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The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
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The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side.
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride
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The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too.
He'll do anything in his power
To show his love to you.
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The perfect man is sweet,
Writing poetry from your name.
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
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He has never made you cry
Or hurt you in any way.
Oh, "to hell with this stupid poem,"
"Cause the perfect man is gay!"

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Idiots in the Room

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
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