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Tradecraft

The Covert Comic

Secret 923.6.  You are what you can neither confirm nor deny.

The following document contains proven principles of intelligence tradecraft, as compiled and officially not published by CIA officer John Alejandro King.

In the intelligence world, tradecraft refers to the set of techniques employed by espionage officers to ensure the secure and fruitful conduct of intelligence operations.  These techniques include the collection and transmission of sensitive information, care and handling of agents, covert political and/or paramilitary action, the securing of book deals, film rights, merchandising agreements, etc.

Aspiring and established spooks alike are encouraged to study and internalize the concepts in this document, and officially not put them into practice in their own intelligence careers.

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The , the whole  and nothing but the .

... So help me .

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Secret 653124141.  Experience is a double agent.

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The possession of facts is knowledge; the use of facts is wisdom; the creation of facts is covert action.

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Not only are things not what they appear to be, they're not even what they are.

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Secret 1.1.  In the beginning was the Classification, and the Classification was with the Word, and the Classification was the Word.

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Actionable intelligence.  1. (CIA Headquarters) Information, typically sensitive, the obtainment of which enables the furthering of US policy objectives.  2. (CIA Hindquarters) Information, typically insensitive, the obtainment of which enables the furthering of universal fertility objectives.

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They are also clueless, who already know the answer.

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Secret 6.329.  The contact you're cold pitching is always you.

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Note: the following information should be treated as sensitive.  It has feelings too.

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Infiltration is the sincerest form of flattery.

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Secret 9591514.  If history is written in blood, it's redacted with urine.

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Anyone without a trace of spy dust on their person is a spy.

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Secret 29916091.  It may be easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission, but it's smarter to get ordered to do it. 

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A CIA intelligence estimate is only as inaccurate as its subject matter.

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Secret 5691316.  Never confuse power with greatness.  Power is far greater than greatness.

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My mother used to tell me: Always wash between your ears.

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Sex in the future will be much like it is today.  That is, it'll be in the future.

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Transparency implies cover.

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If you write on the mirror with your finger before it steams up, you're CIA material.

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Any first-year analyst can tell you what's happening.  But it takes a seasoned intelligence professional to show that nothing's happening at all. 

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The E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. Principle

When practicing tradecraft, highly decorated intelligence officers employ the E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. principle.   Use the E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. principle in your own intelligence operations each and every day!

E stands for ESPIONAGE.

Comment: This is to help you remember that it's called the 'E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E.' principle.

S stands for SPYING. 

Comment: Interestingly, the word 'spy' comes from the word 'espionage.'  Knowing this fact can further assist you in remembering the E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. principle, and can make you fun at parties (which are often useful venues for intelligence gathering).

P stands for PRACTICE.

Comment: Always practice good tradecraft (and always practice memorizing the E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. principle!).

I stands for INTELLIGENCE.

Comment: In the US Intelligence Community we practice the E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. principle because we know we can never have enough intelligence.

O stands for OPERATIONS. 

Comment: Useful intelligence is the result of effective intelligence operations.  Effective intelligence operations are the result of good tradecraft.  Good tradecraft is the result of constantly studying the E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. principle.  Constantly studying the E.S.P.I.O.N.A.G.E. principle is the manifestation of a deep-seeded inner hunger that is ultimately inseparable from one's essential being.  One's essential being is the expression either of the willful act of an intelligent creator, or evolutionary mechanisms such as natural selecti