7 “Features” of Working in a Japanese Office
with 32 comments
Somehow, things never work out like you think they’re gonna. Take for example, my plan, if you could call it that. I was working an office job in the U.S., and I concocted this great escape by which I’d run off to Japan and teach English to pretty girls for a year before settling into another “real job.” Tangentially, the dream also included laying on the beach, drinking Asahi beer, eating cotton candy, and improving my tan. So why I chose Tokyo, God only knows. Hindsight, as they say, is a bitch. Or at least I say that. Well, whatever, after a horrible year of teaching English, I somehow managed to interview and get a high-paying office job in Tokyo, twice. I’ve got good credentials, so people often mistake me for being responsible and able to get stuff done. Hey, just because it says that on my resume doesn’t make it true. And you know I was also pretty naive at that time, because I thought there was nothing worse than teaching. So color me shocked when I learned that working in a Japanese office is like that musical with all the singing, fake French people–miserable.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “That’s only two jobs,” is what you think. That and, “Ken Seeroi, though brilliant and ruggedly handsome you may be, even you know that’s not much of a sample size.” Okay, good point, but hear me out. See, there are some things that are part and parcel of working for a Japanese firm, and if you plan on working here, you’re gonna want to know them.
Job 1: The Small, Personal Company
So my first office job was a managerial position at this small company in a quiet Tokyo neighborhood. Real nice spot, with a park and trees and the whole bit. And on paper, the job looked great, because it came with a high salary and, well, okay, that’s about it. But the salary was high, so whatever. I bought a couple of new suits and this excellent red tie that I later lost in a karaoke booth. God, how I miss that tie.
Anyway, on Day One they put me in this little room with two middle-aged Japanese ladies. One was my immediate supervisor. She sat behind me looking over my shoulder. She had a bald spot on the top of her head, so I figured that’s why she was behind me. The other lady was my employee. I sat behind her, looking over her shoulder, although my hair is rich and luxurious. We did this for twelve hours a day. I drank a lot of coffee and went to the bathroom all the time.
But, you know, I’m a pretty positive guy, so I tried to fun things up right from the start. I figured we could use lunch time to get to know each other, break the ice, even do some team-building. You know, real corporate HR kind of stuff, just like in the movies.
“Hey, so what’s happening for lunch today?” I said. “You know, first day and all, how about we grab a bite at that cafe across from the park?”
“Gotta work,” my boss lady said, and kept on typing. My employee lady said nothing. She just looked at her hands.
“Well, okay,” I ventured, “How about ordering up a couple pizzas?”
Nobody said anything.
“I like mushrooms and green peppers,” I said. “How ‘bout you?” My boss lady stopped typing. Until then, I hadn’t noticed just how good the room’s sound insulation was, but it was really quite excellent. “Although I’m open to anything,” I continued. “Corn and mayonnaise? Octopus and broccoli? Sausage-lovers supreme?”
“I brought a bento,” said my boss lady. “Bento” is the Japanese word for a Tupperware full of cold rice, cold fish, cold boiled spinach, cold omelette, and a meatball. Though it really tastes better than it sounds. She resumed typing.
“Me too,” my employee lady added quickly. She still hadn’t moved. I was beginning to suspect she had a disability.
“All right, how about tomorrow?” I asked.
“Working,” said my boss lady. My employee lady sat like an ice sculpture, slowly melting into her chair.
So, having thus gotten to know each other, we worked another eight hours in silence in our little room, until it was dark and we all went home in turn: first the employee lady, then me, and I guess at some point the boss lady too, but maybe not. All I know is that at 8:30 p.m., I softly put on my coat, said a polite, “excuse me for leaving early,” quietly walked out the door, then ran around the corner to the first bar I saw and promptly got plastered as hell. It was Monday. I lasted there seven months.
Job 2: The big, also Personal Company
The next place I worked was an enormous room full of people. I figured a large company might do the trick, with a good mix of foreigners and Japanese folks. The only problem working with Japanese people is that they’re about as fun as sofa cushions; and the only problem with foreign people is they’re all weirdos. I don’t mean that in a bad way. Okay, so I do, but if you live here, you know what I’m talking about. Being in Japan for a few years has a way of making one strange.
