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Eroticon 2013 – K D Grace’s Ten Minute Erotica Writing Exercise

Fresh from the inspirational, stimulating and exceedingly welcoming weekend that was Eroticon 2013 (let’s learn to writesexright, write rite right?!), I thought it would be fun to share the scripts some of us wrote in the final Creative Writing session of the conference.

Experienced and encouraging author K D Grace set us the exercise of beginning a narrative in medias res – from the midpoint of the story. She suggested we write for ten minutes, starting slap-bang in the middle of the action: no preamble, no introduction, no easing the reader in gently.

I found this a fascinating challenge time-wise, as I soon realised that with my method of writing, using pen and paper extremely was tricky because I was constantly editing and revising what I’d just written. Instead, I had to move onto Notes on my iPhone so that I could move sections of text around and delete and amend as necessary. This had the result of a rather short and embarrassingly clichéd paragraph of text: I don’t really go for the ripped, athletic type, but nonetheless my female character was mesmerised by her man’s unusual physical prowess. Please don’t hold it against me…

Emily studied Nick as he stood there, feet planted firmly on the ground and parted slightly to accommodate his burgeoning desire. She let her gaze travel upward, tracing over the rough terrain of his finely defined abdominals, up to the broad plains of his chest and then across to his wide shoulders. Finally she let her eyes climb to his lips, where a slight smile rested at the corners, belying good humour as well as expectant arousal.

So now it’s your turn: ten minutes of your unedited/ uncorrected prose please, and yes, you can also try this at home kids – just remember to start in medias res (in the middle of the drama). Exciting times!

Rainbow Bright

Some people welcome a dry day as the perfect opportunity to go for a long country walk or hang the washing outside on the line.

Personally, I love it when it’s not raining because it means I can dip into my suede shoe collection – much neglected over the past few months for obvious meteorological reasons – and pull out little gems like these Irregular Choice beauties.

These shoes may be (loved and worn) orange with an accompanying array of multi-coloured stripes, but for me it’s the purple edging and reflective gold heel that, as the fashionistas like to say, really makes this pair pop. And I do like poppage, I like poppage very much indeed.

So bring on the Spring, because I have a huge suede shoe selection just waiting to be revived. It’s like a whole fresh wardrobe of fashion expression. In fact, I advise you to dig your sunglasses out now in preparation, as the brightness of my Spring-Summer footwear may well sting your hitherto wintery eyes. You have been warned!

Eroticon 2013: Write Sex Right Meet and Greet

This year I’m all a-flutter about attending my first ever Eroticon, the conference for sex bloggers and erotic writers. I’m a year behind the event, which held its inaugural get-together in 2012, so I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone there.

Name: Mia More

Twitter id: @irregular_voice

Must attend Eroticon 2013 session: Having seen both Petra Boynton and Meg Barker speak at the Science Of Sex festival in Brighton last month, I think their academic take on ‘Erotica, its role in relationships & expanding sexualities’ will be fascinating. I love feeding my inner geek, and this looks like the perfect session in which to indulge…

I’m also interested in Ruth and Les Browne’s ‘Disability and Sex’ talk, as I think it’s a very important subject that deserves far more exposure than salacious Red Top papers screaming about sex workers in care homes (the work of whom, happily – and unusually – most commentators seem to support in this instance).

Bloggers you’d like to be trapped in the lift with: All the bloggers and industry experts I’ve met online but never in person – too many to mention, so let’s just say I’m intrigued and excited! I’m especially looking forward to meeting the wonderful writers who contribute to Cliterati: Lucy Felthouse, Lady Pandorah, Molly Moore, LadyLaidBare and of course the lovely Blacksilk who I’ve already spent a happy hour with in Cardiff.

Erotic writer you’d like to write dramatize your life story: I enjoy the fast pace of Sylvia Day’s Crossfire books, and since my life seems to be non-stop drama(!) I think she’d write it very well.

Expected biggest fangirl / fanboy moment: I’m hoping to meet Cindy Gallop, as I really like her makelovenotporn idea. I wish the American blogger Maggie McNeil (The Honest Courtesan) was coming, as she’s got a great brain on her shoulders and I’d love to pick it – I really admire her writing.

What keeps you awake at nights? Mentally organising what I’m going to achieve the following day (which is ridiculous, since it generally leaves me sleep-deprived andtherefore too tired to fulfil all my carefully-laid plans), the family laundry (it’s a constant battle), and being excited about the big girlie get-together at Eroticon 2013.

See who else is coming to Eroticon 2013 in the Meet & Greet link up

New Blue

If I’ve been quiet on the school-run shoes front recently it’s not because I’ve fractured a toe again and had to resort to flats, rather it’s because the persistent rain (it’s been wet weather, like, pretty much a year now) has limited me to my wellies, waterproof DC trainers (sneakers) or gold Kurt Geiger boots – with only a few sunny heels days thrown in for good measure.

But finally today was one of those rare sunny days here in the UK – at least ’til sunset (yes, it’s raining again now) – so here I am wearing my United Nude colour block wedge Delta shoe-boots (or something) with a pair of black skinny jeans from Next.

