also found at: flickr · ILM · last.fm · NEP · popular · rocktimists · shaggy blog stories
shared items · singles jukebox · tumblr · twitter · village blog · you're not the only one

My freelance writing can now be found at mikeatkinson.wordpress.com.
Recently: VV Brown, Alabama 3, Just Jack, Phantom Band, Frankmusik, Twilight Sad, Slaid Cleaves, Alesha Dixon, Bellowhead, The Unthanks, Dizzee Rascal.

On Thursday September 17th, I danced on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square.
Click here to watch, and here to listen.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Eurovision 2007 preview: finals.

All rehearsal photos taken by Andrew of All Kinds Of Everything. Andrew's Flickr stream is here.
Click each song title for the lyrics, and for a link to the official preview video.

First of all, a word or two about the results of the Thursday night qualifiers (which Diamond Geezer Twittered so ably), as they have stirred up a right old hornet's nest among Eurovision fans.

(Here's one angry perspective, and here's the perspective with which I almost entirely agree.)

To put it in a nutshell, all ten qualifying songs from last night are from Eastern European nations: Belarus, FYR Macedonia, Slovenia, Hungary, Georgia, Latvia, Serbia, Bulgaria, Turkey and - possibly the biggest shocker of them all, considering the boos that rang round the hall when the envelope was opened - Moldova. Meanwhile supposedly "dead cert" entries from Switzerland and especially Andorra, as well as hotly tipped favourites from Denmark and Malta, all failed to get through. I'm sure you can imagine the outrage (and the conspiracy theories) from certain Western European quarters; apparently, the atmosphere at last night's after-party at the Euroclub was so subdued and shell-shocked that the venue closed earlier than usual.

Consequently, no less than eight of tomorrow's 24 entries will be drawn from former members of the Soviet Union, with a further four hailing from former Yugoslavian republics. That's what we might call a coup.

(Incidentally, it has also been interesting to witness the "Lordi Effect" fizzle out; none of last night's straight-up rock songs qualified, meaning that the only rocker on Saturday night will be from Finland, the host nation.)

Cornered by Paddy O'Connell and Sarah Cawood at the end of the BBC3 coverage, the Blonde Bloke From Scooch was visibly processing the implications of this coup. You could see the fear in his eyes, as it became ever clearer to him that, once again, the UK doesn't stand a hope in hell of scoring highly tomorrow. (OK, so some of us could have told him that weeks ago. Now is not the time to crow.)

My theory is this: that since the bulk of the Eastern nations joined Eurovision well after the Congratu-Boom-A-Bangy-Diggi-Diggi-Ley years, they are less inclined to see the contest as a camp joke, as we do in the West. Therefore, instead of relying on fading stars or second-rate chancers, they field their biggest stars, take the competition seriously - and hence produce much of the best material.

If the West wants to get back in the running, then it needs to drop the arrogance and the complacency (Big Four, I'm looking at YOU), raise its standards and up its game. What it doesn't need to do is moan and bleat and threaten to take the ball away.

Sermon over. Shall we crack on?

1 - Bosnia & Herzegovina - Rijeka Bez Imena - Maria Sestic.



And here's a classic case of what I'm talking about. Well constructed, well sung, takes itself seriously, and right in tune with Eastern European tastes. OK, so this particular ballad doesn't press all of my buttons, but it picks up a good head of steam as it goes along, and should score as well as anything drawn first of twenty-four can hope to expect.

****

2 - Spain - I Love You Mi Vida - D'Nash.



Depsite the arresting charms of the Fit Blonde One (especially after seeing him flashing his tits in a Finnish sauna during an interval in the semis - God, it's good to reconnect with the Big Fat Gay Gene once a year), I'm rapidly tiring of this clattering, rattling, clod-hopping and, well, just plain noisy effort from this year's sole boyband.

**

3 - Belarus - Work Your Magic - Koldun.



I'm docking a point from Princess Di Lookalike Koldun (or is he just Bob Downe with a black dye job?) after last night's scary and occasionally wobbly showing. You strained yourself a bit on that last note, love. Anyway, to recap: Bond theme, wall climbing, man cleavage, teeth whitener, drama drama drama. And maybe a touch of hubris?

***

4 - Ireland - They Can't Stop The Spring - Dervish.



Um, aren't these lyrics about fifteen years out of date?Yes! The Berlin Wall has fallen, and we all stand together in pan-European harmony! If this were 1992, then maybe. But after Thursday night? I hardly think so. And you talk of global warming as if it's a good thing?

