Monkey Banters
Category Archives: Banters
Crème brulée wouldn’t be so expensive if they just called it burnt cream
by Brett Popplewell –
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and looks like a duck It must be a duck But if it just looks like a duck Then it’s probably Joan Rivers Saving face has a whole other meaning when your face is held together by two elastic bands and a vat of papier-mâché [...]
Adam West was not a rubberist
by Brett Popplewell –
Dennis the Menace was a juvenile delinquent Charlie Brown was a complete and utter loser You would be too if you were stuck in the same grade since 1950 Garfield never moved his lips when he talked Ray Charles never stopped moving his head when he sang Some people just don’t know any better People [...]
Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just dying
by Brett Popplewell –
I have not supped on truffles in a French crêperie Nor blown snow from the peak of Kilimanjaro But I have drunk Bordeaux in Bordeaux And watered a tree in La Mancha They say the world is your oyster I say it’s my urinal If a man holds a door for you It means he’s [...]
Proverbs don’t always make sense
by Brett Popplewell –
The Chinese say when a tree falls the monkeys scatter And one mouse dropping ruins the whole pot of rice porridge They also say three people can make up a tiger Proverbs don’t always make sense Neither do my tax returns Delinquency is a term best used to describe misbegotten miscreants Not poor sods who [...]
All old people are intrinsically racist
by Brett Popplewell –
They say beating a dead horse won’t get you anywhere But that doesn’t make it any less fun I understand you can’t get blood from a stone But I’d like mine back from the mosquitoes There’s nothing funny about ripping limbs from an insect And yet here I am about to hit cook With a [...]