At lunch on my first day, I went to the “lunch corner” of our enormous room and sat balancing my bento on my knees, since there were no tables. Two white guys and a Japanese dude were doing the same thing.
“Hey, my name’s Stephen,” said this white guy named Stephen.
“Nice to meet you.” I said. “Ken.”
“You speak Japanese?” he asked.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“I passed the JLPT 2,” he said.
“Hey, great.”
“I got 92% on it.”
“Wooow,” I said.
“Hi, I’m Randy,” said this white guy named Randy.
“Ken,” I said.
“You married? Got a girlfriend?” he asked.
“I’m kind of between situations right now,” I answered, “if you know what I mean.” Actually, I didn’t even know what I meant, but it sounded like a reasonable answer.
“Yeah, I’ve got a few ladies myself. Check these out,” he said, and proceeded to give me an iPhone picture tour of the women he was dating.
“Wooow,” I said.
I looked at the Japanese guy. He nodded. “I’m Ken,” I said. He nodded again, mumbled something into his rice, and kept on eating. Then we all went back to work for another 8 hours. I lasted there six months.
7 “Features” of Working in a Japanese Office
Now, I know somebody out there likes their Japanese office job. I mean, people like snakes and spiders for pets too. Like, what about a puppy doesn’t work for you? But that’s cool, obviously everybody’s different. I even dated this one girl who slept with a ferret in her bed, so whatever. Damn furry thing kept waking me up all night. At least, I think that was the ferret. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, so whether you like it or not, there are a few, uh, “features” that come with working in a Japanese office:
1. Expect to work a mind-blowing number of hours. Ever heard of work-life balance? That’s because you’re not Japanese. By law, hourly employees are entitled to paid overtime after 40 hours per week. To remedy this, the company will ask you to clock out at 5 p.m., and then to “voluntarily” continue working.
2. Forget cubicles. Get used to being surrounded by people that you try to ignore but are unable to. They in turn, will try to ignore you, only to be shocked when you blow your nose, look out the window, or breathe.
3. Are you a people person? Great, your co-workers will be incredibly friendly the first week. Then, having exhausted all possible conversation topics, you will sit in silence for the remaining years you work together.
4. You will learn to visualize success, as your boss, co-workers, and people you don’t even know come to you with requests. Soon you will have such a huge number of miscellaneous tasks that you could only complete them by working 100 hours a week. As people approach your desk holding documents, you will visualize successfully killing them with staplers, tape, and whiteboard markers.
5. High achiever? If you do an exceptional job, your boss and coworkers will hate you. Don’t do that. On the other hand, if you fail to accomplish everything asked of you, you’ll be considered a slouch for leaving before midnight. Learn what value lies in mediocrity.
6. When flu season comes, you’ll be surprised how well you can recognize your coworkers from the different surgical masks they wear. Sick? No problem. Broke both legs and you’re in an iron lung? That’s fine, just wheel your bed next to your desk and somebody will prop you up so you can keep typing.
7. Like money? Bonus! As in, you’ll get a bonus once a year, bringing your hourly wage to just slightly above that of a convenience store clerk. Want a raise? How 1990 of you. A decade from now, you’ll still be making the same amount, unless the company does poorly and your salary goes down. Better work harder.
Now, I don’t want to make it sound like working in a Japanese office is all bad. On the plus side, you’re not in an Antarctic research station studying icicles. That’s something. Depending on your workplace, you may have light, and heat. Those are good things, right? You may even have amenities like green tea, a coat rack, and a toilet seat that shoots water. You gotta learn to appreciate the small things in life, is all. But above all else, there is one priceless advantage of office work. Namely, that when you’re in an Irish bar—and trust me, you will be—and everyone sizes you up as an English teacher, you can be like, Teacher? Huh, no way. I’m a salaryman. They’ll all be like, Wooow. And that, perhaps, makes it all worthwhile.
Have experience in a Japanese office? Comment and share!
Written by Ken Seeroi
January 31, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Posted in Working in Japan
Tagged with Japanese office, Japanese overtime, Working in Japan
32 Responses
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Holy mother of sweet potatoes. I sure hated my teaching job in Korea (lasted 6 months). After giving two months notice, on my last day, they demanded that I work for another week for free because they had failed to hire a replacement. I politely declined their most gracious offer. That was the worst job I’ve ever had, but apparently the worst job I’ve ever had is a luxury cabin on the pleasure train compared to a salaryman gig.