Well, maybe this is the song we all need right now, at this testing time. Bring out the twiddly Celtic flutey bollocks, and let us all bury our differences. From Andorra to Moldova, from Denmark to Georgia, from the press centre to the Euroclub. Dervish, we salute you.

(Sorry, the song. Typical mid-Nineties Celtic flutey bollocks, but also the strongest Irish entry in years, if I'm to be objective for a moment. Personally, I preferred Brian Kennedy's ballad from last year, but an awful lot of people like a bit of Celtic flutey bollocks, and quite a lot of them live in Eastern Europe.)

***

5 - Finland - Leave Me Alone - Hanna Pakarinen.



The only hard rocker left standing, which could aid its chances. Unfortunately, it's also a dog of a song. I really have nothing further to say about this. Sorry. We all dry up some time.

*

6 - FYR Macedonia - Mojot Svet - Karolina Gocheva.



FYROM have an awkward habit of qualifying on Thursdays, then finishing outside the Top Ten on Saturdays, thereby being shoved back down into the semis every year. Will this do the same? I'd say borderline. Quick aide memoire: it's the muzika-granica-balkanska one. Yes, balkanska. Crafty devils, they know what they're doing. D'you know, I feel newly irrelevant to the process.

***

7 - Slovenia - Cvet Z Juga - Alenka Gotar.



I voted for this last night (along with Serbia, Andorra and Denmark), purely on the strength of operatic Alenka's OMGWTF scary-bonkers performance, and hence am adding an extra star. Euro-kinder, this one's a major treat. Do I detect a whiff of Lene Lovich in there somewhere? Or even of Yma Sumac? Watch the hands in particular. How very queer!

*****

8 - Hungary - Unsubstantial Blues - Ruzsa Magdolna.



A great semi-final performance from Hungary's barefoot Elkie Brooks in the making also earns this an extra star. And my, did she work that Bus Stop, treating it at times like an extra percussion instrument. Yes, it's essentially tarted up pub rock - but hell, it works. Did I say "unsubstantial"? I unconditionally withdraw that slur.

****

9 - Lithuania - Love Or Leave - 4Fun.

(I can't find a rehearsal photo for this one. If you know different, leave me a comment.)

"We're sorry for the unscheduled break in transmission. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. In the meantime, some music." The very essence of pleasant but forgettable. Go and re-fill the crisp bowl or something.

**

10 - Greece - Yassou Maria - Sarbel.



Am I just getting jaded, or is the quality of the automatic finalists significantly worse than the work-for-it-bitches qualifiers? See my earlier point about complacency. Could "Shake it up" be the new "fire/desire"? Anyhow, Sarbel's a London boy - as he was at pains to point out on BBC3 last night - so if you're swayed by such things, then Number 10 is the number to dial.

(You'll notice I didn't say much about the actual song. Watch it on the night, and you'll see why.)

**

11 - Georgia - Visionary Dream - Sopho.



Let's just say I'm still learning to love it. There are whirling dervishes, there is sword-fighting, there is absolutely heaps going on musically, but it is all wasted on a culturally arrogant throwback such as I. Those coming-out-of-nowhere, what-happened-there-then, did-someone-pull-the-plug electronic bloops still rock, though.

(Seriously though, a lot of people rate this one highly. It will do well.)

***

12 - Sweden - The Worrying Kind - The Ark.



Weeks and weeks ago, before they had even won the Swedish national finals, I was rooting for The Ark. A well constructed and delightfully arch pastiche of mid-Seventies glitter-pop, which will have you playing Spot The Reference all the way through it (Edison Lighthouse? The Rubettes? Bay City Rollers?), "The Worrying Kind" has My Sort Of Thing written all over it. Will it win? Not a chance. Well, it's all that Archness, you see. It's just a little too pleased with its own cleverness to endear itself to the tele-voters. Oh, and word up to the singer: put 'em away, love!

*****

13 - France - L'Amour La Franaise - Les Fatals Picards.



Following a dismal set of results over the past four years (18th, 15th, 23rd and 22nd), the French have switched tack, dumped the droopy ballads, and fielded a jaunty, chipper, tongue-in-cheek number. Flipping back and forth between French and English (another major concession in its own right), the lyrics reference various Parisian landmarks (how many can YOU spot?), almost in the manner of a sales pitch. (Vote for us, and you too can visit these "iconic" attractions next year!)