This reminds me: if you haven’t yet invested in a pair of Next’s Lift, Slim and Shape jeans I suggest you do – if you can get hold of them, that is, as only the black skinnies ever seem to be in stock as they’re seemingly less popular (I’ve been after a blue pair for months). The jeans also come in Bootcut and Slim styles in both blue and black.

Anyway, being a colour block fiend, when I first saw these crazy Delta shoes online I just had to had them. And so I waited until the sales – no, not the United Nude 30% off sales, but the End Of Season ‘you will never see them this cheap again, up to 70% off’ kinda sales. Not that they were cheap, per se, since they’re United Nudes, but they certainly weren’t the original £310 (I know – can you imagine?!), so really I saved money. Well that’s how I justified my £93 anyway…

These Deltas are heavier than I’d anticipated, and since I’m good at high heels, believe it or not they’re trickier to walk in than I’d expected (mainly because the inner sole is so hard under your feet), but thankfully the chunky platforms balance out any potential ball-of-the-foot high heel related discomfort. And they look fab. Right?!

That Was the Week That Was (#136)

Toy Review: Top Three Vibrator Wands for Valentine’s Day Gifts 2013

The Eroscillator 2 Deluxe

The Eroscillator may not be the best-looking sex toy – in fact, I think it’s potentially the ugliest I’ve seen – but it’s got a great personality and a fantastic sense of humour: after all, where else would you find a bristled attachment called The French Legionnaire’s Moustache (yes, you guessed it: it’s the bristly one to the left of the picture)? And which other wand would you give you orgasm after orgasm without inflicting the throbbing of a million nerve endings screaming in protest afterwards?

Yes, that’s right, you heard correctly: because The Eroscillator oscillates (moves from side to side) rather than vibrates, it leads to a less numbing experience than other wands. By this I mean that it gives you a far better build-up to your orgasm, which means that you can continue using it without your bits dropping off in disapproval, which in turn gives you more potential for multiple orgasms – and squirting.

The Eroscillator is lighter and far more silent than other wands I’ve tried, and unlike many other brands the manufacturers haven’t stinted on the cable which is nice and long (a small point but one worth making). It does take a bit of getting used to with regards to the bizarre attachments but thankfully the heads are much softer and more flexible than they look from the photos. My favourite attachment is the Golden Spoon, and having heard great reviews of the silicone Ultra Soft Finger Tip (which sounds more like my kind of thing) I was disappointed to learn that the manufacturers of The Eroscillator only include it in the Deluxe Soft Finger Combo which Lovehoney doesn’t sell. But thankfully you can buy the Ultra Soft Finger Tip and other attachments separately from the official Eroscillator website.

Apart from the unattractive appearance and non-inclusion of the Ultra Soft Finger Tip in Lovehoney’s particular package (and please note I’m just splitting hairs in both cases), if I had one real criticism of The Eroscillator – and bearing in mind this the only real criticism – it’s that using the switch control slider isn’t entirely obvious when you’re in the throes of passion since visually and feel-wise it doesn’t stand out from the rest of the toy.

Well, I call it toy, but that would be to do it an injustice as the Eroscillator really does live up to the hype, especially if you’re someone who struggles to reach orgasm or you’d like to learn to squirt – and yes, in my experience squirting can be learned (in which case you may also like to buy an additional G-spot toy to help you on your way – I recommend the Glass Intimo Minako G-spot Dildo).

If you like a sensuous orgasm as much as a wham-bam-thank-you-Mam functional climax then The Eroscillator’s for you. In fact, without hesitation I’d say it’s for every woman out there – especially those of you who struggle to come, since the manufacturers claim that it’s “proven to bring 87% of unorgasmic women to orgasm.” Personally, I can honestly say that every time I use it it’s the most incredible experience: I don’t normally have to put a towel down before I use a toy ‘just in case’, but with The Eroscillator…well, let’s just say it’s hard not to go with the flow.

The Eroscillator may cost £169.99 but even if it were twice that it would be money well-spent, as it’s worth the hype – and then some. If you live in the UK just remember to buy a plug converter to go with it because believe me, you may well have a favourite toy sex now, but once you’ve tried The Eroscillator there’s no going back. In my opinion (and I’ve tested hundreds of sex toys) you will not find a better clitoral stimulant on the market: it’s the stuff credit cards were made for.

The Eroscillator is available for £169.99 from Lovehoney

The Europe to UK Power Adaptor is £9.99 from Lovehoney

The Glass Intimo Minako G-Spot Dildo is £37.99 from Lovehoney

Bodywand Magic Vibrator (with UK Plug)

Picture the scene: you’re in bed, you can’t sleep, you’re horny but you’re tired and can’t be bothered to masturbate: it just feels too much like hard work. You’re in a sleep-sex Catch22, so what do you do?

I’ll tell you: if you’re in the mood for a quickie or a good hard fuck rather than a sensual experience then the Bodywand Magic Vibrator serves tha