Speaking of job stuff, I went to a doctor recently to inquire about getting a penis reduction, and when said doctor found out that I used to test video games professionally he sat down and spent ten minutes explaining to me why being a doctor sucks and why we should pursue jobs that don’t make us miserable, regardless of the paycheck.
But he doesn’t get to brag to miserable, sexless, drunk old men after work. Maybe I should open an izakaya in San Diego…
Matt
February 1, 2013 at 5:59 am
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Okay, right there—your conversation with the doctor—that’s the difference between Japan and the U.S. In the U.S., there’s an underlying, cultural belief that life should be enjoyable, and work shouldn’t be any harder than it needs to be. In fact, you can be rewarded for making a job easier; that’s called efficiency.
Japanese culture is built on a different belief system, one that says that work, and life in general, is by nature hard, and should be hard. If it’s not hard, you make it hard. I’m trying not to devolve into penis jokes at this point. Anyway, the point is that Japanese culture tends to place emphasis not on the result of the work, but on work itself. If you do a great job and complete a project early, you don’t pat yourself on the back and take the rest of the day off. You just launch into the next project. That’s work.
Ken Seeroi
February 1, 2013 at 8:48 am
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I guess lots of things in Japan can be harder that they look. Every day you have to put in the elbow grease, and keep on working at it, working yourself raw, sucking it all up without ever giving yourself a chance to vent some steam and blow it all out…
…penis.
Matt
February 1, 2013 at 9:33 am
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I never worked in Japan but I worked at a Japanese company in Vienna, being the sole local amidst an all-Japanese team. On one side I know that the Japanese I worked along with must have been different, why else would they work abroad, but I got along well with all of them. We made jokes, we bitched about our boss and if there was nothing to do, we did chat and share news and personal stuff.
The problem with Japanese companies though is that they rotate their managers (at least in bigger companies). Which means that after a blissful honeymoon phase our excellent boss was switched for someone who had no idea about our work and no interest (he disappeared on “meetings” for hours) in it. He’s basically the reason I quit.
Well and the really low salary. That was quite horrible. But I learned a lot there, so it was alright while it lasted.
And overtime: Even though they had a “punch a card” system which gave you a 15 minutes penalty if you where 1 minute late (of course you could work 14 minutes overtime and it would not count unless you stayed for minute 15 as well) I had less overtime than at any other job since.
Silvia
February 1, 2013 at 8:26 am
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Yeah, Japanese people who go abroad often want to stay abroad. It’s no picnic coming back to Japan. And absolutely, Japanese people who live overseas and speak fluent English, well, that’s like a white guy in Japan who speaks fluent Japanese—not exactly your “normal” individual.
Just a question, though. If you left work promptly at 5:00 every day, did everyone else leave with you?
Ken Seeroi
February 1, 2013 at 8:55 am
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We pretty much left all at the same time except for bosses of course. They stayed longer. And I did not leave promptly, there was still stuff to finish up, but aprox. 15 minutes later we’d be out of the door. Sometimes I was even the one to stay longest (once again except for the bosses) but that’s usually because I was also the one who was always unable to make it on time in the morning.
Opposed to the other jobs I had since then where I stayed to 8pm and sometimes even came in during the weekend. Basically for free as my contracts were “all in”.
Silvia
February 1, 2013 at 9:11 pm
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Wow, the only Japanese company that even remotely resembles what you’re describing is the Mitsubishi Unicorn and Rainbow Corporation. You sure they were Japanese, and not just cleverly disguised Peruvians? I’m going with that, if only because no Japanese person has ever worked less than a 10 hour day in the history of the world. There weren’t a suspicious number of llamas in your office, were there?
Ken Seeroi
February 4, 2013 at 12:47 am
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A good article as always Ken. Though the article does make me want to ask some questions. I hope that you find the time to answer them.
A) How did you even get an office job?
B) How was your Japanese at the time?
C) How do you make such an amazing blog?
Thank
Kanchi
February 1, 2013 at 9:37 am
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Thanks a lot. Okay, here you go:
A) Getting an office job isn’t particularly hard if you’ve got good work experience. If you come to Japan right out of college, it’s going to a bit challenging. However, if you’ve worked in a high-demand field (programming, for example) for a few years, then when you come to Japan, you might find it easier to get a job here than, for example, in the U.S.