Beneath all the chipper jauntiness, I can't help feeling that all concerned are trying just a little too hard.

***

14 - Latvia - Questa Notte - Bonaparti.LV.



Oh dear Lord. This, people, is your next OMGWTF moment. A troupe of, hmm, shall we say visually ill-matched tenors in top hats and jeans, bellowing their way through some sort of Nessun Dorma Lite. For added authenticity, they're also singing in Italian. Can any Euro-anorak tell me the last time we had a Eurovision entry in Italian?

The chaps stroll onto the stage one by one, singing as they make their entrances. It's all going OK until we get to the third one. There's something about that feller that disturbs me.

This could go Top Three, easy. There's no accounting for taste.

**

15 - Russia - Song #1 - Serebro.



From the traditional to the contemporary we lurch, with the most modern sounding song in this year's finals. This is all sharp edges, gleaming surfaces and crunchy, fuzzed out synth riffs, topped with typical hard-faced Noughties "Grr, I'm such a foxy raunch machine, don't f**k with me" attitude. There's not a shred of warmth or tenderness in any of it, of course (and how could there be, with lines such as "I'll take your money, yummy" and "I'm your killing pill"), but such is the lingua franca of our age.

Right then, settle your selves down; we're about to hit a strong patch. All eyes to the screen, please.

**

16 - Germany - Frauen Regier'n Die Welt - Roger Cicero.



Time for some finger-snappin' supper-club swing, then. A jazz/swing singer by profession, Roger is a platinum-selling artist in his home country, who usually performs with an 11-piece band. A shame, then, that the dictates of the playback tape mean that we won't get the chance to experience this song as it should be performed.

Roger's a sharply-dressed dude in a nice hat, whose performance strikes just the right note of amused insouciance. If this contest was truly a song contest (yeah, right), then this one would deserve to win it. It's a wry take on gender politics, sung from the point of view of a hapless chauvinist who can't quite grasp why women consistently run rings around him and his type. The lyrics are clever and funny (with references to Beckham and Clinton in the final verse), the swing arrangement is sharp and tight, and there's a real momentum to the whole effort. Class in a glass.

*****

17 - Serbia - Molitva - Marija Serifovic.



A great performance by Marija on Thursday, which fully deserved to qualify. Forget the gimmicks; this one's all about, ahem, Soul Passion and Commitment. Despite not having a clue what she's singing about, I found this genuinely affecting. You may snigger when she walks out on stage, but you may be sniffling before the three minutes are through. I predict that Serbia will be neck and neck in the voting with the next song. If we can call it a "song", that is....

*****

18 - Ukraine - Dancing Lasha Tumbai - Verka Serduchka.



Full disclosure: I've got a tenner riding on this, at odds of 11-1. If it wins, then expect another aggrieved outcry from certain quarters, as the merits of the Ukranian entry have precious little to do with songcraft and musicianship, and everything to do with novelty, spectacle, and sheer OMGWTF-ness.

Now that Denmark's DQ has been dispensed with, Verka is the only drag queen left standing. Christopher Biggins in bacofoil, yes. We all thought that as well.

Did anyone else ever play Tetris on a Nintendo Gameboy? Didn't something like this play at the end of Level 10? It was all so long ago...

*****

19 - United Kingdom - Flying The Flag (For You) - Scooch.



I interviewed the Australian trolley-dolley comedienne and general Friend Of The Gays Pam Ann earlier this week, and was mightily cheered to discover that we are as one in our withering contempt for this awful, witless piece of garbage. ("They're like the Easyjet version of Steps!")

Oh please, DON'T tell me it's "camp". Sorry, but it's way too cynical and calculated for that, what with its arse-clenching innuendos and its grim Butlins Redcoat determination to be "fun". Well, I say "calculated" - but in actual fact, "Flying The Flag" is a virtual blueprint for failure, which presses every wrong button on the flight deck. (Coming straight after Verka Serduchka has strained our chuckle bones to breaking point won't exactly help its chances, either.)

Cheap, tacky, unfunny and irritating. Have we learnt nothing from the Fast Food Rockers?

*

20 - Romania - Liubi, Liubi, I Love You - Todomondo.



Sung in multiple languages (can YOU count how many?), this deploys the Zorba The Greek slow-to-fast trick. It starts slow; it ends fast. That's all you need to know.

