This week, Alaska AKA Tim and I talk about the music of The UnderAchievers, The Sea and Cake and gay jewish rapper named Soce the Elemental Wizard. Top that!
www.syffal.com/the-underachievers-the-sea-and-cake
Hello all. This is that thing where I tell you where I will be performing in the near future. Since new things pop up here and there, I’ll be adding new shows to this post as they come. As of now, there aren’t tons but let’s just set this shit off…
Europe dates:
3/22/13 Hamburg, Germany @ Mojo
W/DJ CAM
3/23/13 Berlin, Germany @ Cassiopeia
3/27/13 Bratislava, Slovakia @ Nu Spirit
3/28/13 Ljubljana, Slovenia @ Gala Hala
3/29/13 Cluj, Romania @ Boiler Club
W/ DJ CAM
3/30/13 Wil, Switzerland @Gare De Lion
W/ Dj CAM
Back in the states:
4/5/13 Durango, Colorado @Henry Strater Theater
4/6/13 Denver Colorado @ Cervantes
W/ Polish Ambassador
More dates to come!
I hope everyone has recovered nicely from Super Bowl Sunday or “super bowel sunday” , as I like to call it. Here we are, back again with another installment of that thing where you ask me stuff and I answer it. I’m an open book. So, if you have any questions at all, about anything, ask me. Leave the questions in the comments section below OR email them to at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Unless the question is a repeat, too stupid to comprehend or too personal (I think that’s only happened like twice), I answer them all. So, get on that.
Here’s this weeks batch…
I know you aren’t into ghosts and shit but what’s the creepiest, chilling, back-hair raising ghost story you’ve ever heard?
Because I don’t frequent campfires with children very often, I haven’t heard many ghost stories. The ones I have heard tend to induce eye rolls for me as , in most cases, everything that happened could be explained, therefor, debunking the reality of a ghost actually existing. However, there was one I heard recently (I forget who told it to me but it was definitely someone I know well and respect as a human) that was kinda scary. She told me about living in some old house off campus when she went to college in upstate NY. I forget all the details but it involved tons of slamming doors and rattling windows. While this could easily be explained by wind, the thing is, whenever this would happen she’s go and check and the air would be completely still outside. Still, it coulda have been gusts but I’m forgetting huge parts of this story so it’s not like I’ll convince you. I just clearly recall hearing the full story and thinking “hmm…that’s kinda fucked up…”.
I was putting together a mix of songs for a new year’s party & I noticed about how many of my favorite artists have put out so much quality music & then suddenly stopped. Not that they stopped making music but with many of my all time favorites they just started putting out kinda shitty music. Not complete trash but definitely not as good as the old stuff. Not naming names, (Gza) but I think I attribute it to laziness and complacency. Its like they are ok with falling off and just phoning it in. Is this just a fact off life and everyone falls off eventually and these cats just accept it and are just milking it for what it’s worth? Can this be avoided? Is it all about staying hungry?
Falling off happens. I think the higher you ascend , the harder you fall. A dude like the GZA had a classic album under his belt and then probably toured extensively, made lots of money and was in a different place when it was time to do a follow up to that classic. This happens to more artists that you know. I feel like touring a lot can hurt the creative growth of an artist cause , if you’re away for like 6 months at a time, you’re not on the ball. You’re in tour mode. It’s like being in a catatonic state. I’m sure some of these guys would get off tour , recalibrate , and by the time they were ready to make a new album, the entire landscape of music had changed. Music, especially hip hop, moves so fast you have to actually pay close attention if you wanna keep up.
But, beyond just hip hop, falling off is a fact of life. There is not a single famous artist who’s been making music for 15 plus years who hasn’t dropped a stinker or two. Whether it’s cause that artists changes for the worst, loses his drive to create, or takes bad advice from yes men…it eventually happens. Sad but true.
So I was just taking a shit and the placement of my dick when I sat down just about caused me to piss all on my (ankled) pants. This is a phenomena unrelated to size of your member…it’s an effect of carelessness. Ever happened to you before?
I’d definitely say that is a result of carelessness. Do you not tuck it while you sit? This has never happened to me as I learned from a young age how to pee while taking a shit. The only thing I can say that’s happened like that to me would be having pee leak out the front of the toilet seat due to shoddy craftsmanship.
This does remind me of the time my friend told me “Hey, don’t you hate when you’re taking a shit and you dick touches the water?”. It was right then that I knew my friend had a really big dick. Which is not something you ever really need to know about your friends.
