Really appreciate all the feedback I got from the last post. Depression and grief are so difficult, but your support is incredibly helpful. I wanted to share just some of the advice I received, in hopes that it will help anyone else who is currently struggling.
Grieving for a loved one, especially a parent, is tremendously painful and ongoing. There’s a part of us that’s lost with the passing of our loved one…The onset of sadness and depression over these losses is triggered by any little thing even to this day…
It gets easier, it gets different, but it never goes away.
Sometimes I’ll allow myself to just forget all that and take a day off to do whatever I want and feel crappy because emotions can’t die until they live. Journaling, praying, yoga all help me gain some grip back to myself again.
I feel like I’ve found myself in that rut so many times lately…and I’ve found it most helpful to just sit in it and be tender with myself.
Grief is a strange beast to deal with. It’ll hit you at unexpected moments. Head on, intense. And not care that you have an entire day ahead of planned, when you look at crullers and they remind you of someone you’ve lost. Sometimes, taking these moments and as much as they suck, living through them and thinking through them, is what helps us get through our agony and bereavement. It’s not an easy or fun realization we must have, (and everyone’s is different) but when you have yours, you slowly will feel better and better.
Be where you are. It’s okay to let the sadness wash over you. Grieving takes time…realistically 1-2 years. Allow it to have its way with you and run its course and you will be okay on the other side.
I’ve learned to accept that some days are just NOT fun. The hard part is convincing others that some days are just like that.
I just want to let you know that you are not alone. You are not alone in your mourning. You are not alone in your failures. You are not alone in your (still not broken) dreams.
At the end of the day it is not about some huge revelation waiting around the corner that will make it all suddenly better – at the end of the day, as I am slowly learning, it is about reaching back to the essentials of your life. Such as breathing, listening to your body, your mind…and breathing again. There is, I am finding, something very reassuring about realizing how much you are alive and how that alone is something to be so thankful for.
Thank you so much for voicing your own struggles and taking the time to let me know I’m not on my own. I wish I could write back to all of you personally; know that I’m overwhelmingly appreciative and grateful. Please continue to share.