***

21 - Bulgaria - Water - Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov.



Well, well, well, I didn't expect to see you here. With a much improved position in the draw, Bulgaria's yelpy tranceoid bashathon could score high on the night. Put the needle on the record! Pump up the volume! CHOOOON!

*****

22 - Turkey - Shake It Up Shekerim - Kenan Dogulu.



Let me consult my handwritten notes from Thursday night.

"I still don't get it. Brain gone numb. 4/10."

Yes, that just about covers it. Look, I've been in this Internet caff near Victoria station for well over an hour now, and I've got to check out of the hotel in 45 minutes. You think I'm going to waste time by dredging up interesting things to say about Turkey?

If you liked the Greek entry, then you'll probably like this one as well. It's the battle of the Shake It Ups, basically.

**

23 - Armenia - Anytime You Need - Hayko.



After five jolly uptempo songs in a row, the time might be just right for this kind of traditional love ballad. The lyrics are trite, the sentiments are stock, and there isn't a fresh idea to be found anywhere, but there's no accounting for taste.

*

24 - Moldova - Fight - Natalia Barbu.



Does her mother know she's out dressed like that? Rocking the Dirrty-era Xtina Aguilera look in half-mast leather kecks and high-cut pantyhose, Natalia's strident, jarring performance had me wincing in pain on Thursday night. Chig says that this is the other rock track of the night, to be placed alongside the earlier Finnish entry. Personally, I wouldn't place it in the same category. Actually, I'd like to place it in a sealed box and hurl it into the Baltic. But that's just me.

Are we done? Yes, we're done.

*

Mystic Mike's Crap Prediction: Ukraine to win by a narrow margin over Serbia, with Latvia in third position. Top Ten placings for Belarus, Slovenia, Hungary, Georgia, Germany, Bulgaria and Turkey. Bottom three for Lithuania, France and Les Royaumes Unis.

Have a lovely Eurovision, and I'll see you in the comments box later for a full post-mortem.

Labels: eurovision2007

· link to this

Freelance Friday #7: Bumper bonus edition.

Well, what a week it has been. Readers, I have been working my lazy-ass BUTT off over the past seven days, and here's the evidence. Scroll down for concert reviews of Diana Ross (personal highlight: The Boss, although for most of the audience it was, sigh, Endless Love) and From The Jam featuring Bruce Foxton and Rick Buckler (triumphing against all expectation, and the single most enjoyable gig I've attended since Rufus Wainwright a few years back).

I've also got four pieces in today's Mike-packed Essential Guide,which is the Nottingham Evening Post's weekly arts and ents supplement. The lead album review for Rufus Wainwright's superb album; the lead book review for John Kennedy O'Connor's official history of Eurovision; a full page preview of tomorrow's Eurovision finals (in which Mystic Mike falls flat on his arse, but no matter); and the cover story, which also features on the masthead of the main paper. I'm really proud of my interview with the lovely Jason Donovan, who turned out to be my most open and forthcoming interviewee to date. Whoda thought it? Whadda guy. I won't hear a word said against him.

And so, if you've been scratching your heads over my Short Stupid Posts and wondering whether I was going a little bonkers - well, maybe they were a just a necessary counter-reaction to all the Reasonable and Sensible stuff that I was working on elsewhere. TD sometimes feels like my playpen, and I enjoy rattling the bars from time to time.

I know that I sometimes brag and name-drop a little bit more than I should - and it doesn't take a degree in Psychology to analyse which aspects of my personality that springs from - but here's the context. For most of my life, I've been labouring under the belief that I never had a vocation. Whereas, actually, in my teens and early twenties, I did. It's just that I never dared to admit it to myself, as I was convinced - totally and utterly convinced - that I wasn't up to it, and would get noewhere by attempting to follow it. Now, at the ripe old age of 45, I find myself actually following that vocation - music journalism - and loving every minute of it.

I'm under no careerist illusions here. This week's freelance-fest was merely the consequence of a random roll of the dice. Some weeks are quiet, others are busy, and I may well never have a week quite like this again. That's OK. But for now, if you'll forgive me the indulgence, I'm feeling pretty f**king amazing.

The Eurovision finals previews will be along in the fullness of time. I shall now go away, eat my sandwich, and attempt to get over myself.

· link to this

Interview: Jason Donovan.

This article orginally appeared in the Nottingham Evening Post.