88 or 94? in ur opinion what was the single greatest year in hip-hop?
I’d actually argue that while those might be the two most important years where hip hop took a leap forward, neither are the best. I’m more of a 91 kinda guy. But the thing is, even deciding that is splitting hairs. Hip hop from 88-94 was my favorite period in music ever. Without 88, 94 wouldn’t have ever happened. So, while the music that came out in 94 was probably more enjoyable and holds up better today, 88 was a year where things got rolling. Big Daddy Kane, The Jungle Brothers, Rakim, BDP.
Not to mention, I think part of the reason people hold 1994 in such high regard is cause it was the year “illmatic”, “Ready to die” and “Southernplayalisticcaddilacmusic” came out. All classic albums that changed the game…but personally? I’ll take 91. rateyourmusic.com/list/Madvillain/ego_trips_25_greatest_hip_hop_albums_1991 That’s an insanely good list. Better than 94′s easily, in my opinion.
Hypothetically you’re on the first date/first night out drinking(I don’t date that shits a mystery to me) with some seemingly chill chick who’s, lets say a 9, when things go smoothly and you end up at her place. She wants to fuck. However, she says she’s only down to fuck if you put anal beads in your ass. (Supposedly a friend of a friend of a friend had this shit happen to them after hooking up with this chick from craigslist…)So you’re about to cum and you do, but as you do she pulls the beads and you shit everywhere. You run in the bathroom embarrassed. You come out still a bit red in the face to find this chick rubbing your feces all over herself. You bolt. Would you put the beads in your ass to get with this hottie? If you did and got to the point where you had just left after wiping your ass in her bathroom and just seen her wiping shit all over herself, do you tell anyone about it?
Questions like this scream “I’m a virgin”. Just saying. But, I’m here to answer even the dumbest questions so I’ll go forward.
First off, I don’t care how hot the girl is. Anal beads inside of me is just not happening. The notion that , because a girl is soooo hot that she could get a grown man to do something he’s 100% doesn’t want to do in the bedroom is ridiculous. Sure, a beautiful woman could get a man to do tons of dumb shit. Kill a man, fuck over his family, end friendships…but sticking things up his ass when he’s not into it? Not gonna happen. Even dirt bags have their limits.
So, let’s just say, for the sake of discussion, I did let that happen. I cum ,shit and run to the bathroom and come out and see her playing with my fecal matter. Would I tell anybody? OF FUCKING COURSE! In fact, I’d probably write about it on this very blog and just tell my mom to skip that entry. How could I not tell people that? That’s insane. Also, I’d never ever ever ever see that girl again as she is a disgusting pig.
Give’em Hell By Prodigy and The Alchemist
www.divshare.com/download/23662859-d1e
I won’t lie. There are very few old rappers out there still making music effectively. All my heroes have, for the most part, stopped delivering over a decade ago. So, when one of them beats the odds, it feels good.
In the case of Prodigy, he fought off irrelevance simply by not giving a fuck. It also doesn’t hurt that he linked up with The Alchemist, who also seems to be having a career renaissance.
This song is from their up coming album “Albert Einstein” and it succeeds cause they simply just did what they do. Nothing wrong with that at all.
Here’s the first single/video from “capture the sun”, the album I did will Illogic on Man Bites Dog records.
It’s the title track and it features Slug from Atmosphere on the hook.
Enjoy and cop the full album when it drops in April!
Another two weeks have passed (A whole fortnight, bro), so it’s time for me to review some more demos sent in by readers. To reiterate , as always, they did this by choice cause , for some reason, they want to know what I think of their music.
To those of you budding artists who just read that and thought “Hey, i wanna send music in to you as well so you can possibly shit on my dreams too!” I say “Hold your horses”. I’m not accepting new submissions right now but, when I am, I will make announcements on all my social networks. So, don’t send anything to me right now if you actually want me to listen to it. I only accept demo’s when I ask for them,
Anyhoo, this is pretty simple. I listen to the demo’s, do a brief write up and then rate them from 1-10 in these categories
Production:
Vocals:
Listenability:
Originality:
I’m tough, but fair…but also I have unfairly high/particular standards so, you know, you’ve been warned.