Bear in mind that it’s much easier to get an office job if you’re already in Japan. The last thing a company wants to do is hire you way over from another country. So what options does the company have? 95% of the foreigners here are English teachers, many of whom have no particular job skills and who’ll go back home in a year or two. Of the remaining maybe 5%, most are already settled into jobs. Sure, there’s competition, but talented people in Japan can find jobs.
B) The real demand is for people who speak English. Like, nobody needs another Japanese-speaking programmer. Japan’s already got loads of those. Usually, they want you because they’re an international company, and half their employees, or customers, speak English. The only reason you need Japanese is so you can get along with the other half of the company. Your boss and co-workers may not speak English (especially your boss), and company-wide emails may be sent entirely in Japanese. PCs and software are likely all in Japanese, so you need enough language ability to be able to handle that. By the time I got my first office job, I could already converse fluently in Japanese, but make no mistake, it was stressful. If you misunderstand some old dude in a bar, well, so what; but when he’s the company president, well, that’s your ass.
C) Seriously, thanks. I always want to write more and better, but you know, all that time on the PC really cuts into my beer and carousing. It’s all a matter of priorities. Unfortunately, it appears I was born without any. Hey, genetic defect, don’t hate the handicapped, is all I’m saying.
Ken Seeroi
February 1, 2013 at 7:13 pm
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Ah, your reply raised my hopes a bit. I’m studying software development in university right now (That’s what brits call college) and I have plans to get a job as a programmer first so I can make the money to come to Japan and teach english or whatever. I was worried that I’d chosen a job that wouldn’t let me switch careers but the way you say it, it sounds like I’ve chosen a good enough career path.
Kanchi
February 2, 2013 at 2:03 am
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Thanks for translating that British stuff into English. I can never understand those people, what with their bumbershoots and lorries. Anyway, yeah, I think your career plan sounds pretty solid. It’s extremely helpful to have one or two jobs on your resume before you come to Japan, since if all you do is teach English here, your resume will be utterly indistinguishable from the hordes of other foreigners all doing the same thing. Anything you can add to it will be a bonus.
Ken Seeroi
February 4, 2013 at 1:34 pm
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Bumbershoots?
Kanchi
February 5, 2013 at 2:53 am
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It’ll probably still be pretty soul-draining. I did some GIS contracting work for a Japanese company once. Never again.
Derp
February 16, 2013 at 5:57 pm
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Matt,
Is your experience with the Koreans so bad that you needed a penis reduction? Ouch!Ken,
I really identify with your job hate complex. I worked in the military and then for the civilian government for 30+ years and I never found a job I didn’t eventually HATE. One of my most favorite hated jobs was being a reliability Engineer on the Space Shuttle and if that’s not oxymoron enough for you, my particular responsibility was the Solid Rocket Boosters. You know the things that caused the Challenger disaster, cost the government 2 billion dollars, nearly cancelled the US Space Program and killed 7 astronauts, including the first teacher in Space, Christa McAuliffe.We knew that there was a problem with the O-rings and had changed the mission criticality code on them to require extensive tests before launch, but the President wanted the launch to coincide with his State of the Union address and his PEOPLE told NASA not to delay the mission, so none of the required checks were enforced.
On the day of the launch, the ice buildup on the SRBs was tremendous and a flight no-go was requested (and was rejected). Then I had to watch as the whole thing happened live on TV! I even knew about the real reason the Bird broke apart, an inappropriate strut re-design (this never got into the news though) that was made to reduce the weight of the vehicle and increase the cargo weight allowed, which eventually was determined as the actual point of failure, though no one actually knows it (except those reading this).
You see, the Shuttle scientists had never predicted that it was possible to have an External Tank detonation with loss of life and mission (from a document called the Failure Mode Effects Analysis – FMEA) and not instantly kill all the astronauts; which is why they justified not having a crew escape plan. It turned out that they had never considered a conflagration as a possibility and only looked at confined detonations that generate several times the magnitude shock waves (which are impossible to survive). For some reason, its harder to accept their deaths knowing that for the several minutes that the Shuttle fell back to earth, they were likely aware that they were going to die and had realized their fate.