Once all but consigned to the celebrity dumper, Jason Donovan has been enjoying a remarkable comeback. Indeed, his current All The Hits And More tour sees him headlining at major concert venues for the first time since the old hit-making days. For Jason, the tour will be something of a reflection on the past, with some self-indulgence in terms of new material.

Whether you should call that self-indulgent, I dont know. Because those songs havent necessarily been heard before, Id be cheating myself if I didnt get the opportunity to air them. But therell be about 70 percent old to 30 percent new.

If people want to view the show as a nostalgia trip, then Jason is entirely comfortable with that.

I was listening the other day to a friends compilation of Eighties music, and it really put a smile on my face. Im sure that a lot of the people that will be at the shows would have listened to Rick Astley, and Bros, and the usual suspects from that time. So it will be a bit of a celebration.

What relationship does Jason have with those old songs? After all, it could feel somewhat strange to be still singing them, if he has evolved into a different person from the pop idol of his youth.

Of course, and until I actually get out there, I cant really tell you what that relationship is. However, I am extremely proud of my past. If you look at those Stock Aitken Waterman songs, they had great melodies and I would argue that you could put some of those melodies onto todays beats, and get away with it.

Although often regarded as deeply uncool at the time, it is remarkable how well some of the SAW productions have aged. After all, nothing dates as quickly as the fashionable, and its often the so-called disposable, manufactured pop which stands the test of time best of all.

It depends on how analytical you want to be, though. Ive always had a broad musical taste. I can listen, as I did in those days, to a New Order record, and then pick up one of the Donna Summer tracks that Stock Aitken Waterman produced. And I was also a big Cure fan. But if you dont like a particular scene, you dont have to buy into it. Nowadays, its the Pop Idols and X Factors which get heavily criticised but every poets a thief, and everything has an element of the old. It just depends on how you dress it up to make it look new. So what is cool? I dont know, you tell me.

That said, there seems to be a clear difference between the Stock Aitken Waterman acts, who were trained for stardom and understood the game, and todays reality TV contestants, most of whom are put on public display before they are truly ready, in the belief that they are living their dream Isnt there something rather cruel about that?

Maybe, but then talent will always come through. To a certain degree, Id even put myself in the same category. My singing abilities early on werent fantastic. But I had the additional element of the exposure from Neighbours, and the marriage of those two was quite explosive.

These days, I guess it just comes down to phone votes. Its the networks trying to gain their revenue. Its not so much from advertising any more, so its from phone voting instead. So we keep having to move on to the next star of X Factor, and the next celebrity, and so its a very quick moving world. But the Leonas and the Will Youngs are very talented people. Believe me, it takes a lot of guts and I havent done it very often myself to get up on live television and sing. Thats a tough art.



Were Jasons own pop idol days a pleasant time, to be looked back on with affection, or was he just under immense pressure?

At the time, there was a lot of pressure, of course. Any business as it was, really, to a certain degree has pressure with it, if its going to be successful. Its not until you look back with hindsight that you think: wow, those really were glory days. Im very lucky that I stuck it out. Do I regret it? Not in the slightest.

Its given me a good lifestyle, and put my kids through a good education, and so there are those bottom lines but on a formative level, Ive also discovered a great love of music, and that transcends into the work Ive done in the last fifteen years where it hasnt been as high profile.

Youd be very deluded to think that a career could maintain a 1989 level for twenty or thirty years. Some people are more successful at it than others, and youve got to learn not to compare yourself to other people in life, otherwise you end up wandering around thinking: God, Im not good enough for this world.



As for Jasons perceived fall from grace in the latter half of the Nineties, maybe the media were handed a story which they couldnt resist: Clean-cut Boy Goes Bad. There was a certain amount of shock when he dropped the wholesome image, and made no attempt to hide the more hedonistic aspects of his lifestyle. Although this was presented to us as a troubled time, was it perhaps more of a period of liberation?

You may well be right. The great thing about being interviewed is that I get people analysing my life more than I ever look at it, so theres an element of comedy from my perspective. But I looked at myself in Joseph, and saw a technicolour dreamcoat, a loincloth and pair of long white socks, and thought: you know what, is this where I want to be? Not quite!

So I went out to have a good time. Id worked hard for seven or eight years, I had money in the bank, and I could afford to do it. I would argue: what person in my position wouldnt? If you look at our celebrities at the moment, nine out of ten tend to go down that line.

