Silly Parents, Beer Is (NOT) For Kids
Friday, July 22nd, 2011 • Filed under Drunks, Other • Comment
Kids are trying to grow up WAY too fast these days. “Hi there, Susie. I like your purple hair streaks. And your seven-inch heels. And that’s a cool iPhone…did you get it for your sixth birthday?”
But while these things may be annoying (or enviable), at least they’re not dangerous. According to True Crime Report, a woman in Connecticut was caught giving her children alcohol. Police spotted the family at a local playground…but instead of playing like all the other kids, their 4 year-old son was drinking a 40-ounce of Steel Reserve beer. Witnesses say the mother likes telling the child to drink beer, then tease him for being an alcoholic. But it gets worse…after being tested, their 10 month-old daughter was found to have traces of alcohol and cocaine in her blood. I guess endless supplies of junk food and 6 hours of TV doesn’t seem so bad after all.
Make An Illegal U-Turn
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011 • Filed under Theft • Comment
GPS’s are really something. I mean, who doesn’t want a robot constantly shouting directions…in addition to your family members a.k.a backseat drivers? But I guess it’s worth it, if your GPS has a sexy Australian voice setting. Or a Mr. T setting. Or even…Yoda!
So, why on earth would you want to steal one? These guys didn’t seem to have a problem with it…or with stealing loads of other stuff in their Orlando neighborhood. But something went wrong when the GPS they had took actually allowed the police to track them. (A GPS tracking something? Huh! Fancy that.) Their secret hideout was finally found, completely filled with everything they had stolen. “Going to jail, they are.”
Thanks to Beatrice for this!
iDiots
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011 • Filed under Caught on tape, Robberies • Comment
Going along with the technology theme…what is the big deal with Apple products? What if I DON’T want my cell phone to play music, surf the net, voice-text 400 people at a time, AND shave my legs for me?
But iPads are definitely popular right now. Apparently, even among criminals. (Hey, THEY need to shave, too.) Two men in Georgia broke into Target with a crowbar, broke the glass case, and stole eighteen iPads. All in just seconds, according to AJC. This would’ve been impressive, if it hadn’t been for the security camera. And technology is supposed to make stuff easier for the dimwits…
Stick It To The Man
Monday, July 11th, 2011 • Filed under Other • 5 Comments
Food for thought: Maybe the crime is completely acceptable, and it’s the LAW that’s ridiculous? That doesn’t happen often, but there’s definitely a chance. For example, if I go to Chicago, I could be arrested for flying a kite. But we’ve got a whole different website for that kind of stuff.
This poor lady in the economically depressed town of Oak Park, Michigan was arrested for growing a vegetable garden. She had wanted a cheaper, healthier way to provide food for her children, so she started growing some beans in the front yard. Apparently, this really ticked off the city-planner-person-boss-guy. He gave her a warning, then a ticket, and then a misdemeanor charge. But according to True Crime Report, she refused to back down, and might even be heading towards a trial. I’m guessing this is one of the few occasions where eating your vegetables might actually be bad for you.
Fish ‘N Chips
Monday, July 11th, 2011 • Filed under Burglaries, Caught on tape • Comment
Some crimes sound a little too dumb to be true. Like, something from a Disney Channel show. Except criminal activity involves prisons and money instead of hideous outfits and even worse acting….
According to Local 12, this man in Cincinnati isn’t exactly main character material. He broke into a potato chip plant, and proceeded to steal a computer disk, vehicle titles, a whole book of payroll checks, and other business papers. He then left a note for the company president demanding that $22,000 be left in a bucket for him, or else he would “expose personal matters of employees” and burn everything he had stolen. The president called the police, of course, who set up a bucket filled with convincingly fake cash, as well as surveillance material. They spotted the crook dragging the bucket away with a fishing pole…and arrested him in the forest, all tangled up in the fishing line. Aaaand…scene!
Food, Glorious Food
Tuesday, July 5th, 2011 • Filed under Assaults, Other Weapons • 1 Comment
Some people take nutrition a little TOO seriously. I mean, I’m cool with the whole eight (Six? Twelve? That pyramid isn’t much help.) servings of whole grain thing…but once Tofurkey makes an appearance, I’m out.
Not only is this woman completely overreacting, she’s also a complete idiot when it comes to health. (Typical American chick.) As she was serving breakfast for her family, her 9 year old grandson gobbled down a few too many strips of bacon. She then proceeded to nag him about it ALL day. But it got a whole lot worse at night, when she chased the poor kid around the backyard and sprayed him right in the face with a garden hose. According to True Crime Report, he escaped for a minute to call his mom…but Crazy Grandma descended upon him once again. The fight eventually attracted an audience, and, finally, the police. So for all you health freaks out there, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say pork isn’t exactly brain food.
Dear Diary
Friday, July 1st, 2011 • Filed under Murderers • Comment
Imagination is a good thing, right? I mean, no one wants to watch a movie where the main character is a successful accountant who plays chess in his free time and owns a well-behaved goldfish. Where’s the fun in that?
But sometimes people can take their fantasies a little too far. According to Tru TV, a man in Texas had filled over FOUR journals with his terrifying thoughts and planning. Hidden deep in the woods, they were found in a red cooler…along with 31 animal skulls. According to notebooks, the man’s dream was to become America’s most famous serial killer, with a rate of 700 people in 20 years. Fortunately, he was arrested long before he came even close to achieving that goal. Hmm…new idea. Maybe if the accountant played chess with his goldfish?
Fashionable AND Practical
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011 • Filed under Assaults, Other Weapons, Self Defense • Comment
It’s really no fun being a scapegoat. Actually, I doubt it’s fun being any type of goat at all. But at least the animal sort can bite-attack anyone who’s being irksome. Unfortunately, taking that course of action might be frowned upon in the human world…
However, the other things that occur in this so-called “human world” aren’t much less ridiculous. Two brothers were entering a McDonald’s Drive-Thru around 3:00 am when they spotted a woman and her three friends being assaulted. Playing heroes, the two of them rushed to help the women a few yards away. Once they had chased off the attackers and made sure no one had been seriously hurt, the two brothers walked back to their car. A few minutes later, one of the assault victims advanced upon them with yelling, punches, spitting….and her high-heeled shoe. According to True Crime Report, the woman had simply mistaken them for her attackers. Sadly, this resulted in 18 months in prison for her, and a permanent eye-patch for one of the men.