Paranormal

Announcing Suvudu Cage Match 2013: Meet Your Contenders


By Matt Staggs on January 28, 2013

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“Listen all! This is the truth of it. Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we’ve learned, by the dust of them all … Bartertown learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two men enter; one man leaves.” –Dr. Dealgood, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

The dying times are here: Suvudu’s Cagematch. Smell the excitement … the fear … the magic … the death. We’ve all got heroes and villains. We put our faith in their strength. They represent us, their fans. But they can’t all be as strong as we think they are, and in the Suvudu Cagematch they’ll do battle, one-on-one:  “Two men enter; one man leaves.” We’ll separate the strong from the weak, the wheat from chaff, and we’ll keep it up until only one survives, be it man or woman, god, beast or devil or … something else.

We’ve had our fill of today’s gods and monsters. This year we will summon the ancient and powerful to the arena. You may call them classics, but you learn to call them warriors. In the noble spirit of the ancients, we have split them into leagues based upon the classic elements: Air, Earth, Fire, Water. By these they will live. By these they will die. Let the hard rain fall.

AIR
Gandalf (The Lord of the Rings)
Professor Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes)
Griffin, The Invisible Man (The Invisible Man)
The Thing (Who Goes There)
The Dunwich Horror (Lovecraft’s The Dunwich Horror)
The Doctor (Doctor Who)
The Harpy Celaeno (The Last Unicorn)
IT (A Wrinkle in Time)

EARTH
Atreyu (The Neverending Story)
Alex (A Clockwork Orange)
Tarzan (Tarzan of the Apes)
Count Dracula (Dracula)
Tripods (The War of the Worlds)
Jekyll/Hyde (The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)
General Woundwort (Watership Down)
The White Witch (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)

FIRE
Tock (The Phantom Tollbooth)
Grendel (Beowulf)
Merlin the Magician (Arthurian Legend)
Smaug (The Hobbit)
Medusa (Greek Mythology)
The Headless Horseman (The Legend of Sleepy Hollow)
The Mechanical Hound (Fahrenheit 451)
Mombi (The Marvelous Land of Oz)

WATER
Inigo Montoya (The Princess Bride)
Medea (Greek Mythology)
Captain Nemo (Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea)
Kull of Atlantis (Kull the Conqueror)
Bene Gesserit (Dune)
Captain Hook (Peter Pan; or, the Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up)
Queequeg (Moby-Dick)
Prospero (The Tempest)

We’ll be releasing the bracket in the next few weeks, and as is Suvudu custom, matches will commence in early March. Get ready.
The bracket is now revealed! See it here.


Cage Match 2013
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46 Responses to “Announcing Suvudu Cage Match 2013: Meet Your Contenders”

  1. spacer Shawn Speakman says:
    January 28, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Gandalf versus Smaug in the final. WIth Gandalf winning.

    Rendering the story in THE HOBBIT unneeded. Ha!

  2. spacer JOE says:
    January 28, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    I AM SO EXCITED. This will be epic. Legendary. Songs will be sung of this cage match. I will probably be the one singing them just to prove myself right.

  3. spacer Chivalrous says:
    January 28, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    It’ll come down to Gandalf vs Inigo Montoya

  4. spacer David says:
    January 28, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Ok. Celaeno is originally the harpy who curses Aeneas in book three of the Aeneid, whether she’s in “The Last Unicorn” or not.

  5. spacer CYGAN13 says:
    January 28, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    I AM SO EXCITED. Been Waiting for this since the new year for this.

    David i would assume that their are differences between Celaeno from the two different books. they are merely making it clear their using the last unicorn version, not saying that Celaeno originates from the last unicorn.

  6. spacer Hugz says:
    January 28, 2013 at 11:16 pm

    Huh, Gandalf and the Doctor in the same bracket? I dunno, seems like Air is a bit top-heavy compared to say Earth or Water.

  7. spacer Jlingo says:
    January 29, 2013 at 11:44 am

    Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. spacer Abyss says:
    January 29, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    Oh, this should be fun. I picture someone assembling the list and laughing themselvces silly at a few of those names… i mean, seriously… The Headless Horseman….. hee

    The weight of the zeitgeist almost has to propel Gandalf or Dr Who to the finals, but there’s some fun potential in the match-ups getting there.

