocking Dead: The Walking Dead Recap (S3 E4)

After last week’s journey to meet the Governor, this week we’re back at the prisoner with a dead deer and two hungry zombies as someone shuffles around the prison yard leaving zombie treats because zombies go for carrion like ET going after Reese’s Pieces, apparently. Who’s this grisly deer hunter anyway and is anyone going to be squealing like a pig? I have no idea, the intro was very short. But whoever it is has great aim because they plunked two zombies right in the melon with a rock. Good shot.

By:Ian Fortey|November 5, 2012

The Morning Jolt: Let Me Bang!

Do it, Bro. Do it.

By:Ian Fortey|November 5, 2012

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Nov. 2nd

This week looks not too shay at the old box office after last week’s paltry effort. Did anyone at all go see Silent Hill Revelations? Of course not. Why would you? It’s a movie you watch on Netflix on a Wednesday morning when you’re hung over. So that’s something to look forward to. Anyway, in the meantime, here’s some new stuff for ya. Yay!

By:Ian Fortey|November 2, 2012

The Morning Jolt: GTA Cops

This should have stopped being funny after a few seconds, but I laughed the whole time.

By:Ian Fortey|November 2, 2012

It Came from the WalMart $5 Bin: Scary or Die

Look at the art on the box for this DVD, how could you not buy it? It features an evil clown. I couldn’t resist, despite not knowing anything else about the film. I refused to even read the back. Shut up and take my $5.

By:Ian Fortey|November 1, 2012

The Morning Jolt: Literacy

Learning to read is a b-b-b-bitch.

By:Ian Fortey|November 1, 2012

• Insane Muay Thai Fight (OfficialMagicPro)
• Erika's Rap! (truTV)
• 7 Things You Didn't Know About NASA (Ranker)
• Shannon Elizabeth's American Reunion (Popoholic)
• Lesser Known Video Game Easter Eggs (AdultSwim)
• Alice In Wonderland All Grown Up (RegretfulMorning)
• Jessica Jane Clement Hotness (Guysim)
• Iron Man vs Bloody Piss (filmdrunk)
• A Supernatural Supermarket? (TheDailyWhat)
• Gia McCool Hotness (GorillaMask)
• Your Local Campaign Office Poster (IAmBored)
• Girl Freaks Out In Evolution Class! (BroBible)
• Antonio Banderas Got Pickpocketed (CelebSlam)
• Pizza Roulette (SuperBooyah)
• Josh Hopkins Has A New Therapist (FunnyCrave)
• Self Hi Five (Lulz)
• Stacie Marie Hotness (TheSmokingJacket)

• 8 of the Best Sayings About the Moustache
• 5 (plus 1) More Big Announcements from Donald Trump
• 25 Awesomely Creepy Christmas Portraits
• 10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don't
• The 10 Most Worthless College Majors
• The Douchiest Phone Message In History
• If Movie Posters Were Honest
• Cheerleader Fight!
• 25 Pics of Bizarre Japanese Packages
• Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: November 16th