is this it?

Every now and then you look at your life and realize it's time for a change.
You may had a notion that something is bothering you, something seemed wrong all along, something is scratching the peaceful surface of your existence. Most of the time you seem to have no idea, what it is that bothers you, that keeps your thoughts preoccupied, makes your nights sleepless, your days stressful and your pleasures dissatisfying.

Well, take a moment. Sit down with me. Breathe. Think. Listen to this annoying head in your voice (which is mine): It's time for change. All your half-hearted excuses, all your elusions are unmasked. You have known for a while now, the right thing to do.

So, take another breath, one last look, collect what is left of yours and save your regets for someone else.

Do it already.



CocoRosie // Lemonade [YouTube]

Nilla - [self-service]

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21. Dec, 00:54

You only realize them when you crossed them.


["The vice you excuse: excess of any sort
– detest: cant"]

The one virtue I detest the most: fear.
What's next? is the question we're afraid of.


Alkaline Trio // Bleeder

Erlend Oye // It's a Fine Day [YouTube]

Nilla - [self-service]

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26. Apr, 18:33

You're wasting all this time because you don't know what you want.




The Black Keys // Dead and Gone [YouTube]

Nilla - [self-service]

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22. Mar, 13:48

Stony roads, iron hearts.

You, you still have all the answers
And you, you still have them too
And we, we live half in the day time
And we, we live half at night



I was one of those pitiful teenagers who carve things in their skin to make them feel something. The physical pain, the color of fresh, viscous blood, the gradual healing scar- for a little while it appears giving a compensation for all the rotten emotions and stirrings one is faced in real (teenage) life. I always found it amazing how the body can cope with all kind of injuries.. As the years pass the flesh grows, skin recovers, bruises disappear. On my wrists, on my thigh, on my knee bend- you can not see any mark. There is nothing left of this pain. And then there is the heart, this knobbly, crooked muscle. Pumping the blood through our veins, feeding our brain with all those crumbled emotions. The heart does also recover. Agony fades with time, on becomes attuned to deprivation and sentiments become negligible. But no matter how much time will pass, the heart does not loose any of its scars. With every person who trespasses your life, your heart more likely toughens to a stunted, crumbled knot. Maybe thats why sometimes we can't believe our own luck, if we found someone who is just nuts about this ugly, little clumb in our chest.




The XX // VCR

Nilla - [self-service]

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9. Oct, 22:29

suomi on paska maa.






Mavis Staples // My Own Eyes

Nilla - [self-service]

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27. Sep, 21:59

What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life?What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life. What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing With My Life? What Am I Doing.


For once in my life I'd like to live in the present.
Not the past, not the future, not in dreams, not in fear.
I want to be here, with my heart, my mind, my body.
I want to control my emotions, my thoughts, my words, my actions.
I want to be in charge of my life.
Why is it so hard?


FM Belfast // Underwear [YouTube]

Nilla - [self-service]

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21. Sep, 11:19

We're reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was






Band Of Horses // No One's Gonna Love You [YouTube]

Nilla - [self-service]

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21. Sep, 00:52

I'm still not quite getting there: Either its a strange appeal for psychopaths or a very self-destructive penchant for them.

*you, boy, dont have learned it in the mental class


[Kat. things we can learn from music.]


Seapony // Go Away [YouTube]

Nilla - [self-service]

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8. Aug, 18:07

[Kat. 100 Reasons why I love the World Wide Web ]
or: What To Talk About When You Have Nothing To Talk About

Reason #8: It enriches social skills.


Something about death, fear & courage. About holidays, alienation, family bonding and getting intimate with strangers.



Radiohead // Optimistic [YouTube]

Nilla - [self-service]

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19. Jan, 13:37

How To Keep A Promise?
Instructions:

1 Take time to consider if keeping the promise in question is feasible. Being realistic and not going too much above and beyond what you are capable of will help you keep your promise successfully.

2 Note the steps required to keep your promise.

3 Keep a record of your progress. You are more likely to keep your promise when you write it down.

4 Make notes about your progress. If parts of the plan aren't working, then make alterations.

5 Communicate any problems you have. This way you can get help, if necessary.


[Kat. 100 Reasons why I love the World Wide Web]
No#1: It offers solutions to EVERYTHING.[via]


Broken Social Scene // Anthems To A 17-Year Old Girl [MyVideo]

Nilla - [self-service]

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14. Dec, 11:13