Al Roker, shameless shitter, goes commando at the White House

A few years ago Al Roker underwent bariatric surgery in order to lose weight, and the jolly fat man we were used to seeing report the weather on NBC's "Today Show" became a jolly thin man. For those of you who do not know, bariatric surgery involves one of a few techniques to shrink the amount of room one has in his or her stomach to retain food. A portion of the stomach can be removed, or a band can be placed near the top of the stomach, thus causing the patient to eat less.

Recently, Roker was interviewed on television and discussed an incident he wrote about in his book Never Goin' Back: Winning the Weight-Loss Battle for Good. The incident involved a visit he took to the White House when George W. Bush was in office, a visit that culminated in Roker's pooping his pants, shart-style.

From Roker's account, the pants-pooping was the result of his attempt to let a little left cheek sneak-action slide by during a moment of privacy in the hallway leading to the press room: "And as I'm walking to the press room, well, I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out."

Panicking, Roker managed to gain entrance to the press room lavatory before being ferreted out as a pants-pooper. Once inside he tossed out his underwear, cleaned himself off, and "just went commando" for the remainder of his visit.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am kind of impressed with how well he handled himself. Not only was he in the most prestigious home in the country, but he was minutes away from gathering with other news professionals to hear the president speak--other news professionals who were all most likely wearing underwear.

So why did this happen? According to Dr. Bipan Chand, a physician who has performed over 2,000 bariatric procedures, Roker experienced "dumping." I know, I know: You could have told me that. But dumping means more than taking a dump to a bariatric procedure patient. When someone who has undergone bariatric surgery, dumping refers to the patient's gastrointestinal tract negatively reacting to being filled with too much sugar. This condition causes a rapid increase in intestinal fluid, and the patient may either vomit or suffer from diarrhea--the deadly shart. Chand suggests this process is negative feedback for the patient, and that he or she will stop eating so much to avoid the repercussions. (I guess this is the adult stomach surgery version of touching the stove as a small child, only your finger is your ass, and the stove is crap in your underwear.)

Finally, we offer a remix version of Roker's interview. This is the Intellectual Appreciate of Poop Humor website, after all.

(courtesy of a blog entry from www.theblaze.com.)

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