In a cultural sense, the happy clean-cut boys of the Eighties got washed away by Nirvana in the early Nineties. So there was a general rebellion against all that. But I came to realise a few years ago that theres no such thing as being cool. You can take as many drugs as you want, but youre either going to be alive or dead. How you function as an individual is what youre going to be judged upon, whether you value that judgement or not.

It was funny going back into Chitty Chitty Bang Bang at the London Palladium, where I did Joseph, and where I took the decision to go into another direction. To see a bunch of kids smile, while youre flying around in a stupid little plane: thats what its all about.

Jason Donovan plays the Nottingham Royal Concert Hall on Thursday May 17th.

Labels: celebs, eveningpost, interviews, popmusic

· link to this

Preview: Eurovision 2007.

This article orginally appeared in the Nottingham Evening Post. As you will quickly discover, it went to press in advance of last night's semi-finals (blush).

Good grief, can it really be that time of the year already? Tomorrow evening at 8pm, at the Hartwall Arena in Helsinki, the worlds most gloriously over-the-top musical extravaganza returns for the 52nd time. Those of you with the stamina for such a marathon of Light Entertainment can expect to feast nay, to gorge yourselves upon the spectacle of 24 competing nations, all doing their absolute darndest to capture your attention (and later on, your votes) in the space of three minutes. Prepare yourselves for the usual dizzying array of bizarre costumes, frenetic dance routines, corny rhymes, gimmicks a-go-go, endless key changes, and even whisper it if you dare the occasional genuinely good song.

By the time you read this, 18 of the 42 participating acts will already be packing their bags, having failed to qualify from last nights semi-final. A few of you may even have caught the show on BBC3 and if you did, you deserve hearty congratulations for making it through a record-busting, bottom-numbing, brain-scrambling run of 28 songs. The ten semi-finalists with the largest number of votes will now join the ten highest scoring countries from last years final, plus the big four France, Germany, Spain and the UK who make the largest financial contribution to the staging of the contest.

Based on previous form, these ten semi-finalists are the acts to watch for not only have they had longer to rehearse, but they will also still be surfing from the confidence boost of last nights results. In the 2006 finals, eight songs in the top ten were qualifiers from the semis, including the eventual winner, Hard Rock Hallelujah by Lordi.

Ah yes, the Lordi effect. No doubt hoping that the Finnish victory has opened the doors to rock music at Eurovision at long last, several countries have pitched their hairiest, croakiest, grizzliest old rockers into the battlefield, while others have spiced up their jolly Europop ditties with grinding metal guitars. Best of all, the tiny state of Andorra has fielded the most youthful and exciting entry of the year: a terrific slice of baggy-shorted punk-pop from a bunch of floppy-haired teenagers called Anonymous, which pitches itself somewhere between Green Day and Blink 182.

That said, lovers of High Camp will still find plenty to squeal about. Although Denmarks drag queen DQ may already be on the way home (and lets hope that he isnt), Ukraines tubby cross-dresser Verka Serduchka is sure to raise the roof with three minutes of complete and utter nonsense, which has already caused an outcry in his native land. (Always a good sign: many Finns were up in arms about the supposedly Satanic Lordi this time last year). Verkas hysterically uptempo Dancing Lasha Tumbai may be trash, and it certainly doesnt hold up to repeated listenings (trust me on this) but its hugely entertaining trash, and thats what counts.

Whatever else you might say about it, the 2007 contest is certainly not short on musical variety. Germanys Roger Cicero serves up finger-snapping supper club swing, the Belgians offer classic Seventies disco in the style of Earth Wind and Fire, Portugal and Norway have gone Latin American, and Latvia are fielding a six-man troupe of operatic tenors in top hats.

Other hotly tipped favourites include Swedens The Ark, whose The Worrying Kind is a fantastic pastiche of the sort of glitter-pop that The Sweet, Mud and The Rubettes were churning out over thirty years ago. Indeed, parts of the melody are so similar to Edison Lighthouses 1970 chart-topper Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) that the original songwriter has publicly accused them of plagiarism.

In stark contrast, Serbia has the years best ballad: the powerful Molitva, performed by a homely looking girl (Marija Serifovic) whose lack of glamour is compensated for by a stunning vocal presence. Serbia is sure to benefit from friendly voting from its Eastern European neighbours, and looks certain to place within the Top Five. Expect similarly high placings from Switzerlands action-packed Eurodance belter Vampires Are Alive, and from the dram