Artist:Solists
Song:In the VIP
I’m skeptical of any song that begins with a dude talking to me like he’s trying to fuck me. I’m also bugged out by this actually being an instrumental track. I would assume that sexy talking would lead into some rapping or singing. That said, this is a fairly smooth little soul type instrumental. It’s kinda all over the place but it’s put together well. I feel like I’d appreciate this more if I A)Drove a car b)Went to clubs ever.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:N/A (but 1 out of 10 for that smooth talking bullshit)
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10
Artist:Toy Breaker
song:Plumes
This is a cool beat considering it’s using possibly the most played out drum track ever. I dunno if this really qualifies as a “song” until the last minute as it’s just the same thing for most of the track. But, still, it’s a dope little chop with some nice layers that come in eventually. My advice: Find a new break that wasn’t already played out in 1990.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:N/a
Listenability:5 out 10
Originality:3.5 out of 10
Artist:Unbelievable Truth
Song:Everything
Have I grown out of white guy struggle raps? Maybe. This guy is fine as a rapper. It just seems like it’s been done endlessly. The thing is, it’s not that he’s biting anyone..there are just tons of other rapper doing the same thing naturally. I guess, all over the world, white dudes who love rap are coming to an emotional crossroads in life that they feel needs to be addressed via lyrical miracles.
Production wise, it’s okay. I liked it more before the drums dropped.
Production:3.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10
Artist:Soma79
Song: I could live forever
This dude hasn’t rapped very long. I can see that he’s more of a writer than a rapper and that’s not uncommon. It’s not that he’s off beat or anything it’s just the rhyme are never in the pocket. Like it took a lot to just get them off the page. I know that feeling all to well…it’s kinda why I gave up on rapping.
The production is just kinda there. No real mood to the beat. I dunno. Pretty boring over all.
Production:3 out of 10
Vocals:3.5 out of 10
Listenability:3.5 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10
Artist:Caucasian Soup
Song: Poncho Monster
Before even hearing this, holy shit, do I hate this name…Caucasian soup? Really dudes.
The first guy kinda sounds like a soft Funkdoobiest or something. He’s not the worst though. The second guy might wanna rethink things as a rapper. He literally said “Rippin’ and flippin”. Not a good look in 2013. The third guy sounds foreign. Is this canadian? I’m confused. All thing considered, the song is strangely engaging and I can’t figure out why.
The beat is minimal and pretty wack…but it serves it’s purpose for what they were going for , I suppose.
Production:2 out of 10
Vocals:3 out of 10
Listenability:3.5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10
Artist:Jumbled
Song:Mic By Mic
Good lord. I really had high hopes when it began. The rakim sample and beat worked well then BAM…the beat got terrible and the rapping got worse. I mean…damn. These dudes have no business rapping at this current juncture in life. They’re simply not ready for recording.
Production:2 out of 10
Vocals:2 out of 10
Listenability:2 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10
Artist:Karmessiah
Song:Gucci Tacos
This is interesting. unlike a lot of the other submissions this week, at least this sounds current. The beat is very much what’s hot right now. Minimal drums and such. I think it’s cool but I don’t love it. The rapper is decent. But, honestly, after listening to these other demos, dude sounds like a polished professional so he’s winning simply off comparison. Also, “gucci tacos” is a funny title.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10
Artist:Subsketch
Song:Permanent Vacation
The beat is the star here. It’s not amazing but it’s got a cool vibe to it and it’s well made. The changes are nice too. The rapping…well…it’s fine. I have my issues with taking foreign rapper seriously so I’m kinda biased here. He’s not bad at all…it’s just not for me. But, this is an undeniably well crafted song.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10
Artist: LMNtlyst
Song:Sock Less Monster
I hate to judge by name but this name by actually be worse than “Caucasian soup”.
Luckily, the music is much better than caucasian soup. I Don’t know if it’s really a strong enough beat to stand alone as an instrumental track (it could use some rapping or singing for sure) but it’s still pretty good. Kinda reminds me of a beat you might find on cutting room floor at the dungeon family studio.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:N/a
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:5 out of 10
Artist:The Union
Song:It’s funny
This song has a strangely comforting vibe. I think it’s the beat. it just feels like a comfortable place. Like it’s 1997 again or something. The rapping is actually pretty mediocre and sloppy but the beat kinda holds it all together. This is one of those listenable but not great songs that might sneak on a mixtape of someone who doesn’t pay close attention.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:3 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10
Which one did you like the best? VOTE MOTHERFUCKERS!
This week, Tim AKA Alaska and I discuss the work of possibly the most embarassing white rapper alive, Toad