Ethan Siegal
From Walkypedia!
 |
| Ethan Siegal |
| First Appearance: Shortpacked! 17 January 2005 |
| YOB: 1978 |
| 6' |
| Weight: 200 lbs |
- Ethan Siegal is a Shortpacked! employee in the Shortpacked! portion of the It's Walky! continuity family.
A failed stand-up comedian, Ethan Siegal has settled for working retail. Amazingly, retail has not broken him yet. He still has that shimmer of hope for the future and his fellow man. Whether this is due to the strength of his resolve or just plain old ordinary denial depends on your personal level of cynicism. That hope may be tarnished, as he has been fired from Shortpacked! after admitting to being gay and refusing to give Galasso an heir through his daughter Conquest.
Ethan has been known to harbor romantic feelings towards members of the cast of The Daily Show. He holds a personal belief that Batman is comedy gold, and can make any situation more funny. He's also a big Transformers fan, and devotes enough time to the related wiki to have gotten into a fight with David Willis over it. He has been known to spend large amounts of time (and money) searching for new toys, often following elaborate routes which are planned well in advance.
Little is known about his family, except that he hasn't been home for Thanksgiving for years due to the store opening early the next day. Also, they're probably Jewish. 'Cause he is[1].
He was temporarily unable to sleep due to Roadblock "staring at me like he wants to do me physical harm" from a poster. This poster has actually talked to him on several occasions.
- TFWiki Username: EthanBats
- Spanish Name: El Ethan
Contents
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Fiction
Shortpacked!
Galasso hired Ethan for the Shortpacked! store back in 2002, after Ethan realised that he could not support himself with his preferred career in stand-up comedy[2]. His visible career got off to an unimpressive start, as he spent most of his working days complaining about various things (particularly his fellow toy fans). The introduction of CPRs to the store did not help matters, as he objected to the program on ethical grounds and was thus reluctant to sell CPRs to customers.
When Ethan bought a poster featuring G.I. Joe and Transformers characters, he found himself unable to sleep because he was intimidated by Roadblock's stare. (He later began to appear well-rested again, implying that the situation was resolved, but the solution was never explained. Indeed, the poster was later seen still on the wall next to his bed.)
Not much later, Robin began actively pursuing a romantic relationship with Ethan. She was not successful.
The arrival of Faz during the holiday season was the first major threat to Ethan's career. Thanks to Faz's unethical methods and manipulation of Galasso, as well as his failure to sell CPRs, Ethan found himself in poor standing when the manager wanted to fire an employee. Fortunately for Ethan, Amber had forged the sales records, and Sydney was fired instead.
When the Drama Tag's effects were first seen, Ethan helped forcibly remove Amber's father from the store, then consoled Amber.
Ethan's second period of sleep deprivation came when he discovered a Transformers wiki. He edited pages obsessively, and eventually got into a dispute with David Willis over the Primus article, which ultimately led to a fight. While Robin's attempt to stop them failed (because she neglected to write "OPTIMUS PRIME" on the chest of her Hero Optimus Prime costume, causing it to become a Sureshot costume instead), the fight was eventually broken up by Maggie, who had accompanied Willis to Shortpacked!.
Ethan's work and love life collided when Galasso offered him a promotion in exchange for having sex with Conquest (with the intention of getting her pregnant). Upset over this, Robin accidentally triggered an epiphany in Ethan, causing him to realize that he was gay. Robin later used this information to blackmail him into a date. Robin would go on to manipulate Ethan more subtly, into kissing him, by insisting that she was a lesbian and that she and Leslie were a couple, knowing that Ethan, who has a great need to be right, would challenge.
When Galasso revealed the Tome of the Ages, Ethan found himself suddenly potentially in a position of great power as the "Second Eaton." However, when Galasso asked him again to impregnate Conquest, he revealed that he was gay. He was promptly fired. After a few months of unemployment (during which he swears he was close to getting another job), he found himself back in the employ of Galasso and Shortpacked! after the Tome of Ages scheme fell through.
Prior to his understanding of Ultra Car's uniqueness, he attempted to borrow it to do some quick toy shopping. Unfortunately Ultra Car had other ideas and dropped off in the Amazon. He totally deserved it.
Galasso became increasingly irritated by Ethan's attitude towards customers (i.e. that they are idiots). Therefore Robin sought to change him by slapping a shit-load of bumper stickers on the back of his car, turning him into some kind of Anti-Ethan. This caused customers to like him.
This state of affairs could not last and indeed, a very jealous Ultra Car removed them with acetone, thus changing him back to normal. When he was grieving to Robin about his new ego vanishing, a lone customer came up to him and told him off, which gave Robin the idea of hooking Ethan with the lone customer. In a typical fasion, Robin confronted him and asked if he wanted to see some boobs. Initialy disappointed, after expressing that she was trying to identify if the customer was gay, he confirmed that he was, however "That doesn't mean I don't want to see 'em". Amber, apparently still showing some feelings for Ethan, called him out on the the fact that he has slept with girls in the past. This was rebuked however as Ethan made it clear that he felt that these were all mistakes. Amber's response made it clear that she still held feelings for Ethan.
After eagerly anticipating attending the Transformers BotCon 2007, Ethan nearly missed out on the event due being admitted to hospital with a to a burst apendix. Although weak from the operation, he was still keen to get to the convention, by means of crawling across the hospital floor. When he tried to get out of the bed for his own reasons, he fell forward and Robin commented his tush followed by Amber and Mike both saying that they'd seen it[3]. Robin called amber a big fat Nazi liar. Amber responded to this frankly, by stating that they have known each other for five years (Robin having only relatively recently joined Shortpacked!). Eventually he did make it to the Bot Con, and was seen still in the hospital gown along with Walky, Joe, David Willis, and Maggie queuing for entrance.
He became good friends with Thad, developing feelings for him as well. However, when he finally confessed, it turned out that Thad is totally bangin' Ethan's counterpart at McAwesome's Parasailing and Chocolate Bakery, Evan.
Toys
Unreleased
- There has never been a toy made of Ethan. This is probably a good thing, because he would then have to buy that toy, which might get him interested in the web comic it was based on, and then Shortpacked! would exist inside itself, and it'd just be a huge mess. If there was an Ethan toy, it would probably be a retooling of somebody more important.
Trivia
- The only toy-related franchise which Ethan is confirmed to not be interested in is Power Rangers, despite noble efforts to recapture a childhood that wasn't even his.
- Amber and Mike have seen his butt before[4]
- He
might havetotally slept with Amber [5]
- He was in line for BOT CON 07 with Walky, Joe, David Willis, and Maggie [6].
External links
- Ethan
at TFU.infoon the Shortpacked! cast page