Everyone who has some free time this weekend should spend their hours volunteering. But after you do your great deeds, like donating food or clothes, you might be tempted to overshare about it. You will immediately want to run to the hilltops and scream, “Hey everybody, look how much good I did.” Don’t do this! You will lose all of the moral superiority that you just earned.

Below are some suggestions that will help you to not act like a stupid jerk who brags about how much they volunteer.

Include Others In Your Brags

There’s a definite collective “we” in volunteering—there’s no I in team, or volunteerng, so embrace the other people who helped you. Instead of telling people about your own experiences, why not tell the story of the heroic guy who skipped his own birthday to help organize donations and refer to him as “this guy I met while volunteering this weekend.” Keep it casual.

Tell Others How They Can Help

Look at Tumblr Mensch Anthony De Rosa demonstrate perfect social media etiquette here:

Keeping it as short as possible while providing a simple, informative link is great. De Rosa doesn’t even provide a description of what he’s doing. He’ll let YOU figure that out, or the best case scenario here is that you’ll take his lead and come and join him. Getting more people to volunteer with your brag gives you a ton of extra bonus points.

Don’t Pull That Card

After coming home from helping out, you will probably be tired and think that you qualify for at least three tropical vacations. Resist this as much as possible. Because if you pull the “Oh, sorry I didn’t do the dishes. I was too busy…helping out the newly homeless" card, the admiration coming towards you will turn into deep hatred immediately. It’s just a bad way to brag.

Take It Off Social Media Entirely 

Do you think Spiderman ever put out a press release after he got some lady’s purse back? Nope. Saving volunteer-brags for in-person conversations works best. Save it for your next dinner with your in-laws. Make sure your partner drops the bomb though: “Oh mom, did you hear Emma volunteered a couple weeks ago at that animal shelter? Isn’t she great?” Play it real cool, calm, and philanthropic-like. 

Don’t Tell Anyone. Ever.

Obviously the most appropriate way to act post-volunteerism is to not tell anyone at all. Keeping the experience as your own little selfless treasure is the best way to behave. If you have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. That way, come Monday, when you tell your most hated coworker that you did “absolutely nothing” this weekend, and they say that they brunched or went shopping, you can look down at them like the worthless scum of the earth that they are.

[Image via Getty]

- Myles Tanzer