  9. spacer wcarter4 says:
    January 29, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Hmm…I think Glorfindel would have been a better choice than than having Gandalf if the matches will also include Smaug and Merlin.
    Can’t help but notice this year’s matches seem to focus on older “classic” works of SFF. Nice change of pace.

  10. spacer Alex Richardson says:
    January 29, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Queequeg? That’s… an odd one.

  11. spacer bigalosu says:
    January 29, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    The Doctor versus Merlin with the Time Lord for the win!

  12. spacer Thomas says:
    January 29, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Seems like they’re intentionally going for secondary characters…Moriarty, Hook, and Merlin are all very well, but considering those stories, it does seem like Holmes, Pan, and Arthur would have been the more obvious choices…maybe it was on the basis of trying to balance out the teams, I dunno.

    Ah well. I doubt it’ll happen, but the image of Smaug fighting General Woundwort is going to keep me entertained for a while…

  13. spacer Dandelion the Story Teller says:
    January 29, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Woundwort would totally win.

  14. spacer Jonrock411 says:
    January 29, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    Hmm, this is an interesting matchup, and I see they’re having returning contestants this time (Gandalf, Moriarty, Tarzan, Dracula and Kull), and I do like they’re using more classic characters. Also that this is the first cage match where I actually know everybody, hopefully they are using the novel versions, especially in cases like Dracula and Hyde where they have severe differences between the novel and popular view of the character due to adaptations.

  15. spacer Charlemagne says:
    January 29, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    I love this competition. I think it’s cool that this year they have chosen to go with more classic characters (not even all from SFF), but at the same time I miss some characters from more recent books. My predictions are: AIR – The Doctor vs. Gandalf, The Doctor wins. EARTH – Dracula vs. The White Witch, The White Witch wins. FIRE – Merlin vs. Smaug, too close to call. WATER – Medea vs. Inigo Montoya, Medea wins.

    Does anyone else feel like the Fire and Air brackets are overpowered, especially when compared with the other two, or is it just me?

  16. spacer Thessaly says:
    January 30, 2013 at 9:04 am

    Bene Gesserit is the name of the group, not one individual. Does that mean there will be lots of them? Just one (in or out of communication with the others)? Can Paul or Alia Atreides get in on a technicality here?

    #nitpicky #rereaddunelastweek

  17. spacer Abyss says:
    January 30, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    Interesting points… not all Bene Gesserits are created equal… and the classic Stoker Dracula isn’t necessaily the same as any number of depictions since then (or even before if you go the Vlad the Impaler route…), same goes for Medusa… ‘just’ turns people to stone, or half snake monster with penchant for arrows…

  18. spacer Gemini says:
    January 30, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    I really like the theme of classics for this year. It means that I actually know most of the competitors. spacer

    The Doctor all the way!

  19. spacer Thomas says:
    January 30, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    I think Air and Fire are definitely powerful (anyone who has the Doctor is probably the frontrunner at this point), although I would say that with Jadis, Dracula, and the Tripods in Earth, they’re not THAT underpowered.

    Actually, the only one I think is potentially underpowered is Water, and that’s mostly on the basis of it being a little unclear. If Medea is meant as the main magician, then she’s woefully outclassed in feats by Jadis, Gandalf, and Merlin. If it’s supposed to be Prospero, things change a little, but Prospero was never really the one doing the big magic. That’s one of the unclear points: do we assume that if we have Prospero, Ariel comes as part of the package deal? Likewise, Bene Gesserit is kind of unclear…are we talking one, or the entire order? If the entire order, does that encompass Lady Jessica? Alia (unlikely, but possible at a stretch)?

  20. spacer Jonrock411 says:
    January 30, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    You know, if my theory is right and each category is supposed to have characters representing that element, shouldn’t Gandalf really be in Fire?

  21. spacer Paul says:
    January 31, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    It takes time to get it right… and I do believe that this year they’ve gotten it right! Or at least very close to right… This is how the cage match should be, with obvious favorites and Cinderellas, but nobody who has no buisness in the arena with the others (either way too weak or way too powerful). Plus the horribly overloaded and biased fanbases are not represented this year (you all know of who I speak), so the fanboyism shouldn’t be nearly as bad (although I’m sure it will still exist, it just won’t be insurmountable). This should be a great year.

  22. spacer Paul says:
    January 31, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    I also like the intro… Beyond Thunderdome is an underrated classic…

    “I know you won’t break the rules… there aren’t any.”

