Oh, I thought it might be because you didn’t say anything about my last blog post.
See what I did there? That was passive aggressive. It was my way of saying, “Did you read my last blog post? If you did, tell me you liked it. And if you haven’t read it, please do. And then tell me you liked it.”
Passive Aggressive is a very handy language. It allows you to get what you want, or express your feelings, without being disliked or rejected. Well, actually, you might be disliked or rejected because people are on to you and how annoying you are, so it doesn’t really work. But here are some other examples of how you can use it:
Want to say, “I don’t like you and never will”? That will never fly. Instead, try mispronouncing the person’s name again and again, no matter how many times they correct you. If it’s Goldstein, pronounced “gold-stine,” always pronounce it “gold-steen.” Or, even more effective: try calling them by the wrong name altogether, and turning them into an ape. Endora, Samantha’s mother on Bewitched, perfected this technique.
Want to say “I’m attracted to you and I’d like a date with you”? Don’t. What if they say “no”? Instead, try breaking into their house and pooping on their bed. It will send the person a mixed message, so they can’t accuse you of having the hots for them.
As you can see, passive aggressive comes in many flavors. To make it easy, I’ve broken them down into subcategories, along with examples.
So you can become more fluent, or understand someone else who is.
This is a great, passive-aggressive gift for the passive-aggressively special someone in your life. Instead of saying, “You’re passive aggressive,” you can hand them this guide and say, “I paid TEN DOLLARS for this and printed it out for you because it was so funny and made me think of you! Some of these are right out of your mouth!”
Want to learn to speak Passive Aggressive? Want the only accurate Passive Aggressive guide in existence?
My pocket guide will give you the key passive-aggressive examples you need to get around in the non-confrontational universe. Download it now.
Or don’t, whatever you want to do, I’m fine with.
That was passive aggressive.
Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way.
Hmm. I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might have to say yes. Women care more about being “nice”.
I have to say that us Brits are all mostly very passive aggressive. We’d rather be polite than obnoxious. I live in the USA now and I see many Americans as active aggressive. While it’s very direct to be this way it can be very annoying to have someone in-your-face about everything they do not like. How about just keeping it to yourself?
I say if you can’t say something positive don’t say anything at all. But I’m a Brit. What do I know.
Thx for an interesting post.
I am an American living in the UK with a passive agressive husband. Although I find this site funny and interesting, there is a serious side to it all. Due to my husbands PA nature, I am leaving him and going back home where the agressive people are easier to read as they are in your face. You Brits lay down, take it and carry on….No chance
cheryl
I’m curious, are you leaving your husband because he’s PA or just because you don’t want to be with him period?
Oddly enough I have just left my American wife but not because she’s PA (because she can be at times).
A question if I may. My sister, who also lives over here in the US, is criticized for being PA. Yet when she is AA (active aggressive) people thinks she’s being obnoxious. I have the exact same experience. I guess us Limeys have to learn how to be AA in a way that is acceptable over here?
Teach me please?
BTW I think we all have a little PA in us at times.
Have fun
Rich.
Being AA in the US is pretty easy. Just preface it by saying “I’m going to be bluntly honest…” then say the thing. Eventually the people around you know to expect things like that to come out of your mouth.
Just a suggestion. Good luck!
:]
Is it just me, or is this a primarily feminine dialect? Very funny, by the way.
Hmm. I know some pretty passive aggressive males. But primarily feminine, I might have to say yes. Women care more about being “nice”.
NICE. Sadly, almost every type of passive aggressive statement listed was expressed by my former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder!
What, you didn’t want to stay friends with her? She sounds great!
NICE. Sadly, almost every type of passive aggressive statement listed was expressed by my former best friend. In the end, her PA style bit her in the ass. Thanks for the decoder!
What, you didn’t want to stay friends with her? She sounds great!
LOL – well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as I’ve certainly heard most of those. Sadly, I’ve even uttered some myself on occasion. :/
Thanks for the chuckle!
Thanks, Jess. Yes, I’ll admit, some of those came right from my own mouth.
LOL – well done, Laura! This gave me a chuckle as I’ve certainly heard most of those. Sadly, I’ve even uttered some myself on occasion. :/
Thanks for the chuckle!
Thanks, Jess. Yes, I’ll admit, some of those came right from my own mouth.
Living with a person who masters Passive Aggressive must be like living at the Acid House…
What? I’m not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of saying, “go google ‘Acid House’”?
Living with a person who masters Passive Aggressive must be like living at the Acid House…
What? I’m not familiar with the Acid House. Is this your passive aggressive way of saying, “go google ‘Acid House’”?
well they got me to google it
Wow, it’s so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline…
Oh snap, that’s a good one. You are fluent.
Wow, it’s so amazing you had time to write this whole blog post, because I could have sworn you had this really big deadline…