I knew that NASA was complicit in the cover-up of their unnecessary deaths when they left the vehicle wreckage of the Challenger on the sea bottom for weeks and didn’t recover the bodies hoping that the ocean would somehow destroy the evidence. They finally recovered what was left of the bodies and then snuck them back into the Cape in Giant Green Trash containers. How’s that for honoring the dead!
Then in another similar act of stupidity they killed another 7 astronauts with the Columbia accident and can you believe it was all because they didn’t want to admit they screwed up again. A chunk of ice damaged the leading edge of the Shuttle wing and created a visible crack, yet they wouldn’t allow telescopes to inspect the damage because then they knew that the failure of the Space Transportation System would finally be pointed at politicians. Did you know that they had enough fuel on board to reach the Space Station (but not return to Earth) and chose not to take that option because it would mean begging the Russians to resupply the ISS out of contract and ask them for help (which the Russians would have made us pay for dearly in the world press)! Forget about the fact that budgetary cuts had eliminated the Shuttle repair module that was supposed to be a part of the ISS – it would have had parts and tools to repair the tiles on the Shuttle and fix minor structural damage to the vehicle. Another 2-3 billion dollars lost and 7 more astronauts dead!
Yea, I really hated that job!
Bud Martin
February 1, 2013 at 11:05 am
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Wow, that’s an amazing story—I feel like you could make that into a magazine article with no problem.
“I never found a job I didn’t eventually HATE.” A classic line. I’ve had a couple of jobs in my life that were good, but the rest, eh, I’d probably choose to live in a cardboard box if I had to do it all over again. All that fresh air’s bound to do a body good.
Ken Seeroi
February 1, 2013 at 6:20 pm
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OK, so I know that NASA at least has cubicles, lots and lots of cubicles and they pay pretty well (the benefits are OK too), but you do work long hours sometimes. I believe NASA and large Japanese corporations have something in common: they play a game called “cover your ass” where management sets up little empires that always have someone to blame and someone always is expected to fall on their sword when there is any F-ups so that the higher ups don’t get in trouble! I heard that the Japanese corporations were the masters at that too!
FYI, just by chance, I had been down at the Cape checking out the bond locker at the Vehicle Assembly Building for some Cable failures some weeks before the Challenger launch and bumped into Christa McAuliffe. We talked about teaching since I had also taught chess to advanced classes in local schools.
Then on the day of the accident, I remember staring in shock at the TV watching the SRBs wave forming along with the rest of the STS vehicle scattering all over the place and just remembering her smiling face and thinking about her kids in her class and all of the people that were going to be affected by her death and I just sort of shut down and cried in total disbelief and shame for what we (NASA) had done!
You know, living that story was enough to make me a basket case for many years. I don’t think anyone would get anything out of rehashing any of that, since all the people responsible are either dead or no longer with the government, but I would have liked to find out who really made the decisions that cost those lives and see them face justice in some way.
Do you think the Japanese JAXA would have acted the same as NASA did and covered up things? BTW, I hear the Japanese are getting excited about the planned 2020 moon mission that is supposed to set up a moon base and have some Japanese astronauts participating (don’t count on it happening though with America’s debt problems). I often wonder if Japan will ever have a fully fledged independent space program.
Bud martin
February 1, 2013 at 10:01 pm
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Japanese in Space–I can imagine that pretty easily. The population is used to living in closed quarters and eating food that looks like it came from another planet. Just set up a pachinko parlor on the moon, and you’ll have astronauts lining up to go.
Ken Seeroi
February 4, 2013 at 1:24 pm
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First thing I’ll say- I usually only comment on these things after coming back from a bar.
That said, Bud’s story reminds me of every single job I’ve done working for an environmental agency, only if they were running a space program they’d have managed to kill almost everyone on the planet somehow.
Derp
February 16, 2013 at 6:01 pm
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This article is quite timely for me as my time on JET is coming to a close. I’ve always known I wanted to avoid working/living in Tokyo and your article just re-confirms that. Hopefully, I will be able to find something that’s a good match with my skills. Thanks for sharing!
Benjamin Martin
February 4, 2013 at 4:47 pm
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Yeah, I think you’ve got a pretty good s
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