  23. spacer Paul says:
    February 1, 2013 at 10:34 am

    I’d like to see a write-up for Medusa against the Headless Horseman.

  24. spacer Vertigo says:
    February 2, 2013 at 7:09 am

    Massive letdown. I love the cage match but for me so much of it’s pull comes from the dynamic mix of interesting and unknown characters from a range of stories going head-to-head with those i know and love. The cage match has led me to many of my current favourite stories and characters, and while i understand the appeal of classic match-ups it severely narrows the focus and deals only with well known characters that in most cases we have had many decades to become acquainted with, leaving almost no room for surprises. They might make for an interesting read but there’s a distinct lack of the mystery and excitement that has made the cage match such a winner for me in recent years.

  25. spacer Anaroth says:
    February 11, 2013 at 4:09 am

    I just saw the match-ups for this years cage match and I am very disappointed. Over the last two years I have told people about this website and about the cage match because of how much I enjoyed the known, unknown, classic and modern characters. But now, I don’t think will be loggin back into this cage match until 2014 spacer

  26. spacer Ahimsa says:
    February 15, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    Hook is a good choice, sure, but they’re lucky they didn’t choose Rufio or he would have gone straight to the finals.

    BANGARANG!

  27. spacer Tim says:
    February 15, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Really a fricking Rabbit that couldn’t take out Bigwig. Last years cage match led me to pick up books that I wasn’t familiar with. This seems to be fulfilling somebody’s idea of classic characters. I read and reread many of the books represented over the last few cage matches. I haven’t reread the “Classics” all that much because frankly they aren’t as well written. With all due respect to Tolkien and other Classic authors, they laid out the genre, but they are by no means at the apex. That would be like saying that Bill Hailey and the Comets were the best Rock band because they were one of the first, that’s absurd. So much for a great vehicle to promote the growth of an exciting book genre.

  28. spacer The Person says:
    February 16, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    This is quite an interesting bracket. Air seems to have the largest concentration of power, but the rest have a few characters that may make it. I’m not sure how Merlin will do stacked up agaisnt Gandalf, if they make it to the semifinals.

    In Air, I could see either the Doctor or Gandalf. Moriarty may be able to do some, but he doesn’t have the strength or ability to get through someone who knows what they’re doing. Similarly, Griffin may be hard to take out due to invisibility, but he is just as frail as every other human. To me, IT is the real wild card here. While IT is fairly powerful, IT doesn’t seem to be able to directly effect much other than telepaths. IT is one of the few things in Air I see taking out the Doctor.

    In Earth, I see Jadis and the Tripods making it through. Jadis is a powerful witch who destroyed a world and enlsaved another, while the Tripods are made by starfish aliens, and are capable of destroying cities. Sadly, I don’t know much about Atreyu, but I’ll try to read the books before this starts. Dracula depends on which version he is. Stoker’s Dracula, though powerful, has a plethora of weaknesses holding him back, most of which are fairly common. Alex, as good a fighter as he may be, is another person held back by being human. Humans are just that squishy compared to everyone else.

    Fire is another division loaded with powerful characters. The likes of Merlin, Smaug, and the Grendel are just too much for most people. I don’t see Grendel taking this, unless Merlin takes out Smaug. With his sensitive hearing, Smaug’s roar would leave him writhing in pain. Smaug could make it through, after all, he is a dragon. Merlin is the most likely, as he is arguably the strongest character this year. Medusa is also a candidate for victory. The inability to be seen is valuable, as is turning people to stone. However, Merlin may find a way to get around it.

    Water seems to be the weakest division here. Hook, Queequeg, and Nemo are all humans, who I’ve mentioned are generally squishy. Inigo Montoya, despite what people claim, is not human, and never was. I can see Inigo, Medea, and the Bene Gesserit taking it to the semifinals. Inigo could win on ability, and also is fairly popular. Medea is a sorceress, if I remember correctly, which gives her a distinct advantage of most people. The Bene Gesserit has both ability and popularity as well. However, I don’t see this division winning.

    As for next year, despite not being a Science Fiction or Fantasy character, I would enjoy seeing Hannibal Lecter. An insane cannibalistic psychiatrist can be quite a deadly foe, and could play mind games with most people how attempt the same on him.

  29. spacer WoT4Ever says:
    February 18, 2013 at 10:24 am

    This whole setup is clearly a cop-out. They clearly didn’t want another WoT character dominating the tournament, but they didn’t want to say that outright, and it would

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