No Touch Monkey! was recently honored by Buzzfeed as the 16th of 20 Of The Most Awkward Memoirs Ever Written. I claim this mantle in honor of simians the world over.

Goober Goober HEY! Looks like Christmas is coming early, even if Peanut won’t be hitting the manger til the day after. The lootin’ nut elves have the story, so click em!

(everybody sing along!)

The thrill’s gonna getcha
When you see  my picture
On the cover of the Rollin’ Stone…

Hardly. But I have been gigging a bit for the Gray Lady.

The online edition. Some folks think that’s steerage class, but I’d recommend taking a look at the ship’s layout before making assumptions about who’s going to drown first

Here’s an archive of that which the New York Times has seen fit to publish. Who cares how old this fish is? You can still leave a comment.

A really neat opportunity fell into my lap recently. My assignment was to ask one question. Another art-loving soul would be charged with providing an answer.  After which I would find out who the hell I was interviewing. My question:

How can we keep pre-digital communication’s most pleasurable rituals from becoming extinct?

If you’re not dazzled, inspired, and touched by artist Betsy Biggs’ incredible answer you need to log off the internet and get those presents back to Whoville, stat. Of special interest to those with a fondness for postcards and Providence. That’s all I’m sayin’…

@betterymagazine

I’ve got a sweet new gig, blogging for Open Culture, an insane source for free cultural & educational media on the web. So go ahead and learn yourself another language, take a complimentary college course, and feast on catch-free movies and music, and while you’re at it, we’d be much obliged if you’d leave a comment on any content that bears the byline of your addled cultural Virgil, our hero Ayun Halliday.

Mary Keitany, Tsegaye Kebede, several billion baby shoes, and the Zinester’s Guide to NYC!

Thanks to the Society of American Travel Writers Foundation for awarding the bronze medal to the ZG2NYC in the annual Lowell Thomas Travel Journalism Competition

Make your Cape Cod fantasies a reality in Greg’s childhood home! You’ve read about it in the East Village Inky. Why not live a little and rent it? By the week, by the month…ideally your dowager Great Aunt will be footing the bills.

My sister in law is handling the rentals for 2012, so while I am happy to answer any questions you may have, for hardcore nitty gritty stuff like rates and scheduling, please address yourself to Beth Kotis, beth.kotis (at) gmail.com

Make this Funky, Four-Bedroom House in the back woods of Wellfleet  your Cape Cod pleasure dome this summer.

This unique, private home was designed by students at the Rhode Island School of Design who tailored the mid-century minimalist architecture  to the natural surroundings.

The house is situated off a dirt road on a very private lot in the area described in Henry Thoreau’s Cape Cod.  Our back yard terminates in Williams Pond. A five minute stroll through the woods will get you to a wonderful swimming pond, with the quiet ocean beach depicted above five minutes further on.  Enjoy a tranquil view from the back deck, pick blackberries in season, and browse through well-stocked bookshelves and boxes of records. Those who require brand spanking new accommodations may be happier elsewhere, but literary souls who value quirky character will find this one-of-a-kind residence an unpretentious, comfortable home base for exploring Wellfleet’s back woods.

* Master bedroom has king sized bed with brand new mattresses and a private deck.

* Three additional bedrooms: one with a double bed, the other two have one twin per.

* Two bathrooms – one with spacious, walk-in shower, the other with shower and mini-tub.

* Fully equipped, eat-in kitchen with dishwasher and cappuccino machine! (no microwave but pots, bowls, baking dishes, and corn butlers aplenty!)

* Fireplace, television & (kick it OLD SCHOOL!) VCR in living area

* Dining area with huge table

* Washer/dryer

* Weber grill

* Beach toys galore! Land toys too!

Available June, July, September (and select weeks in August)

More photos available on request… our album on Facebook should whet your appetite, though don’t let the wax sculpture we floated in the pond freak you out … it’s safely back in California with its creator)

Contact Beth Kotis, beth.kotis (at) gmail.com