Family
Frederick J. Goodall - July 26, 2009
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As I was in the midst of changing my 1-year-old son’s malodorous diaper, my 8-year-old daughter, Nee, walked in and asked, “What’cha doin’?”
I intended to say, “I’m being poisoned by killer baby poop.” Instead, I said, “I’m changing X’s diaper. Would you care to help?”
“No,” she said. “I can’t change his diaper.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because I don’t have a penis.” Of all the things I expected her to say, this was not one of them. After regaining my composure, I asked her how her not having a penis affected her ability to change a diaper.
“I don’t know how to wipe a penis,” she said. “How am I supposed to know when it is clean?”
“You know it’s clean when you’ve wiped away everything.” I said.
“It’s easy for you to tell when it’s clean,” she said “Because you have a penis.” Now this conversation was getting really weird. I figured it was time to redirect the discussion.
“What about Mommy?” I asked. “Mommy doesn’t have a penis and she knows how to change the baby’s diaper.”
“That’s because she’s MOMMY,” Nee responded. Apparently mommies don’t need a penis in order to get things done. I was going to explain to Nee how I, a lowly dad, managed to change her diaper, but I figured it was best to end this conversation.
I finally finished changing the diaper, sent Nee away to pray for repentance, and retreated to my bedroom to induce vomiting. I’m not sure what made me more nauseous – my son’s poopy diaper or discussing penises with my daughter.
Stay Strong,
93 Comments
I hear you….we have the 9 year old boy and the girl…initially he was curious at 7 and just peered a bit…no questions..I explained it briefly and then went into this long discussion about PRIVACY during diaper changes…LOL…now she is curious about the bathroom as we enter the potty training phase and we are telling her that he needs PRIVACY….I don’t mind her seeing me naked though I am sure it traumatizes her, but I am against her seeing Dad and brother naked. Interesting enough when the boy was young I was not so vigilant about this and he has a very appropriate body image and knows how to not stare at women when at a pool or beach (unless you are unusual looking LOL)….Even now he sees me in bra and panties and will say “MOooooommm put on some clothes”. My husband is like soooo against kids seeing him naked he darts away and stuff.
I hear you….we have the 9 year old boy and the girl…initially he was curious at 7 and just peered a bit…no questions..I explained it briefly and then went into this long discussion about PRIVACY during diaper changes…LOL…now she is curious about the bathroom as we enter the potty training phase and we are telling her that he needs PRIVACY….I don’t mind her seeing me naked though I am sure it traumatizes her, but I am against her seeing Dad and brother naked. Interesting enough when the boy was young I was not so vigilant about this and he has a very appropriate body image and knows how to not stare at women when at a pool or beach (unless you are unusual looking LOL)….Even now he sees me in bra and panties and will say “MOooooommm put on some clothes”. My husband is like soooo against kids seeing him naked he darts away and stuff.
LOL!! Oh my goodness!! You handled that so brilliantly tho. I am not sure what I would’ve done! lol!
Oh my goodness!
I don’t know what I would have said. Sounds like you did pretty good though. You will definitely have to remind her of this conversation when she gets older.
Oh my goodness!
I don’t know what I would have said. Sounds like you did pretty good though. You will definitely have to remind her of this conversation when she gets older.
Ummm. That certainly was an interesting conversation. I’m so glad I’m a long way away from poopy diapers. And the only conversations I have about penises with my teenage daughters is to tell them to stay away from them. LOL. This post reminds me of all the times my girls made my jaw drop when they were little.
Ummm. That certainly was an interesting conversation. I’m so glad I’m a long way away from poopy diapers. And the only conversations I have about penises with my teenage daughters is to tell them to stay away from them. LOL. This post reminds me of all the times my girls made my jaw drop when they were little.
Ahh, the joys of changing diapers. I’m glad I’m way past that. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. Not even for my grandchildren should I be lucky enough to have grandchildren. But remind me one day to tell you about “The Great Do Do incident of 1996.”
Ahh, the joys of changing diapers. I’m glad I’m way past that. I don’t think I’ll ever do that again. Not even for my grandchildren should I be lucky enough to have grandchildren. But remind me one day to tell you about “The Great Do Do incident of 1996.”
OMG! We are about to go through the same set of conversations! Nice!
OMG! We are about to go through the same set of conversations! Nice!
This is the cutest story. It lets you know how smart little people are with their own logic in their own little worlds. Stopping by from SITS. to thank you for reading my latest blog and leaving a comment.
This is the cutest story. It lets you know how smart little people are with their own logic in their own little worlds. Stopping by from SITS. to thank you for reading my latest blog and leaving a comment.
lol. how funny! good job redirecting though!
i have a strange story, sort of connected.
i have a younger brother. he was born when i was 10. when he was a baby, my mom used a diaper changing moment to discuss male anatomy, where babies come from (testicles are here, this is where sperms comes from), and why i needed to stay a virgin for a long, long time. it was hella awkward & very clinical LOL, but i knew what was what when it was time for health class LOL.
lol. how funny! good job redirecting though!
i have a strange story, sort of connected.
i have a younger brother. he was born when i was 10. when he was a baby, my mom used a diaper changing moment to discuss male anatomy, where babies come from (testicles are here, this is where sperms comes from), and why i needed to stay a virgin for a long, long time. it was hella awkward & very clinical LOL, but i knew what was what when it was time for health class LOL.
I would have been incapacitated with side splitting laughter if I was in your shoes at that moment. Oh, my. Where do their brains come up with this stuff?! Too funny.
I would have been incapacitated with side splitting laughter if I was in your shoes at that moment. Oh, my. Where do their brains come up with this stuff?! Too funny.