Crochet Rules
I don’t much care for rules. These are more like… guidelines. Some of the following admonitions are personal and apply only to my own crochet designing (#25 in particular), but most may be generalized.
I ignore #2, #7 and #11 all the time and as a result I end up breaking #5.
In no particular order of importance, here’s a rundown of Doris’ Crochet Caveats:
Rule #1: No time spent crocheting is ever wasted.
Rule #2: Keep track of your markers.
Rule #3: That’s not a mistake, that’s a design element.
Rule #4: There’s no such thing as too much yarn.
Rule #5: There’s no crying in crochet.
Rule #6: Never start a project without at least two hooks in the required size.
Rule #7: No coffee within 10 feet of yarn, projects, patterns or critical paperwork.
Rule #8: Block that puppy.
Rule #9: If the hook is not moving easily and smoothly in and out of the stitches, you are crocheting too tightly. Relax.
Rule #10: If it hurts, stop.
Rule #11: Check your work. Often.
Rule #12: Seam crochet only when absolutely unavoidable.
Rule #13: Cut yarn only when absolutely unavoidable (see special circumstance Rule #19).
Rule #14: The private should look as good as the public.
Rule #15: Whenever doable, obtain twice as much yarn as you think the project will require (a corollary to Rule #4).
Rule #16: There is no right way or wrong way, but there is the way to get the same results as shown.
Rule #17: Listen to the yarn.
Rule #18: Yarn sometimes lies.
Rule #19: Exterminate all knots and wonky sections as they arise from a skein.
Rule #20: UFOs that have not spoken to you for more than a year may be considered stash in pre-crocheted form.
Rule #21: Read the fracking pattern.
Rule #22: The pattern could be wrong.
Rule #23: Get it when you see it because when you come back next time it might not be there (another corollary to Rule #4).
Rule #24: Life is too short to mess with indifferent yarn.
Rule #25: Sweat the details.
Rule #26: Crochet is not dumb and neither are crocheters.
Rule #27: Knitting is not the enemy.
Rule #28: Anyone who doesn’t get Rule #26 is the enemy.
Rule #29: Pay attention to the information on the yarn label.
Rule #30: Yarn labels sometimes lie.
Rule #31: The sworn enemy of crochet, eclipsing all others for viciousness and cruelty (including coffee, hot irons and the CEO of the US division of Clover), is Velcro.
Rule #32: Have dessert first. Dessert while crocheting never works out too well (a sort of sidebar to Rule #7).
46 thoughts on “Crochet Rules”
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i love it! where was this when i was 6 yr old? and got my first trophy for crocheting? -karen koca 32 of wis
I love these rules, they made me laugh….. I need get my husband to believe number 4.
You and me both :o)
AMEN to that!!!!!!!
anyone who can convince their husband of rule #4 needs to be my friend so they can share there wisdom.lol
My fiance doesn’t care one way or the other, lol. I have large boxes of yarn taking up most of our closet and he will still go buy me a color for a project :) Most of what I make I end up selling or giving away so I think that helps, lol.
That was so funny & anybody that does crochet would enjoy. I laughed at the whole thing.
Great rules to live by! :) :)
So true :)
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After making the pearl river shawl twice!!! first with two size 15 knitting needles taped together (because I couldn’t find a size 50 anywhere) plus using a finer yarn with mohair than the pattern recommended, then with a size 50 knitting needle as per the pattern I can appreciate the above. Not withstanding I made two beautiful shawls the first not quite the length yet georgeous none the less. Time spent…don’t ask!
Rule #27 After handling the knitting needles for so long I decided to learn to knit and take a break from crocheting for a spell. I agree knitting is fun, too slow though so back to crochet after this project is complete.
Doris
I am working on the Avalon top, and do not understand Round 2 of body all sizes-
Round 2: Ch 1, 4 dc in beginning ch-sp, *sc in first sc of underarm foundation, [ch 5, sk next 2 sc, sc in next 2 sc] 1 (1, 1, 2, 2) times, (THIS IS WHAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND— CH 5, SK NEXT 2 SC, SC IN LAST SC OF UNDERARM)*, (4 sc, ch 5, 4 sc) in next 13 (15, 17, 18, 20) ch-5 sps; repeat from * to * once more across other underarm, (4 sc, ch 5, 4 sc) in next 12 (14, 16, 17, 19) ch-5 sps, 4 sc in same ch-sp as beginning; join with ch 2, dc in first sc—30 (34, 38, 42, 46) ch-sps.
HELP
Hey Nora,
I do not give crochet pattern support here on this site. Please join us at Ravelry.com. There you will find a forum dedicated to my designs, Doris Chan:Everyday Crochet. Post your question there and the posse or I will be along to answer. Thanks for your understanding.
Yours,
Doris
It doesn’t matter how much we love our cats, cats and crochet do not go well together. Even if sound asleep, that kitty can hear the rustle of yarn and crochet hook. Before you realize it, BAM!, you’ve got a really cute YouTube video of “Sweet Kitty Crocheting.”
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I live by number four, though I frequently break rules 2,7,8, and 12.
I’ll be 16 in May. Crocheting is my favorite hobby. Nobody dares to mock it, because they are all in awe over the stuff I can make >:P
this is just beautifully written! I am going to highlight rule # 26 and put it up on my fridge!
I fracking love you, stranger!
Wow I just love your list of “Rules!” I shared it over at Ravelry with my group. Just wanted you to know that I really enjoyed reading each one and sharing it with my fellow crocheters and knitters at Ravelry.
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#5 Cracked me up!
I think I can speak for all Doris Chan fans when I say that we love your designs – they inspire us – but your humor keeps us coming back for more! ;)
I haven’t crocheted in 30 years but have never forgotten how much I enjoyed it. This makes me want to buy some yarn-I still have my mom’s crochet hooks!